Male genes

So.....I have a couple of questions straight out of my continued exasperation with the male of the species.

1) WHY, oh why, can't men ask for directions? It makes me so damned frustrated to be driving around in circles instead of asking even one single person where the hell something is!!!!

2) And in follow-up to that, why the hell do some men insist on taking the most convoluted route to a destination instead of the most direct and economical way instead? It drives me batty to have to waste any more time on the road than is absolutely necessary!!!

3) Men and mechanical devices. Aaaargh! Why is it that men have this hubris about knowing how to operate mechanical devices when in fact, they will often tear something completely apart and NEVER be able to put it back together? This goes for almost ALL men and almost ALL projects, be it plumbing, home DIY, even VCRs, or even can openers!!

4) Craft stores. A friend took me shopping at a JoAnn's Fabrics once upon a time, and the first words out of his mouth upon entering the store were "How about them Patriots?" trying to keep his macho image alive. He actually seemed threatened to be in a craft and fabric store! Interestingly enough, the cashier said that men made up at least half of the store's regular customers. WTF? Why does the denial gene seem to pop up so often under these conditions?

5) Forgetfulness. Why is it, when we all know that most men don't necessarily have a lot on their minds, that they seem to lose all sense of knowledge of dates, of simple courtesies like a phone call when they're running late, of calling to see how you are, or simply to say "hello?"

Men are among the most frustrating creatures on the face of planet earth. I really think we need to have a manual to understand them and their quirks.

why can't they be straightforward and easily understood, like women? :P

#3 For instance my husband can take anything apart -- FIX IT -- and then put it all back together. What ever he takes apart works better than before. He's being doing this since he was 8.

#4 Craft stores -- he knows there are all sorts of useful things hidden in crafts stores. JoAnn's is where he went to get the vacuum attachments to clean the computer. Plus he goes for other items -- he walked through the store and has a good memory for odds and ends for repairs etc. He even got my coupon validated for me.

#5 -- He remembers dates -- birthdays, anniversaries -- of his family and ours and mine. He's better than I am on these details.

#1 -- I will have to concede to you on this point -- he does NOT ask for directions. One time we drove around Boston for hours because he was using a 20 year old map and would NOT stop and ask directions.

But this is why GPS was invented -- for men who will NOT ask for directions. And then Map Quest and the other Internet services that give detailed directions and you can print out maps -- these are there because men won't ask humans for directions. Once I taught my husband the fun of printing out detailed maps -- he understood the value of asking a computer for directions.

I've been in situations where I was ready to roll down the window myself and yell out a question at the nearest passerby as we went past at 40 MPH.

No man has ever been able to give me a satisfactory explanation for that reluctance to ask directions. It has to be something primeval, left over on an early Cro-Magnon segment of the Y chromosome.

Really, guys, this is not the Stone Age, and we will not respect you any less for not being able to track antelope to the water hole.

In fact, if you stop and ask directions, we are more likely to think that you are an exceptionally wonderful man who has a strong enough ego to admit it when he needs help.

1) It's the ingrained sense that a man must always be in control. Admitting one is lost and not being able to find his way out would be a blow to a man's ego. (In actuality I don't know why some men fail to ask for directions. I do it all the time being a trucker and all.)

2) We like to drive.

3) Mechanical ability = manliness.

4) I don't go to craft stores because I have no interest in them and find them boring.

5) I forgot.

1. I am female. I rarely ask for directions. I would rather keep driving than stop somewhere.

2. I've never known anyone, male or female, who took long and winding routes rather than quick ones but I will say that if I'm traveling somewhere and know that I'll be in stop and go traffic, I will take a back route that may take ten minutes longer but will keep me moving. Better for my car AND my sanity.

3. I used to date a guy who unabashedly told me he had never even changed a tire in his entire life. I, on the other hand, can change tires, do oil changes and effect simple repairs on my vehicles. Most of the guys I know who claim to know how to fix things, actually can.

4. Nonsense. I don't know how old your friend was but he sounds like he was about 12.

5. In my relationship, my hubby will ALWAYS call if he's running late - I, on the other hand, often get sidetracked and forget to do so. It has to do with our level of independence - I've been alone for a long time and haven't had to think about another's feelings while he is more attuned to that.

I hate generalizations - they're almost never correct and they assume way too much. If all men were the same, or all women, the world would be a boring place.

1) I don't ask for directions because I don't get lost. Really. I preplan and know where I am going. The few times I didn;t know exactly I have no problem at all asking a local for help.

2) Never heard that one before. I value the price of gas and my time too much to take a poor route.

3) almost ALL men? Maybe a lot of them but almost ALL would seem to imply there are very few men who can fix anything. I know my limitations but I can fix and reassemble anything I set my mind to.

4) Spend a lot of time in craft stores and never concerned by my manhood being at risk. Frankkly I couldn't care less about sports and will not be watching the Super Bowl because I could not care less about football.

5) "when we all know that most men don't necessarily have a lot on their minds"

OK, I was trying to be friendly about this but that line is a bit much. Let's see what do I have on my mind most days.

WIll my business survive.
Will my children survive.
Will the world survive.
Why is there so much hatred in the world.

What's the deal with chicks and shoes?
They can literally waste an entire day trying them on and seem to have this foot fetish thing ala Imelda Marcos. All you really need is a pair of sandals, a pair of tennies and a pair of dress shoes.

Why do chicks insist on wearing skin tight tank tops and then get upset when we fail to look them in the eyes?

Why is it that every time a chick picks out a movie, it always involves two people sitting in a room talking about their emotional problems for an hour and twenty?

Why do all the Chickie magazines have extensive articles on "how to turn your guy on (and variations on the theme)" and then get annoyed when we get horney?

Why is it that my wife can remember every faux pas I have ever made in the last 15 years but can't find her car keys?

Why do chicks, when asked where something is, always answer, "It's in my purse" like we have any idea where said purse resides?

:D

-I don't have a thing with shoes. My mother didn't either. This horrifies my mother-in-law who makes fun of me for wearing tennies too long (until they are worn out) or wearing dress shoes that don't quite go with what I am wearing. I tend to look up at people, not at their feet. Unless they are wearing something very unusual on their feet for the rest of their outfit, I couldn't tell you what shoes they were wearing.
-I rarely wear skin tight tank tops. If I wear anything close to my size, there are many guys who don't look me in the eye because I am thin and have C cup breasts (D cup when I was heavier).
-I pick out other movies too, but I really don't enjoy movies based on mindless violence or which focus around plotting one crime.
-I've always wondered about those articles. I thought that it was more for getting a male friend to want to be your boyfriend. I have never had trouble turning my husband on. Being naked is usually more than enough. I do get upset sometimes though when I just want to be naked, like if I'm warm, and whe really is horny.
-I don't remember every mistake my husband makes but the ones I do are often tied to something else in my mind. As I learned in psychology, we remember things better if they are tied to something else. I don't remember where I put my keys because that has nothing else significant to tie to in my memory.
-I don't know where anything is either. Luckily, my husband usually can find things though.

1. Why can't women say what they freaking mean, rather than making some cryptic incomplete comment that unless deciphered perfectly and integrated into the sum world knowledge to find the intended meaning is the source for an additional argument?

2. Why can't women assemble anything? They are all completely mechanically incompetent and have no common sense. They will move a beat-up $1 screwdriver to use a $100 chisel to open a paint can. They will bypass a stack of hammers to grab a $100 torque wrench to pound a nail into the wall.

3. Why can't women take statements from men at face value? If a guy says that he loves a woman, why does she so insecure that she needs constant reminders? He told her once, if he changed his mind, he would let her know.

4. What are all women totally helpless in dealing with computers? (I'm talking long distance right now helping my mother reinstall her printer drivers after she mangled them somehow - typing this is keeping me sane...) Ask them to open a a menu and click on a choice and they can't do it unless they read every option back to you. They can't simply scan down the list to the choice you mentioned - each item must be read aloud in turn and replied to.




That said, these generalities are BS and do not apply to all women. I have known women that resemble parts of the above, but then my brother doesn't know a torque wrench from a hammer either. Just because you know one person that frustrated you in some manner is not reason to trash a whole gender.

How many table knives do you have with a little twisted notch in the tip?
We have several.
;-)

I have had several butter knives with their main use as flathead screwdrivers. What the heck--I use plasticware 90% of the time for eating, so metal butter knives would go completely to waste otherwise.

1. I usually say what I mean. My husband is more like that than I am, which he did learn from his mother. I am willing to live with whatever consequences there are by anyone taking my words at face value.
2. I can be mechanical but I have to really think about it. I don't really know my tools that well. My father wasn't really that mechanical until I graduated from high school. My evil step father was abusive ("You don't know what a Philip's screw driver is? You wouldn't know your head from a hole in the wall.") when he asked us to learn and help with those sorts of things so I tried to avoid that stuff for a while.
3. Because maybe he just only wants me around because I have sex with him often and make money and do some things around the house and to tick off his mother that and I never felt that my parents loved me either. I think he loves me. I am just insecure some of the time for that reason.
4. I am not that helpless. My husband is a major computer geek though so I let him handle stuff that I can't figure out right away. At work, the computer expert is female.

after we had searched for them for about 4 hours.
What is this paranoid aversion women have to "a place for everything and everything in it's place"?
I rest my case.

How, you may wonder, did her keys wind up in the fridge?
Glad you asked.
We had just come from the grocery and she had the keys in her hand while she opened the fridge to make room for groceries and then the phone rang and she answered it still with the keys in her hand and went back to the still open fridge to make some space while still talking on the phone and since she had the phone in one hand and the keys in the other and she needed at least one hand to move stuff around in the fridge she just put the keys down on a shelf in the fridge and so...

Now...she doesn't KNOW this is what happened, but when we had exhausted ALL of the reasonable possibilities as to where the errant keys might be, I asked her to try and tell me EXACTLY what she had done and what things had happened from the moment she came into the house.

I daresay that after 36 years of marriage I rival Sherlock Holmes in deductive reasoning abilities.
;-)

Around here, I don't try real hard to find the lost items, because if I do find them , I, obviously, was the one that put them there in the first place. The power to rationalize runs deep in the female side of this household.....

But I forget what her reasoning was.
;-)

for wit and sarcasm. I apologize if I offended anyone who thought my "rant" was completely serious. Or perhaps an icon for "tongue-in-cheek?"

Generalizations were not done to make anyone take offense. :)

I can say I'm far more mechanically inclined. Computers are my forte, but I also know how to handle screwdrivers, circular saws, drilling, sanding, building bookcases (I think I was 11 when I made my first one!) and entertainment centers. I had a Havahart trap that needed to be put together, and it took me 5 minutes to figure out what took my friend an hour to look at, but never solve.

I'm not a big fan of shoes, personally, but I know what you mean--what IS it with women and shoes? I actually have a little more than 3 pairs, but several are office shoes, and I've got hiking boots and a couple pair of flip-flops. And it's also not possible to wear my backless glides in 2 feet of snow.

I still think we need a manual. I would think it would get a lot of use. :)

But you know sarcasm doesn't always play well with the written word. There are no body cues and tones of voice to go by so I can understand those that took you the wrong way. I think we are generalization sensitive here at DU which is a good thing, but it often doesn't mesh with humor.

I didn't answer you seriously either. Actually, this 250lb. construction worker is very in touch with my feminine side. I,m the neat freak, I'm the interior decorator, I am the one who loves to cook. I hate professional sports and have to ask my wife (who seems to know everything about sports) any sport related questions. I thought T.O. stood for truth out, not some guy who plays with his balls.

In all, I had a good time with your post but, I don't get much into the whole P.C. thing anyway. People take themselves WAY too seriously and there are more important things like the Fifth Reich to worry about.

Edit for spelling.

I can do some simple work if I have written directions, but unless I've done something before I approach any mechanical operation with a LOT of trepidation. I'm not good with mechanical things and I don't pretend to be. I'd much rather call someone or ask someone else's help if I don't know what to do.

1) To be honest, I know no such man.
2) Some men can navigate. Some can not. Is it any different with women?
3) Again, I know few men, if any, who are like this. Perhaps yours is defective.
4) Are you sure that this is a man? I find that my masculinity is never threatened by such a setting.
5) Again, this applies to women as well.


Certainly, men can be frustrating, but in these ways? I don't see it.


You can try me any time you like, for comparison purposes. I think you will find my tendencies and abilities satisfactory. I am also available for permanent adoption/retention.