Kentucky Felines Charged with Lewd Acts

Early yesterday morning, agents from the Kentucky Task Force of Animal Perversion, along with local officials, conducted a well coordinated round up of suspected perverted cats. The raids came after a nine month sting operation in which agents and confidential informants gathered evidence that the cats where engaging in "lewd and unnatural sexual deviance".

Special Agent in charge John Maplecrotch praised the work of his agents. "These cats are criminals. They are destroying the moral fabric of our society. Right now we are conducting interrogations to determine who the ringleaders behind this sick cult are. Most likely it was a calico. They're Satan's minions you know."

The cats in question have been charged with violating the states bestiality laws. They are accused of sleeping with humans, improper displays of affection, and using their tounges as to attain sexual pleasure.

One confidential informant had this to say. "Man, I never knew that this problem was so out of hand. I went to my neighbors house and there was his cat licking his face. I thought I was going to puke. I knew I had to do something to stop this sickness. If we let this continue God will surely punish this great country of ours."

While being led to an awaiting paddy wagon one defendent spoke out. "Meow, meow meow meow. Meow meow meow meow! Meow Meow!" Truer words from a deviant have never been spoken.

With over 200 arrest warrents already served officials hope that more cats will understand that if they continue their evil ways, then the next set of kitty cuffs could be theirs.

Go see Kinsey and you'll see how far we've come! LOL!

Oh my God! Our cat sleeps with my wife EVERY NIGHT!

I had no idea what perverse lascivious thoughts were going through that furball's head!

And his name is Randy!

- I should have known.

Doesn't anyone think of the children?

Despite having a nice bed next to mine, my dog refuses to entertain it. I had to buy a double bed (used to have a twin) just so he wouldn't fall out of bed repeatedly all night.

And that's not to mention his, uh, passionate attachment to my right lower leg.

They can't have my doggie! He may be a deviant, but he's my deviant!

Get an attorney!

:7

...but then considering that Kentucky sent senile Jim Bunning back to the senate...