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I Am A HORRIBLE Uncle!!

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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 04:53 PM
Original message
I Am A HORRIBLE Uncle!!
well, actually, i'm a GREAT Uncle, just a HORRIBLE brother! :D

my fundie sister has a 3 year old. this year for xmas, little Mitch is receiving a LOUD, TOY, ELECTRIC GUITAR WITH BUILT IN DRUM SYNTHESIZER!!!

also comes with portable microphone so he can push buttons that play Heavy Metal riffs AND sing as LOUD as he WANTS!!

:bounce:

this thing is SURE to drive her crazy and make him HAPPY AS HELL at the same time! :D

Mrs Matcom thinks i'm being mean.

she is right :P
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 04:55 PM
Response to Original message
1. There was, at one point, a racing board game
where in order to move your pieces, you had to scream as loud as you could into a tube, I wish I'd got one, just so I could save it for the right moment x(
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 04:55 PM
Response to Original message
2. No, you are my hero.
:loveya:
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Not_Giving_Up Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 04:59 PM
Response to Original message
3. My parents bought obnoxious, noisy toys for my kids
when they were little. We'd take them home, but on the next visit to grandma's, we take those toys back...saying that they needed toys to play with there. HA!
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bleedingheart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 04:59 PM
Response to Original message
4. now that is funny...
and I am a mother with young kids...

the loud toys don't bother me at all... I have parental hearing...
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Cuban_Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 05:00 PM
Response to Original message
5. You.... are..... EVIL!!!!!!
LMAO!

:P :yourock: :spank:
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 05:01 PM
Response to Original message
6. Well there is the "alternative" gift
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 05:04 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. some day i'll tell you the story of "Percy"
the doll my mother bought my niece.

short version is:

in the store, "Percy" had a pink diaper. Mom bought it and brought it home. decided to wash the diaper before sending it down. removed diaper. "Percy" is actually a male and 100% anatomically CORRECT!

folds, creases, proportioned, etc.... :D

what a fucking HOOT
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jonnyblitz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 05:05 PM
Response to Reply #6
11. holy crap I bought that exact thing as a key-chain in Amsterdam
at "the gay kiosk" for tourists!! if you squeeze it he will say these real cliche gay things in a lilting voice like YO HO HO HONEY! My sister thought it was a riot so I gave it to her..
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 05:16 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. Small world
huh?
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jonnyblitz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 05:32 PM
Response to Reply #13
21. yup
:thumbsup:
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democracyindanger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 05:01 PM
Response to Original message
7. hehe I did the same thing
for the first 5 or 6 years of my nephew's life. Every gift had to meet 1 of 2 criteria: Loud or messy. :D
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MuseRider Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 05:01 PM
Response to Original message
8. You are a terrific Uncle!
That is a really cool toy. I gave stuff like that to my boys because they loved it, you can tune it out eventually but if it drives her crazy then that is also a plus I guess. He will love you for it.
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roguevalley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 05:04 PM
Response to Original message
10. beats the set of drums my sister-in-law gave my nephew. (Pun
intended) :-D
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Gelliebeans Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 05:13 PM
Response to Original message
12. Hell no Matcom
it's just brilliant
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 05:17 PM
Response to Original message
14. I bought a fundie friend's son a cowboy set with a pair of handcuffs...
for his birthday a couple of years ago. All was well until he handcuffed their rottweiller to the wicker settee on the front porch, and the rottie tore through the neighborhood with said settee in tow.

And, by that time, the kid had lost the key to the handcuffs, so dad had to use a hacksaw to sever the dog from the settee. It was a funny sight. Dad, the fundie, cursed like I have never heard a Christian man curse. :evilgrin:
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crispini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 05:31 PM
Response to Reply #14
18. LOL, that's too funny.
I can just see it.
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name not needed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 05:24 PM
Response to Original message
15. Be sure to teach him "Number of the Beast"
I'm sure she'll enjoy that }(
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 05:27 PM
Response to Reply #15
16. right. immediately after
he masters the entire "British Steele" album. Priest comes first you know :D
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 05:32 PM
Response to Reply #16
20. I assume you've completed tailoring his studded leather chaps


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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 05:40 PM
Response to Reply #20
22. fuck YEAH!
bought him a toddler-sized leather riding crop that he can hold in his teeth! :D
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 05:28 PM
Response to Reply #15
17. HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Excellent post! :thumbsup:
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 06:11 PM
Response to Reply #15
24. Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner
he is working on the solo now :D
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amandae Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 05:31 PM
Response to Original message
19. LOL! I can't wait until my niece gets older!
Then I'll be buying her all of that stuff :evilgrin:. People (my brother included) have been buying those things for my kids for years now ... it's payback time!!

Good choice on your gift! :hi:
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mdmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 05:44 PM
Response to Original message
23. a line from Diamond Joe Quimby "Now remember, if anyone asks
your my niece from out of town."

Joe's niece replies, "But I am your niece, Uncle Joe."

Quimby groans, "I'm an abomination."
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Lone_Star_Dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 06:35 PM
Response to Original message
25. It's your job as an Uncle to provide such things.
Just as it's also the job of a Grandparent. I CANNOT wait to torture my daughter once she has a child. :evilgrin:
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 07:38 PM
Response to Reply #25
26. i like your thought process
:D
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