Wow, my brother-in-law is a complete prick.

I stayed with them for about a year in their garage. I payed rent every month, but toward the end I found out he had wanted me to pay $350 per month to stay in a room that was used for nothing. Well to be precise they stored a light-bright and a broken bread maker in that room. Those items remained during my residency. My sister and I thought $150 was fair. So thats what I paid. Keep in mind the mortgage for their house is around $800 per month. I guess they constantly fought about me not paying enough. The garage was detached from the house. I only went inside to number two. Urination was done outside, cooking was done in a toaster oven. And I got water from the hose in the backyard. I would go days without being seen.

I moved out a few weeks ago and me and my sister moved what we could in the Suburban since the truck had yard debris in the back. So I thought the only thing we didn't move was my bed. Turns out my printer was left behind. My sister had agreed to help me move this stuff since I am 27 and have never had a license. She always helps me move. But her three kids make it hard to actually get things done. Either I'm busy or she is.

So, dick-head decides to throw my mattresses in the backyard. I can handle that. I don't really need them anymore. And they are large. But, the fucker threw my printer out in the rain.

The problem with the guy is he fucking snaps when anything goes wrong or he experiences any stress. And he only addresses problems when he is drunk. That just leads to massive blowouts. Shit, maybe it is time to start leaving cards for divorce lawyers in my sisters purse. :/)

How often does he get drunk? Lots?

Trust me on this one, there are more problems coming down the road with this guy. I earned my hash marks with people like these. Your sister has hard decisions to make in the days, weeks, months and years ahead. Very hard indeed.

He basically drinks when he is not working. He actually accused me of stealing beer from the keg because it went faster then he expected. I told him beer goes fast when you start drinking at noon (that was a unfun afternoon). She needs to ditch the guy. But she has three kids and I just honestly doubt she could support them without him. Shit, what a trap.

Welfare is better than being beaten or treated like dirt :hug:

I have never seen him hit her. I have seen him hit doors, walls, throw his cell-phone. Who knows what is going on now that I am not around. Now I'm all stressed out.

Just to add some perspective. He hasn't worked for about 9 months and that is really fucking with him. And normally he makes about 60K per year. Now they live off of odd jobs and food stamps.

Men take it real hard when they have to provide for a family and they lose their jobs. :hug:

my ex husband acted! He would throw things, drink excessively, smoke wacky, punch his dog. He hit me one time. Hence the "ex" status!

And I believe this is on the mark:
"The problem with the guy is he fucking snaps when anything goes wrong or he experiences any stress. And he only addresses problems when he is drunk. That just leads to massive blowouts. Shit, maybe it is time to start leaving cards for divorce lawyers in my sisters purse. :/)"

It must be a living hell having to tolerate a personality such as your brother-in-law's. Yes, you may not have the bucks yet, but you are more fortunate, in all other ways, than your sister.

Your sister will be fortunate to have you there, on an emotional level, for her if/when she chooses to break free from "Mr. Personality." <eg>

for the use of that space. He will miss that money now that you are no longer there. And throwing out your things is just plain mean.

He sounds like he needs help and something on the inside is bothering him that can't be fixed without therapy. What your brother in-law did to you might be rather small compared to what he is doing to your sister behind closed doors.

You can get a printer pretty cheap right now for around the same price that you would pay for a printer ribbon. You sister and the kids need your help but don't make it obvious that you are getting them help because he might get violent :hug:

It was the fact that the act was so filled with hate. I always thought he was cool when he was sober. Now I don't want to ever see him again. I would never intentionally destroy his property. And my hoping to avoid him is more complex then the destruction of a 99$ printer. It is his apparent hatred of me that scares the shit out of me.


And me and my mom and aunt are looking for options that would allow my sister a graceful exit from this relationship. The big obstacle is she needs to realize that this can't last without tragedy.

Your sister has to take precautions on how she gets out of the situation. Plan ahead and don't let anything become obvious. :hug:

drunks pick their targets, they know who is aggressive and who is not. if he did that to me, bro in law or not,we would be duking it out

The most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship is when she actually tries to leave. Please keep that in mind because you b-i-l sounds like the "what's mine is mine and you better not try to take it away from me" type.

If he'd destroy property like that, most likely because he's losing the income (even if it isn't what he wanted), he'd destroy people rather than see something he 'owns' taken away from him.

This is experience speaking. I was one of the lucky. I got away. He stole my son in retaliation and I didn't see the child again for 24 years.

I think possession might be his motive. And I present a voice that won't fall for the mind-games. He knows that my presence won't allow his bullshit to sink in. Maybe thats why he wants to piss me off. He wants me to go away so I can't present a dissenting voice. Hmmm..

dependent on them, and I hope things are looking up for you.

I got cheap rent and they got some extra cash. I could have moved out. I just wanted to save a bunch of cash so I could move to Minnesota. Now I live with my mom and I teach her php and mysql for a few hours per day.

Everything is fine with me. Thanks for the concern..

What you are describing doesn't sound like beer to me---and, no offense...but the I-5 corrider in OR is ground zero for meth madness.

Sad how one nasty person can screw an entire family, isn't it.

He is a way cooler stoner then drunk.

I know we have a meth problem. Fucking Thurston. ;-)

no need to keep depending on others for driving - go to driving school if necessary and get your license - your sister may need your help in the future -

the money thing - well that is because they must be financially strapped with his work situation changed - it is not about you - but about him - his drinking and lack of job = irrational person

I don't depend on others to move me. They offer to help so I don't give all my shit away every-time I move. I have done that many times. A few years ago I moved with what I only could fit in my backpack, the rest I gave away. I hate having stuff.

you seem like a real prick yourself.

always somebody else's fault eh? 150 to live in a garage sounds reasonable to me. i'd be pissed too if my wife's brother lived in my garage and pissed outside and drank from the hose. get a brain moran.

if my wife's brother lived in my garage, pissed in the driveway AAAND put cards for divorce lawyers in my wife's purse I would kill the son of a bitch with my bare hands.

Sounds like you're over-estimating him.

Says that most alcoholics or people who are getting there are a**holes. The angry type, makes life miserable for everyone else, drunk drinks so that they won't care about their misery or the misery that they cause other people. Not finding work and having his lifestyle go down the tube probably contributes to his drinking and his anger. It sounds like he needs AA or some other substance abuse type counseling.

Take her. Insist. She'll be scared, tell her nobody is going to tell her to make any changes at all, but she won't be alone anymore. That's all.

It sucks, but life is full of things that suck. Figuring out how to unsuck your life is half of what life is all about.

I grew up around nasty, violent alcoholics. The damage to my psyche is still far from healed!