I watched old videotapes of my kid for 3 1/2 hours last night.

She's 10 now and asked if we could watch them together. I had totally forgotten about them. I had also apparently totally forgotten what she was like at 4, 3, 2, 1. (Funniest thing we saw is something I never noticed I taped: she and my husband tackling and tickling each other for a good twenty minutes, wearing each other out, and then next thing on the tape is her coming out of her bathroom, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand saying very matter-of-factly, "I had a little throw up in my mouth." LMAO!)

How bittersweet. I kept looking over at the gangly, long-legged kid sitting beside me thinking "When did she become like THIS?"

What sweet, simple days those were. She was thrilled if I handed her an animal cracker, or if she was allowed to play on her swingset, or if she got her shoes on the right feet!

I don't know how I'm going to handle this growing up and going away stuff. It's really hitting me now.

:cry:

I miss those myself. Our sweet child turned into a terror at 12 and she is just settling down at 16. I don't know why she did but enjoy those moments while you can

I am scared. :scared:

Although, like the husband said last night, if you've done a fairly good job before they hit their teens and you are close to them, it should be TOO rough. A terror I can deal with (I love teenagers) anything beyond "normal" stuff, yikes.

she became very disrespectfull and wasn't treated that way by us. I wasn't prepared and it was HELL for a while. Just be prepared for the worsed and hope for the best. Prayers hun, you may need them. Remember, this too will pass.......

I work with teenagers (my job) so I'm around them all the time.

But that's not to say I'll LIKE it.

believe me. Triazadone has gotten me through

It's all about letting go, from the actual act of giving birth onwards.

The thing which can't be taken away is the memories which you have, these should be treasured.

is that I remembered, watching those tapes, that I used to just wish the days away. I thought having a very young kid was hard. And to be fair, we were both working full-time at extremely demanding jobs, we were exhausted, had no social life, etc.

But now I wish I hadn't wished them away so much.

Yes. Great irony, you're right.

My oldest just turned nine. I remember how simple things used to be.

I wrote this the other day about him growing up.

Nathan was in the shower last night. I needed to grab a washcloth so I grabbed the doorknob to walk in and was surprised to find the door locked. I asked Nathan if I could come in and he says "No, I'm taking a shower." I guess here come the first tip toe steps in to adolecence. While outwardly I rejoice at the independent person he's becoming, a secret part of myself longs for the days when no part of him was denied to me. I love this kid so much, and have watched in amazement as he's grown from this perfect bundle that fits in the crook of my arm, to this young man almost as tall as I am. I miss that infant who delighted in me blowing bubbles on his toes and rubbing lotion on his belly. I miss that he denied nothing of himself to me, and kept no secrets. What day was it in the not so distant past that I could have asked to rub lotion on his tummy and not had my request denied? How did I let that day slip away unnoticed. Now there's this young man, aware that he is an independent person. I'm dazzled by that past of dependence and connection, I'm dazzled by the amazing person I see him becoming. It's here in the present that my heart breaks between the two.

It's definately bittersweet. :( :)

:cry: