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What's your favorite Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, etc. Quote?

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Murphys_Unlawful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 12:25 PM
Original message
What's your favorite Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, etc. Quote?
DOH!
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davidinalameda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 12:26 PM
Response to Original message
1. Eat my shorts!
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fluffernutter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 12:26 PM
Response to Original message
2. "The ironing is delicious"
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ET Awful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 12:27 PM
Response to Original message
3. Way too many to list :)
But Homer's comment in England when he was trying to exit the roundabout was priceless: "It's time to do what Americans do best, act unilaterally!" :)
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sui generis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 12:27 PM
Response to Original message
4. Homer's Dad:
Edited on Wed Jan-05-05 12:29 PM by sui generis
"I used to get by on my looks. Now they're gone...withered away like an old piece of fruit"
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hholli1 Donating Member (60 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 12:28 PM
Response to Original message
5. Maggie.
The episode where she talked is one of my favorites.
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ghostsofgiants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 12:37 PM
Response to Reply #5
8. You mean the one where she says "daddy"? or the one I prefer...
"This is indeed a disturbing universe"?
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Squatch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 12:28 PM
Response to Original message
6. There are just too many...
"No offense, Apu, but when they were handing out religions, you must have been out taking a whiz." -Homer

"Everyone is stupid except me." -Homer

"Let's see here. Caramel, waffle batter, liquid smoke." -Homer makes waffles

Homer: Why do you mock me, o Lord?
Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there. (she scrapes it down with a broom)
Homer: Oh, I know I shouldn't eat thee, but...mmm...sacrilicious.
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Squatch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 12:28 PM
Response to Original message
7. Rappin' Ronnie Reagan
Homer: Don't worry. I brought my Rappin' Ronnie Reagan Tape! It always makes the trip go faster.
Ronnie Reagan Tape: Well, well, well, B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-Well, well, well?
Homer: Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. Ya know something? He did say "Well," a lot!
Ronnie Reagan Tape: Well, well, well, we-we-we-we-we, well, well, well, we-we-we-well, well, well, we-we-we-we-we-well, well, well, we-we-weh.
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EOTE Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 12:40 PM
Response to Original message
9. Homer and Apu...
Homer: Hey Apu, do you have any of that beer with Skittles in it.... Skittlebrau?

Apu: Mr. Simpson, such a beverage does not exist.

Homer: Ok, then I'll just take a six pack and some skittles.
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DelawareValleyDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 12:42 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. Homer and Apu part II
Apu: There isn't enough time to learn over two hundred years of United States History

Homer: Oh, it can't be that many.
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Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 02:57 PM
Response to Reply #11
36. Apu: "Cotton Mather...." *falls asleep*
Edited on Wed Jan-05-05 02:58 PM by Richardo
:D
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Az Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 01:02 PM
Response to Reply #9
14. Someone went and made Skittlebrau
http://www.glossynews.com/artman/publish/skittlebrau.shtml
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Murphys_Unlawful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 12:41 PM
Response to Original message
10. I found this one...
Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.
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pagerbear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 12:46 PM
Response to Original message
12. When driving and almost hitting a woodland animal
Homer: Doh!
Marge: A deer!
Lisa: A female deer!
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Az Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 01:01 PM
Response to Original message
13. Homer
And what he greatly thought, he nobly dared. - Homer 850BC
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dean_dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 01:31 PM
Response to Original message
15. "I call the big one Bitey"
"I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean- S-M-A-R-T!"

"There, there, shut up, boy."

"Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-Leader! Leader!"

"What if we picked the wrong religion? Every Sunday, we're just maing God madder and madder!"

Just got my Simpsons Season 5 DVD's last night. Life is good.
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yardwork Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 01:33 PM
Response to Original message
16. Homer: mmmmmm. Rich, creamery butter......
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Coventina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 01:34 PM
Response to Original message
17. Bart: Ma'am I have been grossly misinformed about witches!
Homer: mmmm....incapacitating.....(after spraying pepper spray on his eggs)

Marge: Homer! Have you been eating that sandwich again?!

Lisa: I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN!!!!
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Murphys_Unlawful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 01:38 PM
Response to Original message
18. Homer: Here's to alcohol...
the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems
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Jessica Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 01:41 PM
Response to Original message
19. Homer singing his goodbye to beer:
"When I was 17,
I drank some very good beer.
I drank some very good beer
I purchased with a fake ID
My name was Brian McGee
I stayed up listening to Queen
When I was 17."
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Murphys_Unlawful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 01:47 PM
Response to Original message
20. Bart: What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog? ....
Looks like he's trying to jump over, but he can't quite make it.
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Zing Zing Zingbah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 01:55 PM
Response to Original message
21. Mmmmm... Donuts.
Or anything else Homer says starting with "Mmmmm".
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fishwax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 02:00 PM
Response to Original message
22. Kids are great, Apu ... you can teach them to like the things
that you like, and hate the things that you hate ... and they practically raise themselves. (Homer)

We often get the "when are you going to have kids" question from family members, so I've found that an unattributed and slightly modified form of the above quote, delivered with all seriousness, helps to derail the conversation.
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Tyrone Slothrop Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 02:02 PM
Response to Original message
23. Grandpa Simpson
"How about giving Honest Abe another turn in the Oval Office?"
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dean_dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 02:04 PM
Response to Original message
24. Ned: "Well, I'd expect this kind of language at Denny's...
Edited on Wed Jan-05-05 02:05 PM by dean_dem
...but not here!"

Homer: "Going to church this morning, Ned? No need, I was up all night working on a flat-tax proposal and I accidentally proved there was no God."

Moe: "Guns are only for home defense, hunting dangerous and delicious animals, and keepin' the King of England out of your face."
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Tafiti Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 02:04 PM
Response to Original message
25. This is easy...
...the episode where Lisa makes a robot for a science project, which will repeat what you say.

<setting: Kitchen table, Marge serves up a healthy breakfast - Homer not happy...>

LISA (whispering): Don't worry, Dad. I'll get us out of this one...
LISA: Say, Dad, would you like to come see my science project?
HOMER (loudly): No. But I sure don't wanna eat this crappy breakfast.

<look at each other, run to the living room...>

HOMER (holding robot): I like beer.
ROBOT: I like beer.
HOMER: Awww, he likes beer.
(pours beer into robots mouth, burns it up)

Instant classic!
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Az Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 02:10 PM
Response to Reply #25
29. In honor of the robot
Edited on Wed Jan-05-05 02:10 PM by Az
I must correct your description. Linguo the robot doesn't repeat what someone says. He corrects their gramar and says what they should have said.

Lisa: If you misuse language, he'll correct you!
Homer: Well, lets put him to the test! Me love beer!
Linguo: I love beer!
Homer: Hey! He loves beer! Here little fellah!
Linguo: ERROR!
Homer: I'm sorry, I thought he was a party robot.

ftp://ftp.smoovenet.com/pub/lardlad/sounds/season12/error4.mp3
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Tafiti Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 02:14 PM
Response to Reply #29
31. Ahh, yes. Sorry.
I haven't the seen the episode in awhile - it's probably been 3 years or more. I don't know why I can't catch it on reruns, but I never see it.

Even funnier, now that it's corrected. Thanks.
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LSdemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 02:05 PM
Response to Original message
26. I love these real lazy Saturdays,
not like that fake Saturday that almost got me fired.
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DeposeTheBoyKing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 02:06 PM
Response to Original message
27. Bart's "Oh my God! The dead have risen and they're voting Republican!"
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Murphys_Unlawful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 02:07 PM
Response to Reply #27
28. Ahhh... good one!
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SouthoftheBorderPaul Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 02:15 PM
Response to Reply #28
32. I may be paraphrasing here but....
"I'm thirsty. Ah, whaddaya gonna do." - Homer
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giant_robot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 02:10 PM
Response to Original message
30. All right, brain.
You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.

And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
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Murphys_Unlawful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 02:32 PM
Response to Original message
33. "I'll ruin you like a Japanese banquet." -George Bush
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Murphys_Unlawful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 02:52 PM
Response to Original message
34. Mmmmmmmmmmm...... Caramel Bologna
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Murphys_Unlawful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 02:56 PM
Response to Original message
35. Homer: I wish I married a businessman....
Then I'd have nice things.
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driver8 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 03:04 PM
Response to Original message
37. Homer: "Fugu me!!!"
Did anyone see the episode where Homer decided he liked sushi and his favorite sushi was the japanese pufferfish? He thought he was poisoned...that one kills me everytime I think of it.

Also,

"Oh sandwich...how could I ever be mad at you."
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Zero Gravitas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 03:14 PM
Response to Original message
38. Ten thousand dollars?
Woo-hoo! I'm a millionaire!

mmmm.... 64 slices of American cheese....
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Murphys_Unlawful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 03:19 PM
Response to Original message
39. Homer: Lisa, if the Bible has taught us anything....
and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as foxy boxing, hot oil wrestling, and such and such.
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noonwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 03:28 PM
Response to Original message
40. "I've always preferred the hands on touch you only get with hired goons"
C. Montgomery Burns.
"No child has ever messed with the Republican Party and lived". I think Sideshow Bob said it.

"Gotta nuke something" Nelson Muntz. Also:

"Joy to the world, the teacher's dead
We barbequed her head.
What happened to her body,
We flushed it down the potty,
And round and round it goes....

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Murphys_Unlawful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-06-05 08:57 AM
Response to Original message
41. Anything that ....
Comic book guy says.
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vi5 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-06-05 09:06 AM
Response to Original message
42. Homer: "If they bible has taught us nothing else (and it hasn't)..
..it's that women should stick to sports they're good at like hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such."

That or "Rock Stars...is there anything they don't know?"

Or when Stephen Hawking is lecturing the town intelligentsia on using their smarts for good rather than evil Homer stands up and says "Yeah, Larry Flynt is right. You guys suck!"
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DelawareValleyDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-06-05 09:12 AM
Response to Original message
43. Some more Homer quotes
"Shut up brain or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip"

"Homer no function beer well without"

(describing operating a firearm) "I got this incredible feeling of power. Like God must feel when he holds a gun"
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Murphys_Unlawful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-06-05 09:13 AM
Response to Original message
44. Homer: "Mmmm, free goo."
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yellowcanine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-06-05 09:56 AM
Response to Original message
45. "Don't have a cow, man."
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