DU monkey-owners, do you spank... - Democratic Underground

short bus president

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Fri Nov-26-04 02:58 PM
Original message

DU monkey-owners, do you spank...

Oh, nevermind. It's just gonna get locked anyway.

Apologies in advance, Mr. BigMcEtc. It begged me to copycat it. I was taunted. ;-)

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Moonbeam_Starlight

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Fri Nov-26-04 02:59 PM
Response to Original message

1. OH and I suppose

it's the THREAD'S fault, eh? Sort of "the devil made me do it?"

Whatever happened to personal responsibility, huh?

Big McLargeHuge, I think Short Bus needs to be spanked!

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short bus president

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:02 PM
Response to Reply #1

3. Do we have a volunteer?

I dunno if it's gonna do any good, tho. Velma broke her special bamboo cane o'er my ass last month, and the lesson didn't seem to take...

:P

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Phillycat

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:15 PM
Response to Reply #3

9. Hmm.

Yeah, I think I might be up to the task. Lemme just pull some things out of storage...

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short bus president

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:18 PM
Response to Reply #9

10. Now THAT'S what kinda

crack I'M smokin'!

Sure you won't bring a pizza paddle, tho? Leather whips are just another form of non-human animal cruelty, ya know. ;-)

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Phillycat

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:20 PM
Response to Reply #10

11. It's amazing what you can find on Google.

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short bus president

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:26 PM
Response to Reply #11

14. Silly cartoon woman!

She'll get split ends with that kind of vigorous brush stroke.

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Phillycat

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:26 PM
Response to Reply #14

15. Google image "spank".

All sorts of fun things here.

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JimmyJazz

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Fri Nov-26-04 04:04 PM
Response to Reply #15

33. WHY DID I LISTEN TO YOU?????? Good grief

Did you see the picture of the monkey spanking his er, um, his monkey?

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Phillycat

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Fri Nov-26-04 04:22 PM
Response to Reply #33

34. Just goes to show, anything with my name and "spank" in it

should be studiously avoided.

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short bus president

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Fri Nov-26-04 04:46 PM
Response to Reply #34

35. heh.

"janespankz"

;-)

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Renew Deal

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Fri Nov-26-04 05:03 PM
Response to Reply #1

38. He called me a moron the other day

and told me to cut the shit. A mod with personality. No Moderator name required.

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matcom

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:00 PM
Response to Original message

2. i'd spank BigMcLargeHuge over this thread!

oh, wait. sorry. :D

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short bus president

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:03 PM
Response to Reply #2

4. You'll just spank anyone, anywhere, won't you?

Shameless manhussy!

:P

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matcom

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:04 PM
Response to Reply #4

5. sssssshhhhhhhhhhhh

Edited on Fri Nov-26-04 03:04 PM by matcom

authorities in this aread are looking for a 'serial spanker'

i know NOTHING about that!

it's the HIPPO'S fault

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Ron Green

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:11 PM
Response to Original message

6. Back when I lived on the farm, I used to kick my own ass!

hee-haw.

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miss_kitty

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:13 PM
Response to Original message

7. i wanna post here

before it gets locked.

I have no monkey to...

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JimmyJazz

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:14 PM
Response to Reply #7

8. you mean I have to post in this thread just so I can say hi to you?

couldn't you have picked a different one?

:hi:

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short bus president

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:23 PM
Response to Reply #8

13. What, you're too GOOD for the monkey-spankin' thread???

Why I oughtta... :spank:

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JimmyJazz

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:27 PM
Response to Reply #13

17. okay

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short bus president

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:34 PM
Response to Reply #17

24. You sound less than enthusiastic.

That kinda attitude will get you trampled in line by janesez, young lady!

:D

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miss_kitty

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:38 PM
Response to Reply #24

26. janesez is using a whip

Isn't that cheating?

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short bus president

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:42 PM
Response to Reply #26

29. I took the whip to be a motivational tool only,

not a substitute for some down-home bare-handed monkey-spankin'.

Care to comment on this matter, janesez?

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Phillycat

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:45 PM
Response to Reply #29

32. .

http://tommyrico.blogspot.com/spank%20Me!.jpg

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miss_kitty

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Fri Nov-26-04 05:56 PM
Response to Reply #29

42. "motivational tool..."

hehhehhehhehhehheh. You said tool.

That aside, it looks at the ready to me.

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short bus president

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Fri Nov-26-04 06:09 PM
Response to Reply #42

43. I'll take your word for it

since you're one who knows her leather.

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miss_kitty

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:27 PM
Response to Reply #8

18. Oh Look JimmyJazz!

SBP has genously offered to lend me his monkey to sp....

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JimmyJazz

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:29 PM
Response to Reply #18

20. Lol - Are you going to take him up on it?

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miss_kitty

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:31 PM
Response to Reply #20

21. I don't know

something about my reach exceeding my grasp goes here.

:D

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short bus president

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:32 PM
Response to Reply #18

22. Just as long as you return him

in no worse condition than you found him in.

And watch out. He spits.

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miss_kitty

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:34 PM
Response to Reply #22

23. Do you have no control over your monkey?

Have you thought of training your monkey?

No wonder your monkey needs spanking!

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short bus president

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:38 PM
Response to Reply #23

25. I was happy just to approach "housebroken" with this one.

Forget about obeying commands, or walking on a leash. Maybe I'm just a weak-willed monkey owner. I mean, you try to work with 'em, to make 'em friendly around other people and such, but it's just so hard, you know?

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miss_kitty

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:42 PM
Response to Reply #25

30. I know it can be hard

but there' a lot to be said for control. Sometimes you can train your monkey to think of something other than the task at hand, which will keep your mokey from spitting. At least, before you want him to.

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short bus president

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:44 PM
Response to Reply #30

31. You've obviously not met my monkey.

There is no "thinking." Only stimulus-response. Very pavlovian.

I'm thinking of investing in one of those shock-collars.

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short bus president

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:21 PM
Response to Reply #7

12. It's OK.

You can use mine. Katnip drives him WILD.

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matcom

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:27 PM
Response to Original message

16. nominated for the front page

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miss_kitty

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:28 PM
Response to Reply #16

19. I second that nomination!

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Deja Q

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:40 PM
Response to Reply #19

28. Third!

:crazy:

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Renew Deal

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Fri Nov-26-04 05:04 PM
Response to Reply #28

39. Fourth

Man, I hopt this thing isn't automated.

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Deja Q

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Fri Nov-26-04 03:40 PM
Response to Original message

27. My monkey's spanking habits will not be told for free!

Send me $25 and we'll talk about the monkey! :evilgrin:

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Skittles

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Fri Nov-26-04 05:00 PM
Response to Original message

36. time for that old joke

Edited on Fri Nov-26-04 05:00 PM by Skittles

Man passes by his son's room: SON, IF YOU DON'T QUIT DOING THAT YOU'RE GONNA GO BLIND.

Son: HEY DAD! I'M OVER HERE!!! :D

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short bus president

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Fri Nov-26-04 05:03 PM
Response to Reply #36

37. Can I groan and slap my knee at the same time for that one?

Hi Skittles! :hi: It makes me very happy to see you here, and feeling well enough to click on a raunchy thread by the scavery likes of me!

Er, I mean... what's a nice ass-kickin' girl like you doin' in a thread like this???

Oh, and still :hug:, 'cuz I like you.

;-)

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Skittles

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Fri Nov-26-04 05:25 PM
Response to Reply #37

40. ha, it''s like Seinfeld

talking about "it" without saying "it". :thumbsup:

Can't keep Skittles down for long. :o

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short bus president

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Fri Nov-26-04 05:26 PM
Response to Reply #40

41. That's good to hear, sweetie.

I mean, please don't kick my ass. I'm trying to behave. Really. ;-)

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SarahB

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Fri Nov-26-04 08:33 PM
Response to Original message

44. You need more than a spank.

You need discipline!

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short bus president

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Fri Nov-26-04 08:34 PM
Response to Reply #44

45. Aye! Now THAT'S

my flavor of latex!

;-)

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SarahB

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Fri Nov-26-04 08:55 PM
Response to Reply #45

46. She's cute, huh?

:D

That's my alter-ego. The one who isn't the proper New England mommy, but the wild Vegas hottie. :P

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short bus president

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Fri Nov-26-04 09:01 PM
Response to Reply #46

47. That's Vegas?

I could've sworn that was somewhere about halfway between New England and the Southern Mid-Atlantic, at a hotel off I-95 called the... eh... check yer DUmail, huh? ;-)

:P

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SarahB

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Fri Nov-26-04 09:14 PM
Response to Reply #47

48. You're lounge-stalking again, short bus.

Or you've got to fight the 6' 5" dude in Vegas who's well-trained in various forms of martial arts that I'm saving it for at the moment.

Repeat these words. It will be your mantra.

SarahBelle is merely a big flirt.
SarahBelle is merely a big flirt.
SarahBelle is merely a big flirt.
SarahBelle is merely a big flirt.
SarahBelle is merely a big flirt.

:evilgrin:

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