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Q: How many Dadaists does it take to change a light bulb?

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NightTrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 12:04 AM
Original message
Q: How many Dadaists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change the light bulb, and two to fill the bathtub with brightly-colored machine parts!
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pansypoo53219 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 12:48 AM
Response to Original message
1. shouldn't they be
installing bidets underneath?
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Hardrada Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 02:06 AM
Response to Original message
2. This is not a post.
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giant_robot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 02:23 AM
Response to Original message
3. Q: How many Marxists does it take to change a proletariat light bulb?
A: None. A proletariat light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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khashka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 02:31 AM
Response to Original message
4. Watch your overcoat
Many things happen. Many things do not happen. Many things happen and do not happen. I think my mother hates me. Tristan Tzara is not dead. Where are my cigarettes?

Khash. Not Khash. Somebody pretending to be Khash. Khash pretending to be Khash.
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KittyWampus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 09:08 AM
Response to Original message
5. Fish!
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 09:12 AM
Response to Original message
6. No, it's "A: A Fish!"
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rbnyc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 12:42 PM
Response to Reply #6
13. Yep!
That's what I thought.

:hi:
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 12:46 PM
Response to Reply #6
14. Actually, - I think that's "How many surrealists..."
But it's a good one, nonetheless.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 05:53 PM
Response to Reply #14
25. Oh, you're right - that's the answer for surrealists
Damn! In error again!!
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Arkana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 09:13 AM
Response to Original message
7. Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six.

Why?

IT JUST DOES, OKAY?!
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khashka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 12:13 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. None
Her husband better damn well do it for her or she'll kick his butt. And then start crying

The definition of PMS? Those few days a month when women act like men always do.

Khash.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 12:21 PM
Response to Reply #8
10. You got that right!
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khashka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 12:22 PM
Response to Reply #8
11. Q. How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. That's not funny!

Alternative A. At least six. One to write a passionate thesis about how screwing in a light bulb is male oppression. One to write an equally passionate thesis about how the light bulb secretly enjoys it. One to start a petition against it. One to start a petition for it. One to stage a protest march. And one to arrange a potluck supper for all of them.

Khash.
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KittyWampus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 12:15 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. Hee!
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American Tragedy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 12:40 PM
Response to Original message
12. How many Bush administration officials does it take to change a lightbulb?
Edited on Tue Feb-22-05 12:41 PM by American Tragedy
None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its condition is improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are
totally unfounded, and the result of revisionist history and the filter of the liberal media.
That light bulb has served honorably in the defense of America and liberty. Why do you hate freedom?
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Coventina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 12:48 PM
Response to Reply #12
16. I love that one!
:thumbsup:
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EstimatedProphet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 01:28 PM
Response to Reply #12
21. You forgot how it's being burned out is Clinton's fault
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American Tragedy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 02:46 PM
Response to Reply #21
23. Damn! You're absolutely right!
The arguments are so intricate yet devoid of substance that it's easy to forget some of the vital components.
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 12:48 PM
Response to Original message
15. How many Boston-area liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
31: One to change the bulb and thirty to hold celebrational meetup at the People's Republik.

:7
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dean_dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 12:50 PM
Response to Original message
17. How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three: one to change the lightbulb and two to talk about how Neil Peart could have done it better.
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Tesha Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 12:52 PM
Response to Original message
18. A resource for you...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Light_bulb_jokes
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IntravenousDemilo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 02:26 PM
Response to Reply #18
22. Good resource!
Hey, here's one from there:

Q. How many Bush administration officials does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. None. There is nothing wrong with the lightbulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media. That lightbulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

Thanks, Tesha!

Oh, this is good too: How many fraternity boys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None; fratboys don't screw in lightbulbs; they screw in pools of vomit. (That's right, isn't it, Mr Bush?)
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giant_robot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 01:00 PM
Response to Original message
19. Q: How many anti-abortionists does in take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 6. 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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IntravenousDemilo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 01:14 PM
Response to Original message
20. Three of these that you should tell as a set
Q. How many directors does it take to change a lightbulb.
A. Just one, but we'd like to see another lightbulb.

Q. How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Four. One to change the bulb, three to say they could have done it better.

Q. How many writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. You want to change what?!
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KittyWampus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 03:58 PM
Response to Reply #20
24. Good Segues!
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NoPasaran Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 05:58 PM
Response to Original message
26. An oldie, but a goodie
How many Microsoft tech support people does it take to change a lightbulb?

None: Microsoft declares darkness the new standard
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