Top Ten Signs Your Neighbor Is Vying To Be The Next Pope

10. Often stops at Costco to buy communal wafers in bulk.

9. Book on his coffee table: "How to turn your Ford Focus into a popemobile."

8. He asks if you want to go giant hat shopping.

7. You ask how he's feeling and he replies, "Oh, quite Popey, thank you!"

6. The son-of-a-bitch keeps hitting on your wife in Latin.

5. Refers to his studio apartment as the "Little Vatican".

4. His name is Kenny, but he asks you to call him John Paul.

3. Regularly offers to baptize you with the garden hose.

2. Short on money, he just made the Domino's kid a saint.

1. Threatens to send you to hell if your dog craps on his lawn again.

Top Ten Signs Your Boss Is Spying On You
1. The fax machine just coughed.

http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/top_ten/archive/ls_topten_archive_January2005.shtml