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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:20 PM
Original message
Shhh! Don't tell anyone, but I'm sitting in a conference room with
a bunch of lawyers getting ready for trial - they think I'm working, but I'm really hanging out with you in the lounge - don't post anything funny, though 'cause if I laugh out loud, I might get into trouble.
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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:22 PM
Response to Original message
1. Lawyers work at 10:30 at night?
:D
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:23 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. Check back in four hours! I'll still be here - we pull all nighters on
the eve a trial!
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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:24 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. Do you have to be there bright and early tomorrow?
Hail, coffee!
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:29 PM
Response to Reply #5
14. I think I've got half a pot of coffee in me already!
It's good thing the bathroom is close by! Besides, it gives me a chance to get away from them for a few minutes -

Note to them: THE HORSE IS DEAD ALREADY!!!!
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yvr girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:22 PM
Response to Original message
2. You are so naughty.
You're my hero.
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:24 PM
Response to Reply #2
6. Ooops - I cracked a smile!
oops and then a giggle! Shit! I'm gonna get in trouble :7
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yvr girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:26 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. You need to learn the art of the covering cough
Sneezes work too.

They might think you're about to expire, but your secret will be safe.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:30 PM
Response to Reply #6
15. Pull out an armhair every time you want to laugh
Works for me during some of the dumber 9-1-1 calls I've taken!
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:33 PM
Response to Reply #15
19. Oh shit! Now I've got the giggles!
:hi:
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:50 PM
Response to Reply #19
31. If you had some of the calls I get at work
you would piss your pants from laughing too hard!
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:51 PM
Response to Reply #31
34. The Lounge is way more fun
then the other boards. I should have come here long before last night!
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:23 PM
Response to Original message
3. for real?
You rebel, you!
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:25 PM
Response to Reply #3
7. Hey! I gotta cause - 'cause it DU!
:hi:
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:26 PM
Response to Reply #7
10. Why you gotta work so damn late?
Don't they know that we need you more than they do????
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:32 PM
Response to Reply #10
18. It's what's known in the biz as a major
cluster fuck! :7
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:33 PM
Response to Reply #18
20. Cluster fucks are all well and good
....but don't they know it's past your bed time? I mean...your DU time???
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:50 PM
Response to Reply #20
32. you could be really nice to me and post pictures of
hot guys for me :7
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:59 PM
Response to Reply #32
35. ah - i am off in search of some now
:)
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 11:09 PM
Response to Reply #32
38. .
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x2678208
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RagingInMiami Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:26 PM
Response to Original message
8. lawyer joke
A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer.

The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, "How do you handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?"
"Just send a bill for such advice" replied the lawyer.

On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the ulcer-stricken man a $50 bill. That afternoon he received a $100 bill from the lawyer.
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:31 PM
Response to Reply #8
16. STOP! That's so bad - besides if NSMA catches you,
she'll get Skittles to kick your ass!
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RagingInMiami Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:31 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. As if I haven't shocked her before
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:36 PM
Response to Reply #17
21. Are you the reason nothing shocks her anymore???
Wow, I always wondered...
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RagingInMiami Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:42 PM
Response to Reply #21
24. Yes, and I'm working on you next
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PartyPooper Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:27 PM
Response to Original message
11. Well, maybe you should have posted a "lawyer jokes" thread instead, eh?
:D

:hi:
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RagingInMiami Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:27 PM
Response to Original message
12. Lawyer joke II
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape.

"It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."

The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers -- we had $100 when we broke in!"
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RagingInMiami Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:27 PM
Response to Original message
13. Lawyer joke III
The day after a verdict had been entered against his client, the lawyer rushed to the judge's chambers, demanding that the case be reopened, saying: "I have new evidence that makes a huge difference in my client's defense."

The judge asked, "What new evidence could you have?"

The lawyer replied, "My client has an extra $10,000, and I just found out about it!"
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:41 PM
Response to Reply #13
22. .
Edited on Mon Feb-21-05 10:41 PM by JimmyJazz
my boss -------> (nevermind - stupid lap top )<--------young associate trying to make a name for himself :eyes:
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:42 PM
Response to Reply #22
23. hmmmm -that didn't work so well
try again?
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:44 PM
Response to Reply #23
27. My mouse will be arriving shortly! I just can't drive this
little eraser head doohikie!
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tinfoilinfor2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:42 PM
Response to Original message
25. and I am sitting on a boat in the Florida Keys drinking rum
I WIN!
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:49 PM
Response to Reply #25
30. That's just plain mean!
:P
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tinfoilinfor2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 11:04 PM
Response to Reply #30
36. oh, no...
I have plenty of chairs on the deck and plenty of rum. Close your eyes and come and join me!
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:44 PM
Response to Original message
26. Here you go Jimmy the funniest thing I've ever posted at DU...
Edited on Mon Feb-21-05 11:12 PM by Longgrain



Enjoy!
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:46 PM
Response to Reply #26
28. LG, you are a dork.
:loveya:
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:48 PM
Response to Reply #28
29. Hehehe...
I've only scratched upon the surface of my dorkiness around here! }(
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miss_kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 10:51 PM
Response to Original message
33. The Lawyer's Ethical Dilemma
A lawyer is winding up a 10 minute session with a client. The client says "I just went to the bank. What do I owe you?" The Lawyer looks at his watch and says "$100.00"

The client opens his wallet and pulls out a 100 dollar bill from among many, gets a receipt and leaves. After he's left, the Lawyer realises his client has given him 2 hundred dollar bills.
His dilemma-Should he keep the extra hundred, or tell his partner?
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 11:06 PM
Response to Reply #33
37. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Unfortunately, I do corporate work and it's all about billable hours. My boss once billed 26 hours in one day (it was an oopsie, but 13 years later, we still laugh about it!)
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Aristus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 11:11 PM
Response to Original message
39. Tell 'em to uncluster that fuck!
And don't laugh! :D
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NightTrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-21-05 11:44 PM
Response to Original message
40. Honey, I'd LOVE to be in a room with you!
:loveya: :*
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