I don't want a dog but should I just get over it?

My husband and 2 kids have always wanted a dog and my husband is now asking me about getting them one for Christmas.

I was not brought up in a pet-owning family and have no great affinity for pets. I don't hate them, I like some pets that other people own but I just don't want an animal living in the same house with me.

I know this thinking is way out of the norm and I'm trying to get to a place where I can learn to live with a dog because I don't think I'm being fair.

I'm really interested in hearing from anyone that does not like pets but has agreed to accept a pet into their homes for the good of others and how it worked out.

Is it possible that if my husband and kids love the dog that I don't have to? Can a dog deal with that?

with the pooch.....trust me. Maybe even more than the rest of the family.

Many animal rescue groups allow families to take dogs for a two week trial period. This is for the benefit of both the animal and the potential owners. Also, adopting a rescue animal could mean that you won't have the puppy years to contend with (unless you pick a young dog).

Through the same type of rescue group. It gives you a smaller time period, you would be able to adopt the dog if you guys wanted to keep it. On the other hand, if it didn't work out, you just fulfill your committment to keeping the dog until an adoptive home is found and you all learn something.

They're less demanding and more independent. I'm not too much about needy pets so a cat suits me fine.

The mess? The maintenance?

I wouldn't want a monkey to move into my house and see no reason why (in general) a dog would be an improvement.

It's the unpredictability, the mess, the having to worry about one more thing, the financial costs, the fear of it getting sick or hurt, the fear of it turning against one of my kids, the noise, the smell.

I ma not trying to be mean but I don't get attitudes likes yours?. They are living creatures, ready to love---what's so weird about that?

And I am not a doggie-lover----I have cats.

don't get it.

Is it not possible to love living creatures but not want to live with them? Heck, there's a lot of people I wouldn't want to live with - but I still love them.

a pet is like!

You jump in, take the bad with the good, enjoy the unconditional love, the kisses, the poop, some drool now and then, the shedding, and it all works out JUST FINE.

Open your heart and enjoy!

I was neutral about cats--- didn't hate them, didn't like them, just sorta "Oh, a cat *yawn*"--- until I started living with one. It's surprising to me, even today, but the little bugger has sorta grown on me, and I've actually become rather fond of him.

Give it a shot--- you may surprise yourself.

:hi:L

They simply don't care -- and will love you anyway. (That is, as long as you aren't abusive to the dog.)

What type of dog is your husband considering?

harm an animal whether I liked it or not.

fall in love! They can be sort of dumb but trainable and adorable! I would so love to have one if I could. Just make sure hubby intends to stay on top of things.

The dog will like you most...because you will be the one feeding and walking it!

that he won't be able to guarantee how much responsibility the kids will take because of our experience taking care of our fish.

He is very clear about my feelings about getting a dog and has promised that he will take care of it.

Yeah, I know, I'm dreaming.

Find the middle ground. ;)

I'm not a dog person. I find them filthy and clingy. Recently, though, I've found myself living with one.

And you know what? He's a pretty good dog. Cute as a button, very loving. Of course, he's dumb as a bag of rocks, but whatyougonnado? :P

So, I don't clean up after him (that's their job), don't relish in (or really accept) the tongue-baths, don't want him in my chair or on my pillow -- but I like him anyway. Even if you can't have that super-tight bond that some people have with their dogs, you can still have SOME sort of a relationship -- and even if you only enter into that relationship for the sake of others, you'll probably get something out of it as well.

to that if the dog could.;-)

If your husband and children are willing to do ALL the work required in raising a dog, I think it should be ok. My only concern would be that many times kids don't know how much work and responsibility a dog is. It's like having a kid. You need to feed, give fresh water, take to the vet regularly, give medication, clean up the messes, train, play with, socialize with other people and other dogs, curb it if there is no back yard, clean the backyard if there is one...
I know that when I was a young kid and my cousin and I wanted a dog, we said that yes we would take care of it, but in the end, my grandma ended up doing most of the work. But then, we were young kids.
If your husband and kids do the work for a dog, I think it will work out. As long as you don't HATE dogs, or are cruel to the dog, the love from the rest of the family should be adequate. Unless you are the only one home most of the time.

For years, I refused to have a dog in the house. My kids and wife convinced me a couple of times to try. It was a disaster both times.

The problem was the kids always decided what type of dog and where we would get a dog.

My wife finally convinced me to try again, but this time I researched dogs in general and found the types I thought would work well with the household and me in particular.

My wife and I settled on a Shih Tzu. He cost a bundle,(pure breed champion) but I can tell you he is my best buddy and I think of him almost as my kid.

It was worth the time and effort to find the right dog.

I suggest do a little research, because dogs vary greatly in demeanor and needs.

When you find the right one you will know.

be on the top of the list.

We had an Irish Setter and a German Shepherd for a short period of time when I lived at home and I know I wouldn't want either of those.

Thanks for sharing your story.

who has been to 'dogschool.' He is big but very obedient. Loves to swim and chase tennisballs, even in the snow! If you don't have to do ALL the work, you will enjoy having a dog.

That's a major consideration for someone already leary of a dog.

i think the question is more ... can you deal with the fact that you brought a dog into the house? Or, will you be making its life miserable because of you yourself being miserable about having the dog in the house?

i love dogs and have always had dogs... i have, though, never given in to having cats simply because i don't particularly like cats ... especially i haven't particularly liked those litter boxes.

People are either born with the gene or not. Please understand that those with the gene long for animals with all their hearts and feel incomplete without one. The rest of the human race can still enjoy pets. Hopefully you can negotiate with the family so you aren't stuck with all the work and can just enjoy how happy you have made them.

;)

and it will be like being a kid again, only this time with a pet :)

My dogs have been so incredibly loyal over the years. I think you may grow to like a dog.

As far as your question, the dog won't care either way. They will still be that loyal pup.

i would not have one if it wasn't for hers, she pretty much takes care of it, sometime i have to take the dog out or feed and water it, but overall it is a pretty painless experience.

some people get great joy from having an animal in the house, i see it as just more work and money to spend, but she really loves the animal and the dog is kind of funny to me sometimes.

i would make sure to set clear guidelines as to who will take care of the animal and enforce them.

Due to a trauma he suffered as a child. He was actually attacked and bitten by a pack of neighborhood dogs as a child and pretty much banned all pets from the home growing up.

My older sister knew better, and she drug me to the pound on my eleventh birthday to pick out a pup.

The first night with the dog was a screamfest between my older sister (nineteen at the time) and my dad, but he finally agreed to let me keep the dog as long as I was the one taking care of it.

It took my dad about a year to warm up to the dog, and very soon after that, they were inseparable. Copper was the living epitome of unconditional love and wanted nothing more than to be by your side, tail wagging.

Copper lived to the ripe old age of sixteen, and my dad eventually had to have him put down while I was in graduate school. He has his own plot in a pet cemetary, which my dad still visits on occasion.

I'm always in support of rescuing pound puppies (mixed breeds) but i'm not against pure breeds either. Having worked in a pet shop in high school, there are some breeds I wouldn't recommend, and some that I would. Please research the breed you want and make sure it's temperment, activity level and size match your lifestyle.

If you need a quick general recommendation, here's what i'd suggest:

Retrievers (all sorts, golden, labs, etc.) Very intelligent, eager to please dogs that are great with kids).

Poodle mixes (peke-a-poos, cock-a-poos, snicker doodles, etc.). Smaller dogs with happy attitudes. Much more mellow than purebred little dogs (ex: teacup poodles) and good family pets.

The uglies (boxers, boston terriers, pekineese). Yes, smushed faces but they have big hearts. I never met a member of one of those three breeds I didn't like. Avoid pugs (hyper) and bulldogs (lack of brains).

Others: Shelties, shih-tzu (no lhasa-apso's), basinji, greyhounds, newfoundlands (must have big yard) and St. Bernards (again, big yard).

Avoid these:

Most small terrier breeds (very high strung, nippy).
Spaniels (cockers are very nippy, hyper).
Hounds (unless you have a farm or room for a pack of outdoor dogs).
Inbreds (teacup anything).
Sight hounds (dumb dumb dumb).

"The best friend a man has in this world may turn against him and become his enemy. His son and daughter that he has reared with loving care may become ungrateful. Those who are nearest and dearest to us, those whom we trust with our happiness and our good name, may become traitors to their faith. The money that a man has he may lose. It flies away from him when he may need it most. Man's reputation may be sacrificed in a moment of ill considered action. The people who are prone to fall on their knees and do us honor when success is with us may be the first to throw the stone of malice when failure settles its cloud upon our head.

"The one absolutely unselfish friend that man can have in this selfish world, the one that never deserts him, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous, is his DOG. A man's dog stands by him in prosperity and in poverty, in health and in sickness. He will sleep on the cold ground,where the wintry winds blow and the snow drives fiercely, if only he may be near his master's side. He will kiss the hand that has no food to offer, he will lick the wounds and sores that come in encounter with the roughness of the world. He guards the sleep of his pauper master as if he were a prince. When all other friends desert, he remains. When riches take wing and reputation falls to pieces, he is as content in his love as the sun in its journey throught the heavens. If fortune drives the master forth an outcast into the cold, friendless and homeless, the faithful dog asks no higher privilege than that of accompanying him to guard him against danger, and to fight against his enemies. When the last scene of all comes, and death takes his master in its embrace and his body is laid away in the cold ground, no matter if all other friends pursue their way, there by his graveside will the noble dog be found, his head between his paws and his eyes sad, but open in alert watchfulness, faithful and true even to death."

-Senator George Vest, 1870.

I have 6 dogs and the more I know people, the more I love my dogs. In nature, they are the closest thing I have observed that "live righeously."



this is my dog, Kodi.

i've seen this before ... it just gets better and better everytime ...

thanks for posting it ... truer words were never spoken ...

loving, affectionate, playful, well behaved dog I've ever met. He doesn't shed or have a dog odor. The breed is renowned for their temperament. They don't aggravate pet allergies, and they are said to be hard to groom because their hair can grow very long. I keep mine in a short cut and it is no problem at all. The standard is small, 7-9 lbs. Mine is about 4 lbs-the runt. My boyfriend didn't like him at first, because animals are just not his thing. He doesn't baby the dog still, but has come to appreciate this "big dog in a little dog's body". He is so unobtrusive, unlike larger breeds, and not "yippy" like most small breeds. Hugh likes to play with him and train him to do tricks. He is amused now by Poppy instead of repelled. I think this is an excellent breed to consider for someone who has your feelings. If the kids are small, they will have to learn they can't treat this dog as they would a lab. One must be careful not to step on the dog! If you think the kids can appreciate this aspect of the animal, it could be just the right choice for your family. Good luck. :hi:

You'll be surprised. My wife, always a cat owner, started loving our doggie with a week. Never had a dog, ever, and she was 46 was we got our beastie.

They have a way of ingratiating themselves to people and they get very eager to please those they identify as family.

Have no fear. You'll be part of the plan in no time.
The Professor

Beforehand: discuss as a family who is the chief caretaker. Someone always hays to be that. Young children cannot be expected to do much, and an adult has to be concerned about medical care and to supervise, even if the children are old enough to take some responsiblity. Also, decide from the beginning what behavior you will insist on: no jumping, on or off the furniture, begging at the table, etc.

A dog is approsimalely like having a toddler in the house, a toddler who can't speak, but is very capable of doing things you may not want him to do. It is much more time and responsiblity than most people realize. DON"T get a puppy, especially not from a pet store or from the paper.. Pet store pups are like physically and mentally abused children. Newspaper pups are often raised by people who don't know what they are doing.

The kind of dog you get makes a HUGE different in the experience you have with it. I would only get an older dog, preferably through one of the better rescue groups. The dog should have been fostered long enough that they can give you a very good assessment of its temperament, trainability, activity level, care requirements, and suitability for the age of your children, and for novice dog owners. For example, retired greyhounds can be very easy first dogs, but they can never be allowed outside without a leash or in a fenced yard, which is impossible if you have kids. Some terriers are bad choices for kids,. It's worthwhile to do some reading on the differences between breeds, so you will get an idas of what you want.

I would pay the money to have a good dog trainer come to the house when all 4 of you are there, and work with you on training. Training a dog takes firm, but gentle, consistency.. Once a week at first, then as needed if problems develop. Think of it as family therapy.

Finally, if you get a good dog, you will certainly love it soon: it's almost impossible not to love a creature who loves you so unconditionally.

*

I've always had doggies...I luv my three fur babies!

for bringing an animal, especially a young one, into a household. Everyone is stressed, the animal doesn't know the rules of the house or have any manners yet and about 85% of puppies and kittens got for christmas presents end up back in the shelter by Feb.

If your family is adamant, maybe you could compromise...no dog for the holidays but look for one after all the decorations have been taken down and put away and the house is back to almost normal. Then, to help you out, ask them to consider an older dog; breed rescue or shelter adoptee that already has some of the basics. Let's face it, no matter how good they start out, you're the one that's going to end up caring for it. That's life.

Fostering is a good thing, but it's hard when you have children and the time comes to let the animal go.

My husband grew up with no animals. His mother didn't like them and wouldn't have them around. When he came to this country to marry me, I already had a cat. Before I knew it HE was rescuing abandoned kittens...that -I- had to raise. But he did come from almost the same place you are to not being able to imagine a household without animals. Which is why we now have 4 dogs and 6 cats and a vet who adores us. :)

let it inside. Dogs are social animals and they need to be inside with others. If you get a young lab, expect it to chew some things up before it learns not to. You will also have to train it not to jump. The quality of your life and your family's life will improve soooo much with a dog. I can't imagine being without several!!!!

If you don't like animals but they want a pet, get a cat. Dogs ruin everything. They try to eat at the table. They bark whenever someone is at the door and make it hard to get people inside. They need to be taken outside late at night when it's cold so they can go pee. They smell terrible and need to be washed all the time and it's impossible to wash them. They will chew up your shoes and anything else in sight too. Dogs are bad news.

Dogs do need training so they won't do any of the above. Check with your local dog club. They usually have basic obedience classes which start every few weeks. All the negative things said about dogs could be said about kids....but the dogs give so much unconditional love and are kind enough to die before they are teenagers. We have both kids and dogs and feel they enrich our lives beyond any trouble they cause. Excellent book: A Dog Year by Jon Katz

bad owner to me. My dogs don't come in kitchen when I'm cooking, let alone try to eat at the table. I did lose some furniture years ago before I learned that a crate is not a punishment, it is a life saver, for dog and human alike.

Yeah, if they're trained right they'll get you up if they have to go. Much better than the alternative, though.

If they smell it's usually because their companion human is falling down on the job of their grooming. I've got 3 HAIRY dogs that get bathed about twice a year...unless they manage to roll in something disgusting...and they don't smell. (When they do get bathed, they enter the tub on their own, stand while washing and rinsing and wait until the shower curtain is pulled to shake. But you have to be willing to train to get that level of co-operation. Dogs, like babies, are not born knowing the 'rules'.)

Maybe when they're pups yeah but dogs can be easily be trained. They can learn things just as quickly as a small child. I have it where dogs can go in and out as they wish because I have a patio. My dogs don't smell like dogs and they don't need baths really that often. One of my dog had a shoe chewing addiction but in the past 2 years not even a single teeth mark on a pair of shoes.

time and effort into training.

My husband objected strenuously to our second dog and even though he secretly talks to him when he thinks no one else is around and feeds him illegal table scraps, he reminds us of his objections whenever the dense pooch eats shoes or or gets into the garbage. Of our two mutts, the second - a foundling - is the most loving (needy, actually) and stuck to the man like glue. It's like he KNEW this guy could possibly be the end to his newfound good life and he went out of his way to win him over.

the worst thing i see people do is get a dog and then "dump" it when they realize they never should have gotten one in the first place ... so, point one is, if you're going to do it, then do it !!! think about it like adopting a kid ... this is not one of these try before you buy deals ...

secondly, if you are going to get a dog, think through some of the reasons you've been hesitant ... dogs are fantastic family members ... but they can be a lot of work, expense and mess if you don't take care of business ...

with that in mind, if you're worried about "having a dog living in your house", perhaps you need to think about things like shedding, odors, property damage etc ... some dogs will be easier for you than others ... don't just run out on a weekend and let the kids pick "the cute one" ... and whatever you do, don't buy your puppy in a pet store that probably gets it's puppies from a puppy mill ... if you're going to get a purebred dog, check the web to see if they have a national organization (and a website) that can guide you to reputable breeders ...

purebred dogs can cost some serious money ... anywhere from $500 to $1500 ... but they do offer you the advantage of knowing what the dogs' size will likely be and what its temperament will likely be ... for a first timer, those might be good things to know ... and arrange an appointment with a vet for either the day you pick up the puppy or for the next day ... make sure you've purchased a healthy dog ...

you didn't say how old your kids are but many "experts" don't like to place puppies in homes with kids under age 5 or so ... just something to think about ... if you want it to work out, educate yourself first ... and perhaps one of the most important tips: training, training, training ... if you want to have a dog that is a well behaved family member, you just can't do enough training ... puppy kindergarten should be done at about 3 months ... and perhaps a second class at around 9 months ... that's what we did with our remarkable welsh terrier ... she is a joy to live with ...

if you do get a puppy, and actually before you get one, take the time to read a few books on selecting and raising a puppy ... don't just jump in and see what happens ... some basic selection criteria: preferred breed, size, available time to walk and exercise, grooming requirements, energy level, guard dog, watchdog, good with kids, easy to train, special skills (agility, showing, hunting, companion) ... there's a lot to consider ... take your time and forget about Xmas deadlines ... many breeders won't have puppies until the spring ... do your homework first ... make sure you're making the right choice ... many breeds live more than 15 years ... and people who dump their dogs because they are lousy owners or because the dog is "inconvenient" are totally crappy people ...

most dog owners will tell you that their dogs are nicer than most of the people they know ... they are remarkable creatures and those who build real relationships with them are truly blessed ...

hope this helps ...

oh, and you just couldn't go wrong with a welsh terrier !!

You have definitely opened my mind about the idea.

I did find out yesterday that I got a job I applied for working a shift of 4p-1230am. This will be a major adjustment to our family and I don't think it would be wise to introduce a dog into the family just yet.

In addition, I think my husband is overestimating how much my son wants a dog. I need to talk to my son about this because he is the one who will be affected the most by my new schedule (he doesn't like being home alone AT ALL) and I want to make sure that having a dog is something he wants, not another pressure.

BTW for those who asked, my son is 13 and my daughter 15. My daughter loves animals and frequently takes care of our neighbor's pets for the weekend. My son, not so much.

Thanks again.

And I always resented him for that, so when I moved out, the first thing I did as soon as I got to a place that allowed them was get a dog, who proved to be our first child. Now we've made up for it with a vengence, and have three dogs, two bunnies, a cat, two horses and donkey. No Partridge in a Pear Tree though. You don't know what you're missing. except maybe the fur.

hubby just HAD to get a dog

now we have 3! two are mostly "his" but one stole my heart and he's my big bubba boo boo (disgusting huh?)

get a sweet dog and they will become one of the family, you'll love it

if you just tolerate it, the kids and hubby will take up the slack, no worries


here's a pic of my big baby galoot

We adopted her from an ageing relative when she was 6-- 7 years ago. I too was not raised with animals and was somewhat resistant-- thought it would be a lot of work and mess and that she would be needily slobbering all over me.

All I can tell you is that I grew to love her and it broke my heart to put her down. Yes, there were accidents on the living room rug and other assorted hassles. But it's wonderful for children to have a pet-- they were so nurturing with her. She was a beautiful addition to our family and we all loved her so much.

:hug:

I posted a thread about it Thursday before we took her to the vet and DUers were so unbelievably supportive. I really appreciate it.

:hug:

I wouldn't necessarily bank on falling in love with the dog once you get it and having everything turn out "happily ever after." I would strongly recommend fostering a dog first so you can see what the daily reality will be for your family. I'll share our recent experience...

I've never been much of a dog person. I was terrified of them as a child and as an adult I don't mind them, but I can most certainly live without one. My sister and her husband are in the process of moving cross-country and building a house so they asked us if we would take their 3 yr old lab for a few months. My husband and kids have been begging for a dog for a couple of years so I thought this would be a good way to see how well it would work for our family.

We've had the dog for 3 months and will probably have her for another month. She's a wonderful dog and I do love her. She's extremely well trained, not hyper, and we all love her. That said, while I'll be a little sad when she returns to her family and will miss her, I am definitely looking forward to it.

She sheds like crazy. We have tile floors and I sweep up loads of fur every other day. I don't really have the time to be sweeping this often but I can't stand the piles of fur if I don't, but I resent the extra work. As soon as I sweep, the dog walks through the room and I swear the fur just falls off her. The dog stays downstairs (we have two cats and the upstairs is their domain) but the dog fur is everywhere.

My husband is away all day at work and I'm only home on a very part-time basis so the dog spends a lot of time alone. She doesn't seem to mind (my sister & her husband both worked full-time so I guess she's used to it) but I feel strongly that she needs to be walked every night. By the time my husband and I have everything else done that needs to be done for the day, its usually 10:00 before we have time to walk her and honestly the last thing I want to do is walk the dog. I'm exhausted and want to go to bed!

I do notice that the house starts smelling doggy after a week or so. The dog is very clean and someone else might not notice the smell, but I do and I don't like it. We have to be sure to open all the windows and air out the house once a week. I'm no neat freak but as much as I love the dog, she feels like one more chore for me.

I'm so glad we've had the dog for a while because both my husband (who had been really lobbying for a dog) and I have decided we don't want a dog at this point in time. I would have hated to find this out after getting a dog of our own.

He's a very responsible person, and feels overly burdened by pet care. And I guess he's just not crazy about animals (like you he wasn't brought up with pets).

Well, when we met I had a cat. This cat was fine, though she did leave tons of fur around. When she got older she became rather loose with her litterbox habits. Once in while My husband would step in a pile of something nasty and this drove him batshit. It didn't destroy our marriage, but let's just say it wasn't easy till the cat finally met her Maker.

My kids would like a pet, I would like a pet, but the negative vibes that would come off my husband would NOT be worth it.

If you don't like dealing with shit, fur, drool, and eventual death... you might want to put your foot down.