Significant others, families, and holidays. What do you do?

I find myself in a bit of a dilemma. I hate Christmas. I have no religious attachment to the holiday and the commercialization/Americanization aspect of it completely disgusts me. I stopped partaking in my family's events about 5 years ago. I am 500+ miles away, so it's relatively easy. I go home for Thanksgiving and that's that. My bf has similar feelings regarding Christmas and is not very close with his family (large, dysfunctional family spread around the country). He has not been to a family gathering in 6 years. We went camping last year and had a lovely time. This year he's decided that he would like to go to the family thing based on the fact that the majority(but not all) of siblings will be there. (BTW, There was a large family event in June that we attended and saw everyone for 3 days). And of course he would like me to go with. Said trip will cost us in the ballpark of $1000 for 48 hours of family time. If I don't go the cost drops to around $300 for just him(no need to kennel dogs or get a hotel). While we could afford for both of us to go, I'm not comfortable with going and the expense just doesn't make sense.

So, wise DU'ers, how do I handle this? BF says it will be fine if I don't go, but I feel like it will be a disappointment to him and the family. Also, I'm interested in any creative solutions you and SO's have regarding holidays.

If you really, truly don't want to go, then you shouldn't. If you think your bf would like you to, you can afford it and you really don't mind it, then I think you should go. You might find that you really enjoy it, and at least the two of you will be able to spend the holiday together! Will you be staying in a hotel? That might help a little! :)

And quite honestly, I don't think anyone would notice. It's a large family. I was barely spoken to at the last large family event. We've visited/been visited by the siblings in smaller numbers and it's been much more manageable and enjoyable.

If you don't want to be there and you still go, you will be pissed off and cranky the whole time...I know I would be.

It will just be uncomfortable for you both, a waste of a lot of money and you'll probably just argue the whole time!

Good Luck, I really hope you figure it out!! :)

Tell your SO you'll spend $350 of the $700 you are saving on his Christmas gift(s) and he'll be happy to go alone! ;-)

The camping sounds really nice....

That's more in line with the "Christmas Spirit" IMO.

but only to support him. Of course, it's your choice, and if you both agree that it's not a big deal, then you do what you feel is best for both of you.

I will reply and say that I think you should go..relax..and enjoy yourself. I don't have any religious attachment to Christmas..however, even if one doesn't believe that Jesus was the son of God, It is safe to say his birth is worth celebrating, because he is an example of the way we should all strive to be.

I also have a huge problem with the commercialization of Christmas. When I am asked what I would like for Christmas, I have been saying that it would be good to see the family all together, but no gifts needed. For years, my grandparents have been asking all of us to give our time and gifts to Charity rather than buy them more things that they don't need. On Christmas day, they go around and ask each of us about what we did. I find that I give more and more each year because it is the most rewarding.
Wow..thank goodness for the spellcheck :)