Hi. I'm shy. Does anybody want to come over and talk to me?

It's true. I am shy.

And NO this is not a vanity post. And NO this is not a self-pity thread.

(and I guarantee there will be NO paintings and NO pictures of myself)

I just want to talk to you guys... :Shrugs shoulders: ...about anything...

:hi:

Even cooler if you had AIM we could chat . I am PrincessAmbiant .

But thanks. I don't think I've ever conversed with you before. But I'd love to learn more about you.

I think everyone here knows everything there is to know about me.

I am CarolinaPeridot , I am 24 years old , North Carolina resident , studies Political Science , writer / listener of music . I have posted on the DU since October 2003 . And I am shy too , only because I am more of an observer and I like to check out the scenery before I join in the festivities . I am not famous on the DU but I do post whenever I can :)

I am 32 years old, born and raised in Massachusetts: hardly been outside my home State. Artist/ writer...sometimes Photographer.

Thank you so much for sharing...It's so good to meet you.:hi:

:P

:P

:P

How are you this fine Saturday evening ?

:hi:

Just relaxing and kicking back, hoping to make a few new friends.

:hi:

:) Whatcha' listening to at the moment ?

Blond on Blond...

Thanks for asking.

What else do you like to listen to ? O8)

as some people are.

I like music to make me feel something. And I mean, chill my bones, make me shiver.

Argh!

I am at work. I am very busy!;-)

Why are you so shy?


How are you doing today?

I had a great day! It was beautiful here in CT!:hi:

I've always been shy, why, I don't know. What I do know, I've written volumes about.

I'm not far from where you are in Conn. and yes, it's been a beautiful day here too...50 degrees, almost like spring.

Gotta love these January thaws. (despite the fact that it's February).

And I know what you look like b/c you post your pic every day!:P

I was just trying to be silly!:)

Anything huh? Ok. Do you think people are basically good, neutral, or evil? Hey, you never said lite conversation.

You have to define good, neutral, or evil first. Some people just want attention and do bad things to get it. Some people think they are doing good but end up making a mess of everything.

It's a big world...you can't be everything to everybody.

In the ultimate end I'd say people are good, but they do a lot of evil things in order to become good.

see themselves? Even those that do what we may see as evil.

For very little reason except the way I look and my passion for all things tender and kind.

But Damnit! I'm an artist...not a philosopher Jim.

:shrug:

No matter what you suppose others think of your actions I am willing to wager (and I am not a betting person) that you believe your actions to be based on good thinking and compassion as you see it.

What artist is not a philosopher? Hmmm? What philosopher is not an artist?

:hi:

???

It might just be me, I don't know.

I really do love people, and I want to be with people, I just have a hard time talking to people.

I've never been very popular, so I usually have to resort to outrageous stunts in order to get anyones attention.

It hurts, but I keep trying!:hi:

You didn't answer my other question. :cry:

I was just trying to reply to some of the people I don't know as well first...

You know I love you kid.

OK. :D

:hi:

Art is one of my favorite subjects.

I'm not really into music, but I love Bob Dylan. (and even got a Bob Dylan Group started here on DU)...

Of course there's writing and photography...

I suppose we could talk about just about anything...

So do literature in general, and politics. I'm Tony, btw...

:)

I'm Pete, I thank you for taking the time to respond to me...

:hi:

But I will come over and say :hi: anyway!

So many people, so little time.

What do you want to talk about...maybe we have a common interest. :hi:

I am too shy to market my business. It's annoying. I don't want to have to get a real job.

I work at a supermarket, which is embarrassing for a 32 year old man.
I could only afford a little college. I studied art.

I've written a novel that will probably never be published.

My relationships with women have been few and far between.

:hi: Jus' the facts Mamn.

to publish your book? I have no idea how easy or hard that is.

A client of mine is working on getting a book published. I can't remember how she said she found her agent - I think through another person she knew.

Many letters were sent out.

Many check lists were received in return...

I am not unfamiliar with the phrase--"Your work does not suit our needs at this time."

The friend of mine who got the book agent through someone she knows, doesn't even like the agent, as if the agent is skeptical about the content of her book. And the agent insults her too.

I never went to school for writing and have no access to a big university so I know no one and have no connections to the literary world.

Same with art, I know a couple professors from the local Community College but that's about it. :shrug:

The door is still open wide tho...

Sometimes it's not shyness though...

I've written an entire novel about it.

I sometimes think people who are popular aren't being themselves.
While those of us who are shy have to pretend to be someone else in order to fit it.

So go figure. :hi:

There's a little role-playing involved. It's natural to want to emulate people that are good at doing whatever it is you want for yourself. The key word is "want." I guess the shyness is wanting to do it, but not being able to do it.

I can usually tell when it's shyness, and I make the effort.

For me, being around other people is much easier in person. I'm a little square when it comes to the internet culture.


Edit: I thought so... emulate only has 1 "m". :+

I've been mostly honest. I've stretched the truth a few time, but who hasn't.

As far as people, outside of the internet, I prefer a few close friends who know me already, rather than large crowds.

You're a natural organizer for a shy guy. I admire that in you... been watching it for a few months.

Here's for your efforts: :hug:

:hug:

I can't help it if I'm emotional...

(and if being nice, or emotional, or a "good organizer" is a bad thing...ya'll let me know.)

I also like your paintings a lot. This one is especially cool:

:hi:

"Starving" to mean that I don't do it enough anymore. I was going to be a painter forever once upon a time.

So being able to enjoy the works of others means a lot to me. I have a recurring dream that I'm back in art school, knocked out by all the work around me, and not being able to find my "space."

I am the starving artist...



My apologies to all, but I couldn't resist.

I'll get a few more pics together and post them in the Artists Group sometime.

Someone besides me (and a few others) is willing to post their art work around here...

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Good job! :thumbsup:

but Hello Longgrain! :hi:

And welcome to DU. Maybe we'll get to know each other better in the future....:hi:

It's nice to meet you. You may be shy, but your paintings speak volumes. They're wonderful, and you truly have a gift.

I think creative people are quite often misunderstood. Just because it seems like not much is going on externally (talking), doesn't mean there isn't internally. There usually is, in droves. I think creative people are very perceptive, and in some ways, mysterious to the average person (the mystery being the creativity, and how one comes up with ideas and expresses them).

I can be quite shy in groups, or where I don't know anybody. I've always found that people love to talk about what they love...whether it be people, hobbies, etc. It may not net you a great friend or the love of your life, but I think that one can build on little successes (even if it means chatting for a minute to somebody at the bus stop, or whatever). I watched others who were good at small talk, and picked up a few tips that I felt comfortable with.

Finding common ground is also useful...sometimes one has to fish around a bit, asking questions. But I find people respond best to people who respond to them.

I think a lot of people feel like you. And we're so bombarded with people telling us information, or what to do, that actually having someone listen is a treat. I think listening is the key to great conversation.

You probably already know this, but I thought it might be worth repeating. :)

I hope my images do the same...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x2580368

:hi:

And, Uh, I got the reference... and you got a vote!

When I was displaying my board game collection...

The Bugaloos Game...



EnJOY. :)

to match my eyes.

You can't have!

It's mine. All mine!

;)

I only respond to posts with pictures. ;) :hi:

:P

:P

:P

I have a friend who just thinks he is shy, and he says the same about me.

I think our self image from our early years never changes, and if we are shy as kids, even though we are not really shy any longer, we think we are shy. And really quite often we're making ourselves the center of attention. Or maybe I don't mean "we," maybe I just mean "me!"

:-)

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

can't talk to people.

Won't talk to them unless they like my artwork or talk to me first.

I don't like small talk, don't know how to respond to big talk.

Jus' trying to get people to like me I guess...

I don't communicate very well in words...

:)

People who know me now probably don't really believe that I didn't speak as a child, heh.

There is something to be said for the strong, silent type!

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

all the time, just to have someone to talk to...

Several friends have told me that people think I'm "Retarded"

Now that really hurt!

People don't believe me because I am really responsive and very friendly when people approach me. BUT... I feel a paralyzing fear with even the thought of ME approaching people. I get sweaty palms, heart palpitations, churning stomach - the whole kit and kaboodle. And let's not even get started with how I feel in regards to class presentations or talking in front of a crowd. People think I blow hot and cold for this very reason... I've heard from many a friend that people just cannot place whether I am interested in them or enjoying their presence in my life. And it's not that I am at all uninterested. I just crumble at the thought of being the pursuer as opposed to the pursuee. :)

I have an irrational phone phobia as well. I cringe every time it rings :crazy:


edited for sp.

I know what it's like not being able to even look a person in the eyes when you're talking to them. Not being able to answer the door or the phone. Hell, I have a hard time greeting people by their first name.

Glad to see I'm not the only one here who feels this way.

Everyone tells me "Get out there and mingle!" They don't know how hard that is for some of us...

SIGH

But hi...:hi:

It's funny, becuase I always thought it was a weird quirk of mine until I met other shy people that said they also had a difficult time calling people by their names. :)

It is always amazing to hear how the things you assume to be your own personal neuroses are really shared by other people similar to you. :)

I was extremely shy growing up and didn't talk in Kindergarten at all. My Mom (a psychologist) told me that I was self centered by being shy which got me thinking and I came to the conclusion she was right. Once I learned to forget about myself and focused on taking an interest in other people my shyness started to fade. My Mom use to tell me "fake it until you make it" and eventually I made it. I still sometimes feel shy but because I don't think about myself as much the shyness has faded. Now people would have a hard time believing I was ever shy.

It seems to be part of who I am....

I've lived in a cage all my life.

But I'm always looking for a way out...

not very big on small talk either

also very uncomfortable in a large crowd

:shrug:

I'm the guy at parties who sits in the corner by himself, not knowing anyone there,praying that someone will talk to him.

Change the messages in your brain and focus on being interested in other people. Thats what worked for me. The fact that being interested in others is celebrated and seen as wonderful will justify that not only is it OK for you to go talk to someone and learn about them but it's considered wonderful that you would take such an interest. So instead of waiting for someone to come talk to you forget about yourself and focus on wanting to learn about others. People LOVE it when someone comes to talk to them and asks questions. Everyone wants to think others are interested in who they are just as you want others to be interested in you. Remember, why should they want to come talk to you if you are not interested in other people. It's all about caring about others more than you worry about yourself. Thats what worked for me and I was painfully shy!

As Dale Carnegie says; everyone desires acceptance and understanding; when you focus on those basic needs in others, then you can indeed "win friends and influence people" (that book is just as relevant today as it was when it was written).

I have one dear friend in her 50s that has spent her whole life fighting loneliness. She's so painfully self conscious that her internal dialog is entirely focused on herself and her perceived failings. She only reaches out to others when they, too, are suffering a personal crisis. If someone else is filled with self doubt, she can relate to that and she offers words of understanding. However, she feels guilty about talking to anyone who is happy or content, because she fears that somehow she'll bring them down and become a burden. It's a terrible shame, because in those moments that she's not self focused she's witty and vivacious. She's had a fascinating life as an artist and former supermodel, so she certainly isn't boring when she can cast away her self doubts and just relate an amusing anecdote from her life. If I could wish anything for her, it would be to enable her to look outside of herself and see that others DO want her company and friendship-they don't just need a "foul weather friend" in times of personal crisis-she IS "good enough". It's so very frustrating.

How are things in your neck of the woods?

I'll be headed up there in a couple of weeks to visit my folks.

Are there still a lot of empty store fronts downtown? Maybe someday I'll come back and start a business there.

What do you do for work in town.... or do you have to travel? Seems I don't recall there were a lot of employment opportunities up there.

Going to any good Super Bowl events/parties? Where you going to watch the game?

:hi:

Yep the downtown is half empty...the "for lease" signs out number the active store fronts.

Lots of empty factories out here too..



I work in Littleton...but live else where.

Anything for a dollar. :(

You post prolifically, you have absolutely no compunction about displaying your work or you photo (I was at DU for more than a year before I could screw up the courage to do either of those). You have no qualms about sharing personal information about yourself. Seriously; why do you feel that you're shy?

meeting someone face-to-face.

Online I can be myself, without having to face the harsh reality of rejection...

:hi:

the written word can be every bit as harsh as those that are spoken. I dunno, my shyness always came from a lack of self worth; I was a "mistake" that my parents made, I had a facial deformity, bottle thick glasses, and a speech impairment growing up, so I knew nothing BUT rejection. My self esteem was so low at one point that I was anorexic NOT because I wanted to be thin, but because I didn't believe I deserved to eat. I'm a professional artist, but I recognize that everyone has different tastes, so if they don't care for my particular style, well, there's no reason to be pissed about that! The way I deal with my shyness is by focusing on what everyone else is saying, that way I'm not thinking "I hope they like me", instead I'm thinking "I hope I like THEM". I'm accustomed to rejection, so anything different is a pleasant surprise-go in with NO expectations, and you might come away with a few happy surprises.

Just my 2 cents.

Beautiful cats.

:toast:

aren't pets wonderful? They love us no matter what...well, unless they're served a tin of food they really don't like, lol! ;-)

:hi:

3 of them are 15 yrs. old, and one will be 21 this year. They wake me up at 6 am every day for their can food meal. (We already have their favorite flavors worked out. ;)) As soon as I'm done feeding them, I have 3 litter boxes to clean, because the senior citizen needs a clean box after his meal or he'll piddle on the floor. sigh...

I love them dearly though.

sorry, don't mean to threadjack, but your're a wonderful kittymama! Any secrets you'd like to share? (the Pet's group would probably be the best place for them ;-) ).

Are your kitties on Catster? DU is taking over that site. Here's a link to one of mine: http://www.catster.com/?100240 I'd love to see yours, too.

:hi:

My old boy is a Chinchilla Persian. He still has the loudest purr I've ever heard. When I turn my computer off to go to bed, he follows me in and lays in my arms like a baby (under the covers) for about 15 minutes. This is our nightly ritual and it makes his younger brothers jealous. Ok... enough of that. :)

I haven't posted pictures of them, but I will soon. I will also drop by the Pets Group.

(My apologies for temporarily hijacking your thread, Longgrain.) :hi:

And I might just tell you my story...:hi:

crosses to bear. Pain is completely universal; even the most seemingly charmed lives carry some fairly dark secrets.

:hi:

I got nothing better to do tonight? :hi:

Funny, you've never struck me as shy on here either, but I guess you are more bold in cyberspace. I am more comfortable with people in person than here. I rarely start threads myself, I don't feel I'm as well informed as many here are and I'm not into cyber-confrontations....I don't usually get into threads with a lot of flames flying.
I like your paintings from what I've seen on lounge threads. I used to sing in a band, but I haven't done any music in quite a while. Too much working and family responsibilities....sigh.
Something that I remember someone telling me long ago that helped me with self-consciousness around other people is to remember that they are not thinking about me...they are thinking about themselves. The world doesn't revolve around me, I'm not that important. It's good to get some perspective I think. How big of a deal is it if you don't hit it off with someone? Move on to the next person. There's a lot of us out there. :)

I'm going to bed now. Maybe we can talk another time. Goodnight!:hi:

Maybe I will see you again...:hi:

I'm Dan and I live in Montana. I'm a house husband, non-profit director, dad, and guitarist.

I'm a lousy house husband (never get anything done around here), pretty organized foundation director (always working too much on this), good dad (I do the breakfast thing, running around after school, homework checks) and mediocre guitarist.

I like your art. My brother is an artist out in Santa Maria CA.
My house is filled with his work. Here is my favorite. It's called Blue Puddle, 1990.

He painted it from a photo of my wife and daughter at the beach when my daughter was 1.



Its nice to see you here tonight! :headbang:

I just love seeing art by other DUers and your brother has some talent...

I love the "Wife and Daughter" theme too. Motherhood has always been one of my strongest feelings...and always a good subject for art.

:hi:

Million Dollar Baby is one sad fucking movie. :cry:

I'm still alive, and doing fine.

Why must you be so cruel to me?


Oh...because I pick on you mercilessly?


But that's because I think of you as my brother. Isn't that what a (slightly) older sister is supposed to do?

You called yourself by that name long before I did.

Second off, us little brothers have been known to tease our (slightly) older sisters.

It's in our genes...:P

I was only joking. I love it when you tease me.


Oh wait - does this mean that I can't flirt with you any more?

I'm so confused.

I can take a joke...sis.

Called at 1:31am.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x2582917

How has your evening been?
What do you wish to learn at this hour?

I'm going to bed shortly.


To answer your question. I guess the keys to popularity are much desired.

Does not knowing many people not eventually make you feel more isolate, more empty?
I think it does.
Knowing but a handful of people keeps you alive and keeps you solid.

Want to go rock hounding? Agate collecting? What are your hobbies?

Painting, writing, and Photography. I hope to make a career out of one of them someday.:hi:

I'm back up! I see you are up later AND earlier than me! Impressive.
:D

Yeah I'm kind of an insomniac.

Plus once I get a conversation started on line, I feel compelled to reply to everything. I didn't expect this one to get very many responses.

They're a lot more shy people out there than I thought. :hi:

situations...it just depends on your personality and upbringing as to which ones those will be.
I was on the fringe in high school and I still feel left out when groups seem like that clique thing that is SOOO high school. I grew up with an autistic/mentally retarded sibling and my mom had a drinking problem, big time. Didn't have a lot of fun things to talk about with other kids, I didn't feel I could have them over to my house...too many things could go wrong. You could say it was tough, but that would be a total understatement. Since I don't have anything even remotely that awful to deal with now it seems pretty easy to talk to people now. Of course, I've had LOTS of therapy since I was a MESS as a young adult. Thank God it worked!

sounds a little like my story. I'm not depressed or dependent on alcohol or drugs, but I've had past experience with metal illness as a teenager that I always felt interfered with normal development of social skills.

I was always the withdrawn type that everybody LIKED but nobody wanted to really get to know.

I'm changed. I'm a lot friendlier now and I a few close friends. I just still have a tough time breaking the ice with most people.

You'd be surprised how many people have had to struggle with all sorts of traumas in life. I think it makes me a more open-minded and understanding person. I am also very tolerant of differences (except maybe RW fundie mindsets!). It makes me a really good nurse too and I bet it informs your artwork. I'm glad to get to know you better and I support you in your move out into the social world! :pals:

I thought I be more open and honest with y'all, instead of engaging in the usual drinking threads and vanity threads...

I just want to say hi and quietly get to know a few people better.

It looks like it worked...:pals:

I live in Texas. where are you?

I have also lived in Indiana, Tennessee, Massachusetts, and Kentucky.

I do not like football, but I LOVE basketball

Hobbies: cooking, reading, puttering in the flower garden, armchair caver, collect cookbooks.

family: two sisters, husband, daughter (age 20) and four cats

The first month I was on DU I only had about 30 posts and hardly knew what the Lounge was all about.

I'm in Massachusetts right now, single and forced to live with my parents for the time being.

I've never been a big sports fan, tho I do like going to baseball games. I just don't care much for watching them on T.V. unless its a big game.

I guess I'm a Pats fan, tho I probably not watch the entire game, I'll at lest be rooting for them.

Nice to meet ya yellowdog. :hi:

I went to college in San Antonio, TX, Madison, WI, and here in Milwaukee. I'm an artist, photographer and graphic designer I have 2 cats, one of them is yowling at me now so I better find out what he wants. See you all later.
:hi:

I already know you somewhat but I'm looking foreward to getting to know you better...

Me myself I got to clean out my room today, but I'll still be checking in. :hi:

I was born there - moved to Illinois from Wisconsin when I was 11. Love that little city! I've always believed Milwaukee folk to be a good sort of people.

Nothing to ask or say just Hi. :) :kick:

Hi :)