I just got a lecture from my daughter

About my influence on my grandson. She says I need to talk to him about an incident on Sunday when a friend of his came over to their house. This friend brought another boy along with him and my grandson would not the other boy come into the house, because his parents are republicans and they had Bush/Cheyney signs on their lawn during the election.

Now what do I say? Did I go a little overboard. Personally, my husband sees nothing wrong with it, but my daughter thinks I went a little too far. I just want to make sure he hears the truth.

By the way he's only 10.

If yes, that's going too far. Kids haven't developed their minds 100% and he might hate himself for doing something like that later. Plus, just because the other kid's parents are Republicans, doesn't mean that he is. He shouldn't be punishing kids of Republicans that way. That kid probably went home sad and pissed off. He's going to remember that feeling and hate Democrats and/or politics.

Just think about this, would you want the grandson to be turned away from playing because he was a Democrat?

I don't know how the OP's grandson is, but I think it's wrong to 'punish' a child because of the opinions of the parents.

I think we would alllllll be in an uproar if a republican child refused to play with a friend whose parents were democrats.

I think we would ALLLLL be in an uproar if a child refused to be friends with someone because they found out the child's parents were gay. Or black. Or muslim, etc.

It's no different than ostracizing a child whose parents are gay, or in a mixed-race relationship, or of a different religion, or any of the other things that the child has no responsibility for.

Just because the parents are repubican doesn't mean the child is, or that the child subscribes to republican ideas, or that the child comprehends the difference between one political party or another OR that it should even make a difference WHAT the child believe. He's a child, and it's a sad day when we ask (or in some cases, demand) that our children adopt OUR political frame of refrence and exclude others because of their difference of opinion.

True story: I was raised by a single parent. A good friend of mine was disallowed from hanging out at my house when her parents found out that my mom was single. It went against their beliefs for an unwed parent (in her case, divorced) to raise a child. It went against their beliefs that my father wasn't involved in my life (by his choice).

I had no part in making my mother single. I had no part in making my father disinterested in my life. But I was punished for it and so was my friend. We were never able to regain our friendship later in life because we had missed such an important part of our youth together.

Bad judgement, imo, to teach a child to exclude someone because of the actions, beliefs, customs, lifestyle, etc, of the parent. BAD judgement. Bad decision.

You do need to talk to the grandchild and explain to him that his being friends or not friends with someone should not be dependent upon the actions of the parents. THat's completely unfair to your grandson and completely unfair to his now ex-friend who HAPPENS to have republican parents

I've never done that, although in school he was in the minority since we live in a republican area and most of his classmates were routing for Bush to win the election. He held his own though. I talked to him about the issues and he understood what we talked about. He's growing up in a difficult world and I want him to have value for human life and respect for others. I do not want him to discriminate like others did to him in school during the election.

Sometimes he would come home upset because he was being told that Kerry was a traitor amongst other things. One good thing was that most of the teachers in his school were Kerry supporters.

They are kids. I wouldn't not allow an adult in my house for such a thing let alone a kid. I put politics aside for family.

Truth is one thing, manners are important too. Ten year olds typically ape their parent's beliefs, they haven't necessarily thought it through on their own yet. But your grandson was rude to purposely exclude the little boy. I would guess you'd be upset if some Young Republicans excluded him because of your beliefs.

many, many years ago.

The kid's 10 fer cri-yi. Don;t blame the child for what the parents do.

...after he first signed a loyalty pledge. :evilgrin:

NGU.

Don't fault the kid and maybe the parents just don't know the truth. This is a sure fire way to divide us even more. What if the kid was from another culture, or another religion or color?

n/t

parents were racists or antisemitic or antigay? I consider this just as bad, sorry, but I do. Bush's policies are just as harmful. I think you are allowed to voice your opinions. If your grandson thinks enough of you to absorb your beliefs that is a wonderful reflection on you.
If your daughter wants to discuss his behavior with him, that is up to you, but I do not think that she should force you to back down on your beliefs.

doesn't mean that the CHILD does too.

There are NUMEROUS Du'ers whose parents are/were rabid republicans. Yet these DU'ers are complete liberals. When do we separate the personality of the parents from the personality of the child? Why must the child suffer because of the policital affiliation of the parents.

What IF the parents are anti-gay? Unless they espouse those beliefs to the OP's grandchild, their feelings really should have no bearing on the friendship between the two children.

Would you feel equally strong if one child ostracized another after finding out that the parents were gay? or black? Or Muslim? Would their exclusion of that child be "okay"?

They're ten year old kids for fuck's sake. the LAST thing that they should worry about is the political affiliation of their Friends' PARENTS.

My family is full of straight-up racists. I am not a racist. Never have been, and never will be. I would hope that people can see that just because a parent has one belief doesn't mean a child will too, or that a child isn't enough of a person to form their own beliefs.

The support of this pittiful action speaks VOLUMES.

This is an issue I would expect to see supported on FreeRepublic, not DU.

grandmother.

who gave him the impression (either directly or indirectly) that Republicans are X and Democrats are Y, then SHE should be the one who should sit down with the child and clarify HER comments.

I think you would change your tone.

for others' political views. You should encourage democratic discussion btw. the children.

Proof that my parents were right to enroll me in Friends Central

If someone is a repuke, why should we tolerate them? Why should we tolerate Bush? Why should we tolerate stolen elections? Why should we tolerate so many guns on the street? No, we should be a party about what is right.

Jeeezschhh... I enjoy my friends..


some of them are far different in many of their perspectives, yet I invite them into my life & often my home.

Should we teach each other (our kids & grandkids as well) to avoid persons of other perspectives... I think we're dooming them to indifference while robbing the 'OTHERS' of discussion among-st friends that may 'enlighten' them toward different/'correct' ideas & ideals.


'deep thoughts'

:bounce:

I think it's great that you're making an impression on your grandson. That is so sweet. And we think kids don't listen!

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

So I would use that respect to have a good heart-to-heart with him about tolerance and diversity of opinion.

Also, knowing how kids are, there could be another reason he wanted to exclude the boy but used the Republican parents as an excuse.

So anyway, sounds like you have a great relationship with him so I'm sure you can get to the heart of the matter.