Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

Need an Exorcism, Quick !

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:29 PM
Original message
Need an Exorcism, Quick !
Edited on Thu Dec-02-04 08:30 PM by hippiechick
I have this overwhelming URGE to bang my new boss.
He's attractive, but wierdly repulsive at the same time ... he's got a W04 sticker on his truck.

:scared: HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!!!!



:hippie:

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
Bob3 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:31 PM
Response to Original message
1. HeaLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Wack to the head.

Now don't you feel better?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:47 PM
Response to Reply #1
13. Light ... I see light .... and at the end of the tunnel ... it's ...
HOWARD DEAN !!! O8)

I'm HEALED !!!!

Thankyou
Thankyou
Thankyou
Thankyou


:hippie:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:34 PM
Response to Original message
2. A W sticker?
Jeeze...don't do him any favors
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:48 PM
Response to Reply #2
15. I kinda thought in a worst case scenario ...
if he's really an asswipe, or the sex is lame, I could file a sexual harassment suit on him afterwards. :evilgrin:


:hippie:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Voltaire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:54 PM
Response to Reply #15
18. There you go
make the sumbitch pay. Hell, I'd make him pay even if the sex was good. Being a GOPer though, figure the odds on it being good.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:58 PM
Response to Reply #18
22. Heh ! On a related note ...
I told one of my former interns, in passing one day, that Republicans are sexual perverts and closet freaks ... so she went out and got a GOP lawyer from one of the firms downtown !!

Then came back several weeks later to tell me how disappointed she was because the sex was just SO boring !!!

LOLOL !!

:hippie:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Voltaire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 09:42 PM
Response to Reply #22
42. Had to find out on her own did she?
GOP Guys can't screw. Ask around
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 09:52 PM
Response to Reply #42
44. They do all their screwing in the Statehouse ...
... and nothing in the bedroom. :evilgrin:


:hippie:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Voltaire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 10:07 PM
Response to Reply #44
46. Practice for the screwing My Bitch Mitch is . . .
gonna do TO the statehouse.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:58 PM
Response to Reply #15
21. NOW YOU'RE TALKING
That's the kind of thinking I like to hear :D
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Seabiscuit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 09:35 PM
Response to Reply #15
36. Tie him to the bedposts, get him excited, and leave him stranded.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Seabiscuit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 09:35 PM
Response to Reply #36
37. Oh, and be sure to take his clothes with you on your way out.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 09:36 PM
Response to Reply #37
38. BRILLIANT !!!
:toast: But, I WOULD want to screw him before I leave.


:hippie:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Seabiscuit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 09:38 PM
Response to Reply #38
39. So, use a dildo on him.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Seabiscuit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 09:38 PM
Response to Reply #38
40. So use a dildo on him
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ET Awful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:37 PM
Response to Original message
3. Let's try some role playing, you be you, I'll be your boss :)
sans the W sticker of course :)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:40 PM
Response to Reply #3
6. Doctor, what a big ... stethoscope ... you have ...
:evilgrin:


:hippie:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ET Awful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:46 PM
Response to Reply #6
12. Wait til you see my Sphygmomanometer It'll really get your blood pressure
Edited on Thu Dec-02-04 08:47 PM by ET Awful



measured.

:)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:51 PM
Response to Reply #12
16. I simply adore a man who can talk dirty to me in Latin ...
:silly:


:hippie:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ET Awful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:55 PM
Response to Reply #16
19. Oh yeah, well . . .
Let's get together and have a fimus lauvabrum

(yeah, I know it's not grammatically correct latin, but what do you expect on short notice?) :)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 09:00 PM
Response to Reply #19
24. Is that legal in Indiana ?
:evilgrin:


:hippie:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ET Awful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 09:02 PM
Response to Reply #24
25. Who cares? I'm in Mass.! We're all decadent libruls up here
Hell, we even let our homasekshuls get married up. :)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 09:08 PM
Response to Reply #25
30. What time is my first appointment ??
Thinking, you know, this is a fairly serious case ... so it will probably take several intense sessions, over time ...


:evilgrin:


:hippie:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ET Awful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 09:10 PM
Response to Reply #30
31. My schedule's pretty open, how soon can you get here? :) n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 09:15 PM
Response to Reply #31
33. Hmmmm ......
:evilgrin:


:hippie:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ET Awful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 09:24 PM
Response to Reply #33
34. Just give me an hour or two advance notice so I can sanitize
my instruments :)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 09:31 PM
Response to Reply #34
35. Dr. Lecter, is that you ??
:scared:


:hippie:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ET Awful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-03-04 06:10 AM
Response to Reply #35
49. Nah, I'm not THAT organized :) n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
lapfog_1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:38 PM
Response to Original message
4. Just imagine an accident happened...

would you REALLY want to pass on those genes?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:43 PM
Response to Reply #4
9. Ugh !
:scared: Although I did mate with an Engineer once and thus far, HippieKid seems to have inherited only my genes !!


:hippie:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Voltaire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:40 PM
Response to Original message
5. Hey! Maybe you can convert him!!
nt
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:41 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. Is that my new Jedi mission, Quai Gonn ??
Am I now a horizontal crusader for the force ?? :evilgrin:


:hippie:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Voltaire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:44 PM
Response to Reply #7
11. Hey, I need better numbers
Edited on Thu Dec-02-04 08:44 PM by Voltaire
So you'd better git to work on that
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Scrooge Donating Member (211 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:42 PM
Response to Original message
8. WTF
IS WRONG WITH YOU GIRL????? Now get that idea RIGHT OUT of your head!!!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:44 PM
Response to Reply #8
10. I had lust in my loins before I saw the sticker.
:( I sowwy.


:hippie:

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Scrooge Donating Member (211 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 09:06 PM
Response to Reply #10
29. In your loins???
Keep that lust in your MIND, and the HELL OUT OF YOUR LOINS!! :) Now run yourself to Borders or something and find a nice liberal guy!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Arkana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:48 PM
Response to Original message
14. I COMMAND the EVIL in this WOMAN to come OUT! HEEEEAAALLLLL!!!!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:54 PM
Response to Reply #14
17. Where am I ... what happened ??
It was the strangest thing ... for a minute I wanted to buy a BMW and wear tacky 2 piece pantsuits and pearls !!! :puke:


I'm feeling woozy ....


:hippie:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Voltaire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:56 PM
Response to Reply #17
20. What's wrong with pantsuits?
Is that the uniform up there or something?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:59 PM
Original message
I was thinking "Laura Bush Pantsuits" ....
:puke:

:hippie:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 08:59 PM
Response to Reply #20
23. I was thinking "Laura Bush Pantsuits" ....
:puke:

:hippie:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Voltaire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 09:03 PM
Response to Reply #23
26. Aw HELL naw!
Only short skirts for you sweetie!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 09:05 PM
Response to Reply #26
28. Behave ! I don't need Mrs Quai Gonn kickin' my ass !!
:P


:hippie:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Voltaire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 09:39 PM
Response to Reply #28
41. YOU NEVER LET ME HAVE ANY FUN!
I can look though...heh heh heh
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 09:48 PM
Response to Reply #41
43. You better delete that picture young man !!!!
GASP !!!!


:hippie:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Voltaire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 10:06 PM
Response to Reply #43
45. NO!
nt
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Thtwudbeme Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 09:05 PM
Response to Original message
27. Better him than just some dude on the internet
I mean, at least you know him.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-02-04 09:10 PM
Response to Reply #27
32. Yeah but that means he'd know my real name ...
The internet DOES have its advantages ... ;)


:hippie:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
norml Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-03-04 01:19 AM
Response to Original message
47. Here's your exorcism prayer!
A Simple Exorcism
for Priests or Laity
Prayer Against Satan and the Rebellious Angels
Published by Order of His Holiness Pope Leo XIII


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The following is a simple exorcism prayer that can be said by priests or laity. The term “exorcism” does NOT always denote a solemn exorcism involving a person possessed by the devil. In general, the term denotes prayers to “curb the power of the devil and prevent him from doing harm.” As St. Peter had written in Holy Scripture, “your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, goeth about seeking whom he may devour.” (1 St.Peter 5,8)
The Holy Father exhorts priests to say this prayer as often as possible, as a simple exorcism to curb the power of the devil and prevent him from doing harm. The faithful also may say it in their own name, for the same purpose, as any approved prayer. Its use is recommended whenever action of the devil is suspected, causing malice in men, violent temptations and even storms and various calamities. It could be used as a solemn exorcism (an official and public ceremony, in Latin), to expel the devil. It would then be said by a priest, in the name of the Church and only with a Bishop's permission.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Prayer to St. Michael the Archangel
In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.
Most glorious Prince of the Heavenly Armies, Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in “our battle against principalities and powers, against the rulers of this world of darkness, against the spirits of wickedness in the high places” (Eph., 6,12). Come to the assistance of men whom God has created to His likeness and whom He has redeemed at a great price from the tyranny of the devil. Holy Church venerates thee as her guardian and protector; to thee, the Lord has entrusted the souls of the redeemed to be led into heaven. Pray therefore the God of Peace to crush Satan beneath our feet, that he may no longer retain men captive and do injury to the Church. Offer our prayers to the Most High, that without delay they may draw His mercy down upon us; take hold of “the dragon, the old serpent, which is the devil and Satan”, bind him and cast him into the bottomless pit ... “that he may no longer seduce the nations” (Apoc. 20, 2-3).

Exorcism
In the Name of Jesus Christ, our God and Lord, strengthened by the intercession of the Immaculate Virgin Mary, Mother of God, of Blessed Michael the Archangel, of the Blessed Apostles Peter and Paul and all the Saints. (and powerful in the holy authority of our ministry)*, we confidently undertake to repulse the attacks and deceits of the devil.
* Lay people omit the parenthesis above.
Psalm 67
God arises; His enemies are scattered and those who hate Him flee before Him. As smoke is driven away, so are they driven; as wax melts before the fire, so the wicked perish at the presence of God.

V. Behold the Cross of the Lord, flee bands of enemies.
R. The Lion of the tribe of Juda, the offspring of David, hath conquered.
V. May Thy mercy, Lord, descend upon us.
R. As great as our hope in Thee.

(The crosses below indicate a blessing to be given if a priest recites the Exorcism; if a lay person recites it, they indicate the Sign of the Cross to be made silently by that person.)
We drive you from us, whoever you may be, unclean spirits, all satanic powers, all infernal invaders, all wicked legions, assemblies and sects. In the Name and by the power of Our Lord Jesus Christ, + may you be snatched away and driven from the Church of God and from the souls made to the image and likeness of God and redeemed by the Precious Blood of the Divine Lamb. +
Most cunning serpent, you shall no more dare to deceive the human race, persecute the Church, torment God's elect and sift them as wheat. + The Most High God commands you, + He with whom, in your great insolence, you still claim to be equal. “God who wants all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth” (I Tim. 2,4). God the Father commands you. + God the Son commands you. + God the Holy Ghost commands you. + Christ, God's Word made flesh, commands you; + He who to save our race outdone through your envy, “humbled Himself, becoming obedient even unto death” (Phil.2,8); He who has built His Church on the firm rock and declared that the gates of hell shall not prevail against Her, because He will dwell with Her “all days even to the end of the world” (Matt. 28,20). The sacred Sign of the Cross commands you, + as does also the power of the mysteries of the Christian Faith. + The glorious Mother of God, the Virgin Mary, commands you; + she who by her humility and from the first moment of her Immaculate Conception crushed your proud head. The faith of the holy Apostles Peter and Paul, and of the other Apostles commands you. + The blood of the Martyrs and the pious intercession of all the Saints command you. +

Thus, cursed dragon, and you, diabolical legions, we adjure you by the living God, + by the true God, + by the holy God, + by the God “who so loved the world that He gave up His only Son, that every soul believing in Him might not perish but have life everlasting” (St.John 3, 16); stop deceiving human creatures and pouring out to them the poison of eternal damnation; stop harming the Church and hindering her liberty. Begone, Satan, inventor and master of all deceit, enemy of man's salvation. Give place to Christ in Whom you have found none of your works; give place to the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church acquired by Christ at the price of His Blood. Stoop beneath the all-powerful Hand of God; tremble and flee when we invoke the Holy and terrible Name of Jesus, this Name which causes hell to tremble, this Name to which the Virtues, Powers and Dominations of heaven are humbly submissive, this Name which the Cherubim and Seraphim praise unceasingly repeating: Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord, the God of Hosts.

V. O Lord, hear my prayer.
R. And let my cry come unto Thee.
V. May the Lord be with thee.
R. And with thy spirit.

Let us pray.

God of heaven, God of earth, God of Angels, God of Archangels, God of Patriarchs, God of Prophets, God of Apostles, God of Martyrs, God of Confessors, God of Virgins, God who has power to give life after death and rest after work: because there is no other God than Thee and there can be no other, for Thou art the Creator of all things, visible and invisible, of Whose reign there shall be no end, we humbly prostrate ourselves before Thy glorious Majesty and we beseech Thee to deliver us by Thy power from all the tyranny of the infernal spirits, from their snares, their lies and their furious wickedness. Deign, O Lord, to grant us Thy powerful protection and to keep us safe and sound. We beseech Thee through Jesus Christ Our Lord. Amen.

V. From the snares of the devil,
R. Deliver us, O Lord.

V. That Thy Church may serve Thee in peace and liberty:
R. We beseech Thee to hear us.

V. That Thou may crush down all enemies of Thy Church:
R. We beseech Thee to hear us.

(Holy water is sprinkled in the place where we may be.)



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Baja Margie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-03-04 02:11 AM
Response to Original message
48. By the Power of Christ,
I COMPEL you to leave the body of this poor woman. Out.





Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Thu May 02nd 2024, 09:45 PM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC