My buddy just bought a new gizmo on Ebay

He told me it's gotta four bolt crank, a radical cam, three on the tree and 20 gigs of memory. Includin' a laser cut lens, 10 mega pixels, half million btu gas stove and a popeil slice and dice. Plus it's gotta fully automated electronics, two outlets, four fundies on a treadmill backup system and fuzzy nuts. Not only that it'll manage a herd of maverick brain cells, milk goats, churn a peat marsh, and blow out candles. And the kicker is that'll process Karl Rove in 0 to 60 on Free Republic, while running on only five packs of GPC's, an 8ball of Rush Limbaugh's crack and a pot of folgers. All it cost him was the bottom of a worn out shoe. Whaddya think?

pssshhhhhh

Gas cost him his passenger. Could no longer stand the stench.

He must be loaded, or have really good crack/tobacco connections!!

"...while running on only five packs of GPC's, an 8ball of Rush Limbaugh's crack and a pot of folgers."

Never run out that way.

the hamsters for the treadmill backup system?

I bet it doesn't. Damnit, there's always something you gots to buy extra.

Plenty willing to carry on.

If it took a hen and a half a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, a monkey with a wooden leg could use that gizmo to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle.

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