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I have a bad habit of setting my heart on women who are already taken

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Wetzelbill Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-02-03 06:19 PM
Original message
I have a bad habit of setting my heart on women who are already taken
There is this girl I've wanted for the last year and a half and I flirt with her constantly. Over e-mail, on the phone, in person etc. She was taken when I first met her, than last year she went to Costa Rica for a semester so I haven't saw her for awhile. Today, we met up for coffee and so forth and halfway through our conversation she starts telling me she's flying out this weekend to meet up with her boyfriend she met in Costa Rica. Damn. I have a way of being a day late and a dollar short. Forever it seems like. Well, I wonder what that one little writer chick I have a thing for is doing nowadays? Just speculating..... :) Actually, I'm not too broken-hearted. I realized today that the 1st girl and I don't have any chemistry at all. Psh, women. Why do you all have to work your evil powers on me? It's not fair.
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SingSong Donating Member (119 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-02-03 06:23 PM
Response to Original message
1. My first thought was
that if someone's taken, don't flirt. Have respect.

Then I thought, well, if she is open to it, maybe she's not that happy with the relationship?

An ethical dilemma of mammoth proportions.
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Wetzelbill Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-02-03 06:33 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. Didn't know she was taken at first
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radwriter0555 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-02-03 06:49 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. You knew. People who are unavailable provide ample signals
that they're unavailable.

You suspected it.... and then confirmed it.

Besides, you said yourself you have a habit of, etc... Learn from your own behavior.
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radwriter0555 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-02-03 06:29 PM
Response to Original message
2. Choosing women to "flirt" with who aren't emotionally available
is the problem.

Once they're available, you're not interested.

Becomes a bit of a vicious circle... Might want to look into that.


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bleedingheart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-02-03 06:50 PM
Response to Original message
5. Be courageous and pursue her anyways...that is how my husband
caught me.

I was dating someone seriously and my future husband wooed me from the sidelines with his kindness and the friendship that developed between us.....I broke up with the other fellow... and two days later asked my husband on our first date (Pitt Homecoming Game) a year later we were married.... On the eighth of October we will celebrate our ninth wedding anniversary...
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-02-03 07:55 PM
Response to Original message
6. honey, it's called SABOTAGE
and it's very common amongst those of us who have a deep-seated fear of commitment.
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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-02-03 08:21 PM
Response to Original message
7. I feel your pain.
I have a thing for falling in love with women who are terminally heterosexual. IT's a curse.
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