My kitty is no more

Arnie died today. He was twelve years old. He had dental surgery in the past because his teeth have always been bad, & about a week ago, I noticed he kept walking up to the food dish & looking at it, but not eating. I feed my cats dry food only, & I thought that maybe his teeth were bothering him again, so I gave him some canned food. He took a couple of bites & meowed at me.

I took him to the vet & she felt a large mass in his abdomen. A biopsy was done, & she phoned me this afternoon to let me know that it was cancerous. Poor Arnie has hardly been eating anything, regardless of how tempting it was, & was losing weight at an alarming rate. The vet said she couldn't see any way that surgery would have a good outcome.

I took him back to the vet this afternoon & had the vet put him to sleep. I sat in the room with him for about 40 minutes afterward, crying. The vet's assistant was very caring; she offered to take my payment up to the desk for me, & showed me out the back door so I did not have to walk through the waiting area with my tear-stained face.

I got Arnie when he was still too young to be taken from his mother. (My FIL found him in a crack house that was being renovated by the landlord). I called him Uncle Arnie because he was so gentle. He never hissed or swatted at any of the cats we've introduced into the household. He had a habit of getting on my pillow & standing on my hair that annoyed me no end, but I'd give just about anything if Arnie were here to stand on my hair right now. I miss him terribly, & cannot stop wondering if things might have been different if I had discovered his cancer earlier.

My thoughts and tears go out to you. Losing a pet is so painful, and I wanted to offer you my deepest condolences. I'm sure Arnie was soothed to have you with him today at the vet. I'm so sorry for your hurt...

Please don't tear yourself up wondering what would have happened if you'd discovered it earlier. It's hard to know what's wrong with a cat. He sounds like a very special one.

Take care of yourself!

Don't beat yourself up over the cancer, though - I wondered the same thing about my Sonya for a long time, and finally decided that it wasn't doing either of us any good. Just remember him however you feel necessary.

Grieving with you...

I lost my beloved little dog in May, after 14 years of her devotion. The whole family is still grieving, as there was no part of the day that she did not share.

Her kidney failure and heart murmur came on suddenly - almost overnight. (I am suspicious that the Proheart 6 heartworm vaccine may have exacerbated an underlying condition). The vet came out to the house to put her to sleep, when her breathing became labored, and he left us a wonderful book, "Goodbye My Friend." Written by people who share our loss, it approaches these "what if" questions that so many of us share, and don't realize that we share.

Some animals seem just like our children, and the loss feels like losing a child. And some seem too good, too sweet, too devoted, too loving to ever die, and it is almost beyond accepting.

Please know that others feel your loss.

:(

Sorry to hear the bad news.

Feel better:-)

My dog, Bonnie, went blind, didn't eat much, and had cancer. We had her put down on June 20. That was the saddest day of my life.

Best wishes to you, AnnabelLee. :loveya:

I had to put my 18-year-old calico cat to sleep on June 20. What a sad day here, too! I can't remember crying so hard, so uncontrollably. There are some excellent sites online re: euthanasia of elderly pets that helped alot. I gave her the best final week a kitty could ever want... her moment of death was peaceful and I have no regrets about that part of it. But I didn't realize how much she was the SOUL of this household until she was gone.

Back to the original post: I had a 2-year-old cat a few years ago who was the love of my life and she was suddenly diagnosed with a cancerous tumor that had wrapped itself around her esophagus and was preventing her from eating (much like your sweetie). While euthanasia is a no-brainer when an animal is suffering and in agony, the terrible part was not being able to come to grips with the sudden diagnosis, the sudden urgent medical need to euthanize my beloved cat. There was no time for me to process it mentally, to prepare; it had to be done RIGHT THEN. I'll never get over that one. Amazing that she was only in my life 2 years and made such an impact. If I had to do it over again, knowing the outcome, I'd still opt for those 2 years, that's how much they were worth to me! I know you would do the same. Try to remember that.

Huge animal lover here, my heart goes out to everyone on this thread who's been there. I'm not sure we ever really get past it entirely. So many holes in my heart all these years later.... Sybil, Lucy, Gracie, Moriarty, Bruce, you are all still loved and utterly missed....

It made me so sad to read it. Sometime I wish I didn't care about animals--it would make things a lot easier. Thank you for your sympathy.

My sincere condolences. I lost my cat of 18 years a few years back.
I understand how you feel.
You gave Arnie a great life. You are not to blame for his illness.

So sorry to hear about Arnie. Cancer like that can grow like wildfire, so discovering it earlier would likely have made no difference.

Just try to remember that, thanks to you, Arnie had a far better and happier life than he would have had if you hadn't come along. He was a very lucky kitty. That's what you should dwell on. Thanks to you, he had a very happy life. If Arnie's spirit could talk, he'd be thanking you too.

It's tough to lose a kitty. I lost my Gus a few months ago, and the people at DU were a saving grace.

We all feel your sadness, and you're in my thoughts!

the cat was old ...dental surgery, suddenly quit eating afterwards, tumor was found... interesting...

I'm so sorry for your lose.

I hope you don't spend too much of your time pondering the 'what if's.' You can't go back and change things, and it does no good, it only stings all the more. Remember the joy of Arnie as a companion.

I hope you feel better soon. I lost my Maddy McCall about three weeks ago, and I still hurt to think about her.

Maybe looking at pictures and recalling old times will be comforting to you. It helped me.

So sorry for your loss...I wish you peace and comfort.

I couldn't even imagine what you must have gone through when you found her.

Don't be hard on yourself, you did your best with him. Please don't wonder, sometimes there are no signs.

He sounds like a very sweet animal.

I know how much the pain of losing a pet can hurt. Last year my husband, son and I wept as our beautiful Zorina drew her last breaths. Time heals, but I can still cry just thinking about her and the untimely way she was taken from us.

Love and Light-

lb

I know I would feel like that if I lost my cat :-(

I think it's natural to wonder what if - but what if you had never found him in the first place, that would have been the greatest loss.

All of us animal lovers understand and share your sadness. Arnie will always be in your heart and fond memories.

Hope this helps ease the pain.
http://www.rainbowbridge.com

Hugs for you dear heart. {{{{{{{{{{{{{AnnabelLee}}}}}}}}}}}

Your sympathies mean more to me than you can possibly know. Reading your posts, it reminds me of how many here have lost a beloved companion, & I know that you truly understand.

My sweet kitty does last October.

So sorry....

They'd rather give you joy quietly than bitch about their aches! No way you could have known! Peace to you and adopt another kitten soon from the pound or Humane Society! :loveya:

I have two things to say. I am driven to tears reading of your loss, and remembering the death of my ChinaGirl two years ago. She is always with me in spirit, comforting me at times with my memory of her. I still miss her, and always will.

But, I have to say, that you should not feel guilty about not detecting Arnie's tumor. As a colon cancer patient I can say that the surgeries required for survival are brutal, and the pain after is constant. It was only appropriate for me because I have a family to support. Releasing innocent Arnie from his pain was most definitely the humane thing to do. I'm sure his spirit is with you, loving and thanking you.

Your post has started me crying again--"innocent Arnie" is exactly what he was.

Edited for spelling

I am so sorry! My 2 kittes have been like a refuge to me the past couple of days. I have cried into their fur, and they have nuzzled and purred at me. That has been a comfort.

I know your sweet kitty was loved and gave you love in return. Please accept my sympathies and prayers.

Pam

:loveya:

Hugs & Kisses from Me on your tough day.

:loveya:

We love our little animal buddies and hate it when it's their time to go. I hope the little guy went peacefully knowing he was loved. That is the best any of us can hope for at our end. :(

As a fellow animal lover, it sounds like he was a huge part of the family. I've lost pets in the past, and its never easy. I hope your friends/family are supportive in this rough time.

Sounds like he was a wonderful fellow, hair-standing and all....

I cried when I read your post. It reminded me so much of my orange tabby cat, whom I had to put to sleep on income tax day, April 15, last year. Even though that's been more than a year, I still can't quite bring myself to adopt another cat. I adopted him in December, 1984, and I never gave him an official name but just called him "cat" or "boy," and he was 17 years and 4 months old when I had to take him for his last visit to the vet. He had had cancer in his mouth, the vet had removed the tumor but she said it would come back, because the only way she could get the whole tumor would be to remove his whole jaw, and that I would know when the time came to bring him in and have him euthanized. She was right, I knew. I was kind of numb, I wish I had hugged the little guy one last time just before, I've regretted that ever since. The vet told me while she was administering the lethal injection to talk to him, to let my voice be the last thing he heard, and when I tried to do that, it suddenly hit me that I would never again see the little guy, I would never talk to him or hear him meow at me or see him greet me at the door again, and he always really liked to jump up into my lap when I sat at my computer surfing the Web, and I would hug him and scratch him on top of his head and his back, and he would just purr like crazy, and it suddenly hit me as those chemicals were going into him there on that table in the vet's office that I would never again have any of these experiences with the little guy again, and as I was gently stroking him on top of his head, I tried to say, "Good-bye, little puddy tat boy," but I was just all choked up and I couldn't talk at all. And then I just started crying great big ol' crocodile tears. I'm a 53-year-old man. I'm not supposed to get all weepy like that. Am I? I really didn't think I would react that way, I actually felt embarrassed about it afterward. And then I went home and my older brother was in the house, just getting out of the shower, and this was about 30 minutes after the cat had died, and I told him "The cat's dead," and he said he had just heard a cat meowing, and I didn't hear it, but then, coming from one corner of the bedroom to the right of where I was standing, I heard MY old cat's meow! Okay, you're going to say, "Well, it was just another cat somewhere outside the house," but I know it wasn't, I know what MY 17-year-old cat's meow sounded like, and besides, in 15 months since then, I have not heard a cat meowing from that location inside that house ONE SINGLE TIME, and I swear to God, to this day I believe that really was MY old cat, passing by and saying good-bye on his way to wherever it is that good cats go in the afterlife. The experiences I had on that day were indeed some of the most profound experiences I've ever had in my life. I had an argument with somebody once about whether cats and dogs and other animals have souls. My friend said that the Bible says that "cats don't have souls," but I know good and well that they do. We couldn't love them so much if they didn't. Who was it who said that "the eyes are windows into the soul"? Look into your dog's or cat's eyes and tell me that there isn't somebody in there! I loved that old cat, I really did, and I know I'm going to see the little guy again some day in the afterlife.

Ron

Your story is so sad, I don't even know what to say. I believe you when you say you heard you cat meowing. I've never had an experience like that, but there is such a bond between us & the animals that live with & love us, even though I don't believe in ghosts or spirits, I believe that love is very strong, perhaps stronger than death. I grieve with you in the loss of your friend. He knew you were with him at the end, even if you were unable to speak to him. He knew you were with him & that you love him.

The replies to my OP are breaking my heart, but at the same time they give me hope that the human species is capable of extending its circle of compassion to all living things.

You were lucky to have each other. You gave him love and a good home. He gave you affection and companionship and probably quite a foew laughs over the years. Take care.

MzPip
:dem:

And as it turns out we are both very sad for Arnie ~

Time is just too darn short with these furbabies...Try not to think of could have, should haves....you rescued a little baby cat and gave him a wonderful life...and a head of hair to stand on....and, in the end, that's what counts...

Hugs to you, my friend, Laura

Prayers to you.

:loveya:

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for your kind words & your understanding. Only the passage of time will help to soothe my grieving heart & that of my husband, but the sentiments that have been expressed here have made me smile, brought tears to my eyes (more than once), & helped me to remember that Arnie, without a doubt, had a good life & knew he was much loved.

None of us who have lost a beloved companion will ever forget them or the love they gave us.

Arnie is now in a place filled with good smells, warm beds, sunshine and endless new toys.

{{{hugs, Annabelle}}} - I am so sorry.

he was 19 and I still miss him greatly .

They always leave paw prints on our hearts .
I wish you the best as you adjust to life w/o
your kitty. :-(

;( Thanks for giving him love and a good home all those years.

Please don't beat yourself up; you did all you could.

I lost my perfect cat, Rhiannon, to cancer. I was taking her for weekly acupuncture treatments because she had Horner's Syndrome, which was a paralysis on the left side of her face. This is a symptom, caused by another disease. I fed her several times a day, using syringe, and she ate well, but still continued to lose weight. My vet consulted with a neurologist and thought he had found the reason for the paralysis, an especially resistant ear infection that requires a double dose of antibiotics to effect a cure. It was on that visit that he checked her ears, again, and discovered the tumor. It had finally gotten big enough for him to see it and, because it was in her face, it was inoperable.

I continued with the acupuncture, to reduce pain and inflammation and to help with her appetite. I also gave her herbs and more conventional medicines, ground up in her food. I asked him what would cause such a thing and he said that, in his experience, it would be genetic predisposition. Since I never knew the background of this beautiful and amazing cat, I couldn't tell him a thing. This guy is brilliant and offers treatments that wouldn't be on offer at a conventional practice, yet it still wasn't enough. And he absolutely knows that I will do anything. He has treated several of my animals and explained that time is much faster for these little guys because of their faster metabolism. He said that the seven weeks for an animal could be a year for a person. My perfect cat was only seven.

I did all I could and so did you. I know that you are reliving past guilts and I do that myself, so shouldn't be giving advice. All I'm saying is that this was one lucky cat. He had you in his life, was given love and a good home and you prevented him from really suffering. All cats should be this fortunate. My thoughts are with you. I know what it's like.;(

I know I would go crazy if I had to put one of mine to sleep. I love all kitties, even if I dont' know them.

It's very very difficult to tell when anyone, feline or human, has cancer. Cats are also very stoic about pain and rarely show any signs of it until a problem is severe. I think it is very unlikely that you could have done anything differently.

Of course, when it's your cat, it's hard to believe that. It's easy for us to doubt ourselves, and to feel that we somehow let our friend down. I think that this is just part of grief. Doesn't make the doubt hurt any less, of course, but it will pass. Try to keep in mind that without you, he would have had none of those years; years that were filled with love, a safe home, human and feline companionship and trust. You made sure that his life was a good life - you did that. The last thing you did for him was one of the hardest things in life, and also one of the kindest and least selfish

I am very sorry about the loss of your friend. Please accept my sympathies.

i'm so sorry for your loss, annabellee. I have a 9 year old chocolate labrador named Kira, and she has some joint problems and is getting older and stuff and it sucks :( . I know that she won't live forever and that she definitely won't outlive me, and I just can't stand the thought of my best friend in the whole world dying. I've never lost a pet dog before. I lost a rabbit 3 or 4 years ago, but it was my sister's. This dog is my dog and when she goes I'll be so depressed. :( . I definitely know how you feel.

I've lost several good friends over the years...I've found some comfort here...

http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm


It can help.

i was just reading those guide links someone posted about Euthanasia and coping with your pet's death, and i was thinking my dog's only 9 and in relatively good health but i don't know how i'm gonna cope with her death :(. so i was reading them and they were sad guides, so then i just started to cry, i cried for like 20 minutes up in my room and then i realized that i needed to see my dog. so i walked downstairs with tears still in my eyes and kira(my dog)knew something was wrong. so she came over to me and i hugged her and i cried into her fur but i still couldn't stop. eventually i did and then i came back up to type this in. i can't really describe the emotions that i felt, but i guess it's just love for her. :(

I had to put 3 cats to sleep in the space of 4 months and I know what you are going through. I also wish I could pet them just one more time.

The loss of an animal family member is always hard, even when we know going into it we'll probably outlive them.

I remember my departed animals as well or better than I remember the departed people, even decades later. Maybe because I was actually closer to the animals, I don't know. May your memories of Arnie bring you comfort.

you gave him a wonderful life.

BIG hugs to you and to Uncle Arnie. ((()))) All my best.

Cat

I do know how you feel. Try not to blame yourself; Arnie was a lucky cat who had a great life.

Animals instinctually hide their illnesses and injuries. Also, with the way cancer manifests in animals, by the time the tumour is large enough to be detectable, it's too late anyway, most of the time. Likely there was nothing you could have done that would have prevented it, which is too bad, but I want to tell you that so you won't spend any more time feeling any worse about it than you have to. A vet friend of ours told my friend Ed that in order to save his beloved dog Max, they would have had to have found the cancer while it was still microscopic, and from what I've heard, it's the same in most cases.

Please don't feel guilty. What you went through, and what Arnie went through, was nothing more than an unavoidable freak accident. Please mourn without getting hung up on the "If only"s and the "Maybe I should have"s.

My condolences.

And on behalf of Uncle Arnie, I'd like to say "Thanks for giving me chance at life."

If you haven't gone there yet, please visit the Rainbow Bridge web site.

http://www.rainbowbridge.com/

It was a great comfort to us when we lost our cat Sweetpea and our dog Cooter.

We went through this about a year ago with my beloved Thomas-O'Mally-Kissie-Kittie.

Don't be surprised if, within the next couple of months, Arnie sends you another kittie. Two months after Thomas died, I was standing in our family room, which overlooks the patio and lo-and-behold I see two bedraggled, starving, ferel, homeless kittens. Their names are Ghost and Sissy and are now the biggest wussy lap kitties you've ever seen. Of course, no kittie will replace Arnie -- they are all unique -- but the love you lavished on Arnie, and he on you, will, in the near future, be lavished on another needy feline that will just "appear" in your life.

I feel your pain, and heartbreak, its been over 6months since I Lost
my "Woos" November 2002 she had a lump on her mouth and I took
her into the vet, and it came back as cancer, she was 16, and
every day after that I spent it with her not knowing how long she
would have, I cancelled my social life to spend all of the hours
with her, then the 12December came and she was too thin, could not
walk, and I knew it was time, I think she even knew, she went downstairs and layed by the door, so I took her to the vet on my
way to work, said my goodbye's and that was it. They called later
and said that everything was peaceful. I dont know how I got thru
the day, let alone the end of the week. There is not a day that
goes by that I dont think about her, she had a special personality.

It will be hard you will probably never get over it, but as they
say life does move on, slowly at first, it is never easy, but
especially after they have gone thru an illness and there is nothing you can do.

In Memory of your Arnie

In Memory of Woos Sept 5th 1986- Dec 12th 2002

There is a bridge connecting Heaven and Earth. It is called the
Rainbow Bridge because of its many colors.
Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge there is a land of meadows, hills, and valleys with lush green grass
When a beloved pet dies, the pet goes to this place.
There is always food and water and warm spring weather.
The old and frail animals are young again.
Those who were maimed are made whole again.
They play all day long.
There is only one thing missing.
They are not with their special person who loved them on Earth.
So each day they run and play until the day comes when one suddenly
stops playing and looks up. The nose twitches. The ears are up.
The eyes are staring. And suddenly this one runs from the group.
YOU have been seen, and when you and your special friend meet, you
take them in your arms and embrace. Your face is kissed again and
again, and you look once more into the eyes of your trusting friend.
Then you cross The Rainbow Bridge together, never again to be separated.

(AU)

My heart goes out to you.

My little boy just turned 10 this year and I start to fear about what might happen in the future.

When ever I hear stories like this, I always give my boy a kiss and thank god he's in my life.

It's the memories that keep us going.

I don't know if you are thinking about it yet, but there are always kittens around to help fill the void. The Humane Society and the ASPCA always have kittens for adoption.

i feel your loss.
you have my sympathy.

being a wonderful Mom and staying with him through the time he needed you the most. I have walked that path more times than I care to remember and, each time, it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

Don't beat yourself up over his cancer -- I have had three cats who had cancer and with each of them it was discovered too late to make any kind of difference. Cats are so strange that way, so often you just can't see anything wrong until they start losing weight or having eating problems, and by then, the illness can be advanced.

Arnie was with you for 12 wonderful years -- we should all be so lucky to have someonw who loves us unconditionally like that in our lives!

theres nothing you could have done - cats cant tell us they have pain - all we can do is guess.

....your message just how much you loved "Uncle Arnie".

I wish I was there to give you a hug!! Maybe this will help from one cat lover to another..... :loveya: Uncle Arnie O8)

:kick: for Arnie!;(

am so sorry that your kitty has passed on...but think of it this way...any kitty that has lived past the age of 12 is one lucky cat indeed! keep your prayers for my kittens...Larry, STella, Bojour, Maynard, Linda...XXXOOO
Jo-lee

Hope all is well.
My cats..
Kahn

Max

Meiko

AnnabelLee is so very dedicated to her furry babies, that I she really deserves this outpouring of sympathy. This is so hard, especially for her.;(

Welcome to DU, notawol, you will find a great many like-minded cat lovers here!:hi:

I know he'll always be with you in heart

Our special feline friends are such treasures -- keep the memory of the happy times you shared with gentle Arnie close to your heart, and you'll always have him right beside you.

My best thoughts are with you --

They never really leave us, and I truly hope that we will be reunited with them again. I couldn't go on without that belief.;(

Please try to hang on to the fact that you gave Arnie a loving home and you did the best you could for him. He knew he was loved and that is what matters most.

I do know that doubt you're having. My kitty died a few years ago. He was 18 and I'd had him since he was about 4 weeks old. He was taken from his mother too soon as well. He was just the sweetest little thing his whole life. Two days before he died he started acting strangely. I didn't know it then but he was having a series of heart attacks. I was distracted by my daily life and didn't take him to the vet. By the time I did, it was too late and the vet said there really wasn't anything they could have done anyway.
I just cried and cried and cried for days into weeks. The what ifs and the shoulda woulda couldas really got to me. It's been 5 years now but I still miss him terribly.

Point is, I don't think you could have done anything differently. You loved him and he loved you. You're now seperated and that's the biggest hurt when you love anyone (human, feline, canine, etc.).
I promise you will get through this.

We waited about six months and went to the humane society. I was actually angry at the "butt ugly" kitten my husband picked out because he wasn't my original buddy. You know what? That "butt ugly" kitten is now my best buddy. He's spoiled rotten and I love him as much as my original kitty. I wish they both could be screaming at me at 4am.

I'm sorry for babbling. I'm just trying to say...I know and please don't let anyone chastise you for feeling sad. You're going to be sad for a long time. I'm here if you need to talk.

I'll be thinking about you and sending good thoughts your way.

Love,
scucci

I am listening to the soft snores of my little abandoned kitty who I brought in from outside. She is sleeping in her little kitty house, snug after eating her dinner. She will never be a lap-cat like my Rhiannon, but she didn't deserve what happened to her and I am just grateful that I was able to bring her in and she is safe.

Thanks for sharing your story, as well. Both of your kitties were so fortunate. It really got to me.;(

You have my condolences.

My ex lost his cat Max a few years ago and was with Max about as long as you were with Arnie.

I know how hard it can be. My advice at times like this is to go out and adopt another cat. Another cat won't replace Arnie but s/he can help heal your loss.

Arnie would want you to help out another cat like you helped him, and let another cat help you as well

that AnnabelLee cares for and has helped. She is truly amazing in her devotion to them. That's one reason that her loss of Arnie is so very sad. They, obviously, shared a special bond.;(

I'm also sorry it took me so long to get to this thread! I thought I had posted.

It is really sad to lose our pets..no less of a loss than any other family member.

Here's a hug (((((((((((HUG))))))))))))

I have two cats, and they are 11 years old. They are brothers. I dread the day that I have to face what you've gone through.

Peace.

and you just have to remember that not only did he bring wonderful things to your life, you brought wonderful things to his. He was such a lucky cat to know that he was loved that like mine in the past, I'm sure he died purring. You'll go on and your memory of him will be less painful after a while, though you'll always love his memory.

Then when you are ready, you will provide a loving home to another very lucky animal. And you will be healed somewhat, and you will know that loving animals with a shorter life span than we have is a bittersweet love.