If you could apologize to one kid you picked on . . .

. . . when you were a kid, who would it be?

I would seek out Teresa. She moved to So. Cali. from some southern state when I was in the 8th grade. She was teased mercilessly because of her accent. We called her "Per-SAY-ent" because of the way she pronounced "percent." The torment didn't end there.

Thirty years later, I'm still ashamed that I picked on her, ashamed that I allowed myself to be a sheep and follow the flock like that.

Who would you make amends to?

She was undressing and was clearly pregnant. A bunch of girls were making fun of her and she started to cry. I didn't tell them to STFU and have regretted it ever since. I just walked away. :(

who got her first period whiLe in the shower. her mother was a Looney, and never taught her about her body, so she thought she was bLeeding to death (or something). aLL the girLs Laughed at her and began throwing sanitary napkins and tampons at her whiLe chanting, "PLUG IT UP! PLUG IT UP! PLUG IT UP!"

man, everyone picked on that poor girL. they even set her up to be prom queen... onLy to dump pig's bLood on her during her big moment.

i wonder what happened to her?

were electrocuted and burned. I wouldn't worry, I bet she is doing fine.

Her name was..... Ummmmmm.... Don't tell me....

Mary? Nope, not that's not it.

Terry? That's not it either.

Jeri? Sounded somethin' like that...

Ahhh. I forgot. That was a long time ago.

And why was I the only person at our 25 year class reunion?!?!?!?!?

about him at lunch. The prick went in the bathroom and I called him out and said -
"you say something?"
He said, "not about you, it was him."
I said "you have a problem with him, you have a problem with me."
He apologized & left.

My friend was touched (as touched as 16 yo male can be)

That felt good.

I was too busy fighting with my sisters. there were 5 of us and in my house you could only manage to get along with half of them at one time. There was always someone at home to pick on.

I did get picked on quite a lot, maybe that's why I never did it to others.

I am the youngest of 3 girls - my sisters and I fought all the time over clothes, makeup, etc. No energy left to pick on anyone at school!

aLthough on a few occasions that i wasn't i gratefuLLy jumped on the bandwagon (hey, i was thriLLed i wasn't getting beat up).

i'd say this kid gary - he had such an abusive father and a trashy mother, that nobody needed to add to it.

And I would welcome an apology from any of the 'in crowd' asswads who used to pick on me for being chubby and nerdy, shy and too smart, except that they're probably all fat, illiterate, redneck bowhogs several times divorced or separated from bad relationships still stuck up in northeastern Wisconsin who probably can't read or operate a PC.


:silly:

I treated this kid pretty poorly. He was a quiet bookworm who wore glasses and had some bad acne (never a good combo in grade 7). Anyhoo, the whole class was wretched to him and teased him constantly. He snapped one day and threatened a number of students with a knife. He was expelled and I never saw him again but I feel that he wasn't necessarily dangerous, but rather he felt that he couldn't defend himself any other way against the students. Last I heard he was taking engineering at university, so he obviously survived adolescence.

if they tried to apologize to me today would be told to go f*&^ themselves. Sorry, but some of the shit I had to put up with I won't forgive.

I neither want nor need their apology. They were assholes then and I have no doubt they are assholes now.

:evilgrin:

I was more often the pickee, and I feel that way too about certain people. A few others I ran into occasionally while visiting home on college breaks, and actually became civil with (never quite friends, but acquaintances).

Others I don't hold anything against them, because I came to the conclusion that the attitude was damaging to myself and had no effect on them. It helps that I went out of state for college and now have only the rarest reason to go back there, though. I've known people who stuck around town and still are subject to the same patterns, more or less, since the jerks in high school grew up to take over their fathers car dealership or bank or dental practice, thus ensuring another generation of overbearing snobs.

Horribly picked on...

If any of you are reading this, bite my ass you sick fucks.

I don't need to worry about apologies; I was pretty well on the bottom of the pecking order.

:kick:

On one of the Discovery Channels, I believe. It was fascinating and very educational. Showed both sides of the spectrum and how things were dealt with. In the end it showed a school in KC, MO and how they were dealing with it - an excellent example.

When I was 15 and my brother was 11 I suggested that we stop picking on each other and getting into fights. He agreed, and we haven't had even the slightest conflict since then. (I'll be 47 in three weeks.)

In high school, we would sit outside during lunch, and he'd always come around to readjust his bike lock.

I think he just liked the attention, because I saw him the next year at his work, and he was all friendly to me.

:shrug:

As I said yesterday on here, I was the shrimp of the class, so people tried to pick on me. My attitude was "fuck you" from the get go.
If I ever seen anyone getting picked on I would step in and tell them to back off. I hated seeing that and it made me sad when I did see it. I'm not talking about a "jock" picking on a "burnout" or anything like that. It was the kids that got it too much that I hated seeing. To this day I still feel bad for people like that. I mean..I feel bad watching those people on the American Idol tryouts who suck and think they are good and get ragged on. I'm a sap..LOL

and I would most certainly welcome an apology from the asswipes who did it.

Maybe she did, but probably no more than anyone else, in hindsight.

Janice, had a problem with B.O. and there were alot of us who tormented her with cans of Air Freshiner...
Cheryl, small petite girl, just cause she was smaller...boy I really have to hate myself for how we treated some of our "Friends"...
James, really loved the Fonz (even dressed like him)and we made his life misurable...Later in our lives.. my mom actually worked with him...I told her to say sorry for what the kids put him through and he said he was sorry back to me as I was very Big Breasted in Elementary and was taunted myself by many...including him..although I don't recall him specifically doing any of the taunting to me....

I want to formally apologize to anyone that I may have offended and hurt as a child and youth...I am truly sorry!!!

Helen T. from New Westminster schools - Spencer Elementary and New West Secondary School....

Believe it or not, there are cliques within cliques. I was never into the really popular groups - I had my group of friends and that was that. I just happened to be good at the physical and dancing aspects of the activities. On the other end of the spectrum was a group of girls that picked on me just because I was a cheerleader/pommie. It may sound absurd, but it was a pain. I've never been a fighter and they harassed me on a regular basis until it escalated to the point I finaly ratted them out. That was the end of it.

The only person I can recall picking on was once in 3rd grade I commented out loud at the lunch table that a girl was fat. My teacher let me have it. I felt terrible and apologized but I've always remembered it.

...I attended 7th grade, for a brief time, at Northside Jr. High School in Roanoke, VA, before moving to Florida (we left the exact same day that John Lennon was shot). I was 11 at the time, and one year ahead in school. I attended a couple of classes, including Phys. Ed., with this kid who was only 10 and who must have had a 150 IQ if not even higher. I will never forget this one shirt he wore that had little planets and comets and stuff on it because I was just discovering sci-fi and thought it looked cool as hell, even if geekish.

We had Phys. Ed. together during the last period of the day, and it was common for us all to want to shower and dress as quickly as possible, then gather up our belongings and wait at the locker room exit for the final bell so we could run to our buses and go home. One afternoon, everyone decided to all-out stampede out of the locker room and in doing so they knocked this poor kid over and literally trampled him. I was at the back of the crowd, witnessed this horrible thing and just freaked out. Our teacher, who IMO was a bit of an asshole, was nowhere to be seen. I remember so vividly how this poor kid started to cry afterwards, and that one of the lenses popped out of his glasses when they fell off his face.

I stayed behind with him just long enough to ask if he was okay and make sure he wasn't seriously hurt. I have always regretted that I didn't stay with him long enough to escort him to the office and report the incident. I had a chance to be a much-needed friend to him but instead I just went my own way. All I know is that for the final couple of weeks before I moved from there, I hated that teacher and most of my fellow students with a passion that has been matched only a few times since.

Damn, I didn't think my response was gonna be so long. Sorry 'bout that. :(

As the nerdy unathletic math/science/computer geek until I started lifting weights and became the third biggest guy in my class and actually went out for wrestling. I also really started "bullying back" any tormentors with my intellect and humor. There were actually students in my classes (who were popular) that wanted everyone to not do so well on tests so as to not ruin the curves, and they stopped asking me to do it when I made fun of them and apologized for their impending bad grades. Once when it was a football player, I added on, "At least you have your football successess... Oh, wait... We haven't had a winning season for over a decade now. Oh, well. Sucks to be you."

It got to the point where underclassmen nerds actually held me up as someone to be admired (found that out years later in college).

Since then I've pretty much left high school behind except for my two best friends, who I keep in regular contact with. Hardly anyone else was worth knowing in my opinion. I did drop by my class's five year reunion (don't know why we had a five-year) because I was in the area visiting my mom and after subtly mocking people for a while, I left and since then have little or no contact with any former classmates, a lot of whom are still in that little farming town in Kansas, having stayed there or moved back there after finding out how different the real world is compared to when they were Mr. and Ms. Cool in high school. They're trying to hang on to their "glory days" so to speak.

TlalocW

I didn't really harass/antagonize this kid but I essentially backstabbed him which is even worse. He was the type of guy who got picked on/shunned a lot: glasses, weird voice, feet turned out like a duck. But he was very smart, and a very interesting person to talk to. In third grade when he moved to the school I went to I became the only friend he had. I could do this without getting picked on/ shunned by everyone else because back then I was one of those kids who was friends with the nerds and the "cool" kids and still accepted O.K. for it.

Well, sometime towards the end of fourth grade, when early puberty gets going I guess and kids start acting weird, I decided that to keep my "cool" friends I couldn't hang out with Michael anymore. So I just stopped: stopped sitting with him at lunch, stopped talking to him other than polite "how are you doing?" conversation, even joked about him to some of my "cool" friends when they would make fun of him. It was like I went through some sort of Jekyll-Hyde transformation. He didn't know what to think I guess; I could tell what I did to him hurt him, but he took it well and had made some other friends outside of school and a few from other classes in school so he just started spending his time with them.

I don't really know what came over me at that age. At most other times in my life I have been the guy who made friends with the "dorks", "nerds", etc. if I saw them by themselves, and never cared what anyone else thought of me. They are some of the most interesting, and more often than not, some of the nicest kids out there. But for these few months at the end of fourth grade/beginning of fifth grade I just decided to become an extreme prick. What I did to Michael is honestly in the Top Five of, if not the biggest, regret(s) I have about life. I just feel very ashamed about it. In the middle of fifth grade, a little before I heard he was going to be moving away again, I started being nice and treating him like a human again, and he was nice back to me and we started having conversations again but I could tell he was (understandably) keeping his distance from me on some level. I was glad that I at least demonstrated to him that I wasn't going to be a jerk anymore, that whatever I had been going through was out of me now; but I never apologized, which is the part I will regret for the rest of my life.

Interestingly, the only other guy I know of that I picked on in school (fifth grade again) ended up being my best friend in high school.

during 4th grade, in Hale Kula Elementary School at Schofield Brks, Oahu. (I entered 1/2 way through 4th grade, left 1/2 way through 5th--ah, the joys of military life)

There was a girl in a higher grade, she must have been a 6th grader...curly brown hair, somewhat stocky build, caucasian.

The school was an "inside-out" school with open hallways and an open cafeteria space. Whenever she'd go into the cafeteria to find a seat to eat, at least 3-4 tables (equalling about 50+ students) would scream and run away, leaving her to sit alone. I'm not talking about one or two students, but whole crowds of students.

I always was shocked when it happened, and never knew why. I remember feeling horrible for her ( I was going through my own hell at the time)--nowadays, I often wonder what happened to her--what she must be going through-- I mean this happened all the time-- it was sick, pure and simple.

I grew up in an apartment complex that was almost all Mexican, surrounded by big houses full of rich white people in the Chicago suburbs. By the time I was in grade-school, I had learned a bit of racism. Some of it came, sadly, from my parents, who were trying to differentiate themselves from the other poverty-stricken people around them. And some of it came from me for the same reason, wanting to identify with the rich white kids with the Brady Bunch lives.

Dolores was a very sweet and friendly Mexican girl, and I used to pick on her a lot, using many racial slurs. She always responded by being extra nice to me.

One day, someone in her family died and she asked me if I would go to the funeral with her. What a wise, smart, kind, big-hearted, wonderful girl. At the funeral, I met her whole family. I was brought right into the community for one of the most sad and important days of their lives. I learned. Delores showed me. She taught me how wrong it was to judge people based on race. I'm so glad she was there to teach me this while I was still very young.

But even though I stopped picking on her, I never really told her what she'd done for me, or thanked her. And I moved away before I got a chance to find words to express my gratitude for the great gift she gave me.

I hope she's well and happy wherever she is. What an amazing little girl she was.

I was picked on mercilessly throughout middle school and junior high. I was a jock who didn't fit in with the jocks because I was also in the gifted class and in chorus and band. Plus, though I had grown up in the same town as all of my peers, I had spent a great deal of time in Toronto and didn't have a flat Rochester, NY accent. And my mom was very much against blindly following trends, so I never wore the right brand name clothes.

Sadly, when you're picked on and miserable, it's somewhat of a relief to find someone you perceive to be even worse off than you. I found this in Noelle Fronefeld. She was on my basketball team in 7th grade. She was not too bright, and had long, stringy, greasy hair. To show you all just what a geek I was, my form of torment for her was to sing the Fats Waller song "Fat and Greasy" to her as we stood in line for lay-ups.

I have felt guilty for 20 years. I have tried to find her online. I see someone at least once a year who reminds me of her.

Even then I didn't think he was bothered by it, the first I knew was when the Head of Year dragged me into her office for a bollocking. That was in the 3rd form (age 13) by the end of my time at school we were good friends.

Yikes that makes me sounds like a nice person, I'm really not, it's just I'm more into hypocritical bitching behind people's back; even better when there's open warfare between two people who always cover it up with pleasantries.

Dammit! :grr:

Bitter? Nah... ;-)

Cynthia, who had to wear these ugly orthopedic shoes in high school and, Kim, a girl whose parents were getting a divorce.

Looking back I can't believe what a big drama that divorce became: "<Gasp> Her parents are getting a DIVORCE and her Dad is moving OUT!"

Extremely effeminate kid in 9th grade. I don't think I ever really picked on him directly, I was just one of the grinning morons in the crowd. I remember when a bunch of tough-guys made him kiss their asses (literally) in the locker room. I feel crappy just thinking about it.

apologizing to me. But you know what? I have grown up to be an interesting, funny, deep, well-travelled, successful, well-read, vibrant person. So, nyah nyah nyah to you bunch of inbred popular people. :7

Mrs. Kelly, if you are on DU, I am so sorry for acting like a jerk in class. I guess I took the teenage rebellion thing to far, and if I made your life a living hell, I sincerely apologize.

Think about what the party is (supposed) to stand for. Standing up for those who can't stand up for themselves. Putting the bullies who pick on those that are weaker in their place. Pushing aside the lies so those wanting to believe is SOMETHING at least don't believe in falsities.

Deema, in high school. She wasn't particularly nice, in fact she was rather a bully, but the reason they mocked her was over her appearance. It may have been in response to her personality, but I was always uncomfortable with it, particularly since I was made fun of because of my appearance at that age.

Edited for removal of Deema's last name.

I am really sorry you had to suffer explosive diarrhea on the 2.5-hour bus trip to the state cross country meet. I am really sorry you were so sick, you couldn't run in the race, even though you were our top competers. I am sorry for the shit stains you had to display on your uniforms throughout the day, and I am REALLY sorry about the smell on the bus ride home. I am sorry one of you collapsed from severe dehydration, and had to be rushed to the hospital, at great cost to your family.

But, in my own defense, I never ASKED you to steal food and CDs out of my backpack all year long. You took the brownies unbidden.

:evilgrin:

However, I would like to apologize to Robin for giving her a playful shove on the concrete bleachers at the 8th grade basketball game and watching her tumble down the steps. I've always felt bad about that, and the memory always returns when I'm refreshing myself on intentional torts!

to replace what they broke through carelessness:

I am really sorry about whipping up that batch of nitrogen tri-iodide and leaving it to dry in a watch glass in the center of your glassware drawer the night before the last day of class.

I am really sorry it detonated with such brisiance that it shattered about $300 worth of glassware in your drawer, and caused about $500 of damage to the drawer itself.

I am really sorry that the teacher assumed you were to blame, since he overheard you, just the week before, talking about making it, and putting it in my friend Jim's locker.

I am really sorry that, on top of getting suspended for what you did to Jim, you had to pay for all the damage *I* caused to your drawer and glassware.

I am also really, really sorry for Steve, since your buddies turned on you and falsely admitted that *YOU* mixed up that batch of explosive, resulting in your expulsion and subsequent legal troubles when the school decided to press charges for it. Despite the years of abuse you heaped on me, you didn't deserve that.

:evilgrin:

Strangest most akward kid ever (grade 8)....Through my own fault I ended up sharing lockers with him. The guy was beaten in some way every day. And I never did a thing to stop it. I even manhandled him once myself.
IN highschool I was nice to him though.

7th and 8th grades were the worst years of my life due to the torment I had to live with. It was hideous.

So no apology will be forthcoming.

while you were taking a shower. I am sorry I drenched all your clothes and shoes, and even your towel. I am sorry your mother had to come to school to bring you fresh clothes, and that EVERYBODY heard about how somebody pissed in your locker. I am sorry for all the teasing you had to endure for the rest of the year.

I'm really sorry for all that, but honestly: after the ferocious beating you gave me a month before, with the damage you caused to my kidney, I was having some lingering "urgent urination" problems. Your locker was between me and the toilet, and I probably would have made it, had you not felt like you had to torture me that day.

I picked on one kid (I was mostly picked on, so one person ended up with the brunt of my frustration)... It eventually came to eat me up, so when I was about 25, I looked him up in the book. Just said I was sorry for giving him a hard time & wished him well in life.

I was amazed to hear at our 10-year reunion that you'd become an alcoholic, been arrested for DWI, never held anything other than transient, menial jobs, and still lived with your parents.

I guess a felony conviction for attempted arson (from the exploding chemlab incident in 11th grade), and having your college fund drained for your legal defence and restitution really didn't help your chances of getting into college.

It's too bad, really... you were a relatively smart kid, and probably would have done well at the engineering college you had been talking about applying to.

I'm sorry you were framed for the arson thing. Your only real mistake was picking the wrong fucking geek to bully throughout junior high and high school.

And now, the statute of limitations has long since expired on anything I did to you to retaliate, so I'm sorry you can't even seek justice for what I did to you!

:evilgrin:

See, your mom asked me to make that phone call cause you were getting so lonely in the slammer. She said you still didn't have any friends & thought maybe I could reach you.

It's cool though... we'll take this shit up when you get released next year.

Besides, I'm doing great. I got out of my folks basement last week & moved into my own place. I even got a night shift job cleaning out chicken coups at the local poultry farm so screw you.

So sorry you had to write your letter on prison stationary but life sucks like that. Ha. Ha. :P

I was so nasty to him for a while. I have apologised, but I still feel guilty about it.