A belated Christmas wish - from Mom

Merry Christmas

Dear Darling Son and That Person You Married, Merry
Christmas to you, and please don't worry. I'm just
fine considering I can't breathe or eat. The
important thing is that you have a nice holiday,
thousands of miles away from your ailing mother.

I've sent along my last ten dollars in this card,
which I hope you'll spend on my grandchildren. God
knows their mother never buys them anything nice. They
look so thin in their pictures, poor babies.
Thank you so much for the birthday flowers, dear boy.
I put them in the freezer so they'll stay fresh for my
grave.

Which reminds me -- we buried Grandma last
week. I know she died years ago, but I got to yearning
for a good funeral so Aunt Berta and I dug her up and
had the services all over again. I would have invited
you, but I know that woman you live with would
have never let you come. I bet she's never even
watched that videotape of my hemorrhoid surgery, has
she?

Well son, it's time for me to crawl off to bed
now. I lost my cane beating off muggers last week, but
don't you worry about me. I'm also getting used to the
cold since they turned my heat off and am
grateful because the frost on my bed numbs the
constant pain. Now don't you even think about sending
any more money, because I know you need it for
those expensive family vacations you take every year.

Give my love to my darling grandbabies and my regards
to whatever-her-name-is -- the one with the black
roots in her hair who stole you screaming from my
bosom. Merry Christmas,.

Love, MOM

Even I think it's funny----sometimes we just can't help ourselves with the guilt thing.

this is not for real, is it?

If it isn't, good joke.

If it is, I'm sorry, and you and yours must dissociate from this evil at once!

I did about twenty years ago - only have seen her once since then - and I've lived relatively peacefully! La Buf is my mom, though, not Hubby's.

...mothers-in-law any son-in-law could wish for. That's correct, two of them. One had passed on five years ago and my other mother-in-law is 91 years young. She still plays baseball with her great-grandchildren.

But I worried for a second! Believe it or not, there are some really mean moms out there - I KNOW.

Anyway, thanks for the yoke.

She'd love it - she's the best mother-in-law anyone could ask for.

That even puts my BITCH M I L to shame!!!!!!!

when I get married. I can see it now. She's not too far off already.

...murder for a son to commit and should be avoided if at all possible (source: the investigative psychologist in the original movie "Psycho"):spank: