Tell of your favorite whoisalhedges anecdote

Why I'm reminded of the time that we were out clearing lumber from old man MacTagart's wood. Soaked in his musky sweat Hedges worked his ropey muscles like a well built matador. We chopped and chopped the day away in a manly silence. Then, out of the blue Hedges exclaimed "Dook! Dook! Dook! " and removed a flask of whiskey from his leather pants. We drank in the whiskey, the night and eachother and slept beneath the myriad winking stars.


*sigh*

waste of stars.

So terribly safe.

face and have a fit of snorting, snarfing and otherwise making an ass of yourself while people wonder what is so funny? I'm having one of those moments...right. now.

LOL

Oh...and if you've ever tried to show it someone -- and they just don't get it????

the jewel like beads of sweat on Hedges brutish chest. It is a deadly serious affair.

Except when he's been drinking.

There there :hug:

I'm going to dine out on THIS story for a long time. :-)

A most delightful experience.

T

Every day for a year.

:scared:

bic lighter. somebody hold me :cry:

out of the way -- I here she has a thing for you...

Quickly, while there's still time: :hug:

on edit: stupid laptop

:hug:

when he and I were traveling to Barcelona for the weekend in...I want to say 1995, but my memory is shot from all the amyl nitrate he made me do.....anyhow, we were on the plane, and he unzipped my jumpsuit ever so slowly with his teeth....I was so turned on, but then his moustache hair got caught imy zipper somewhere around my navel! He was flailing around, going "MmmUuUUppmh! Mmmmopph!!" And I was going "MR. HEDGES! I appreciate the gesture, but I really need to be piloting the airplane right now!" His gyrations had kocked the control stick out of my hands and we were veering stright into the Pyranees.

Luckily for us, the co-piolt, Dennis, brandished his toenail clippers and simply hacked Hedges's upper lip off. That's why he sounds so funny when he talks.

We had so much fun!

I've never seen a man do those things. And I think I never will.

My jaw STILL hurts.

Then there was that time in San Diego before that Chargers game, in the upper teirs on the west side of the stadium, when he beat up a small child with a flaming sack of cat turds. What a card!

I'm reasonably sure that chocolate sauce left a permanent stain.

I think that's all anybody really needs to know about the guy, frankly.

it involves not alhedges but a distant relative of his. This relative did not support the American revolutionary charge but as did about 40% of the "colonies" at the time favored the Crown of England as their ruler. These conservatives, or tories, did not see the what JEfferson, Paine, and Henry were creating so they opposed it.

Well in a Gannon-esque scoop this relative of alhedges got wind that a young engraver had volunteered to notify the locals when His Majesty's army approached. Alhedge's long lost and misguided relative sought a hiding place along Revere's route, he found a chicken coop.

He hid inside the chicken coop for several hours before he finally heard "The English are coming" faintly in the distance. He started to look around for some sort of weapon to use and in doing so created such a commotion that the chickens got very riled up and started to cluck and flap their wings. He tried to quiet them but he efforts only made things worse.

"The English are coming"
"The English are coming"

he heard it getting closer, he started to panic, the chickens at this point were in a terrible tizzy and as Revere got nearer.....THE CHICKENS ATTACKED.....biting scratchy pecking until alhedge's relative collapsed in the corner of the coop and hid under a burlap sack. Revere passed the chicken coop and continued on his historic ride.

This was the first known instance in history of-chicken catch a tory.

Puns are never ok!


:)

Exactly!!!


LOL

I heard that horrible joke years ago and remembered it for some reason.

with a spkied baseball bat. whassup...BLAU!!

screwdriver BLAUUU!!!!!!!!

and ketchup and feeding me french fries and ketchup and feeding me french fries and ketchup....BLAU!!

Exactly!!!!!

I know I know that is really bad but you read 'til the end didn't you?

Hey, UP, did you hear we are getting snow tonight? 5 inches. Crap. I thought this junk was over.

And it will remain one as long as my torch is still being carried.....by me.

Jeez. All this Hedges worship has really gotten to you....

I swear all he has to do is MENTION snow and Ukrops gets rid of all their milk and bread (send a reporter out to cover people going to the grocery store).

:eyes:

...but damn you are so right. I myself, now that Winn Dixie is closing, am going to Kroger.

was baggin groceries in a Winn Dixie

Unbelieveable that they are going out of business.

The one here at the entrance to Woodlake gets a ton of business, especially on a Sunday. I can't believe that they are closed, such a pain for me. And, in the TD this morning, Winn Dixie has filed for bankruptcy, so more empty buildings.

Something about a box of Count Dracula, several Pineapples, a jar of Plochmann's Hot Mustard, and a copy of Reader's Digest.

That's all I'm saying...

RL

of Al Hedges

But I can't feed Hedges to my children, well, I could, but no...not a good idea.....

We would be driving right into the teeth of it and with my wife being pregnant she decided that that might not be the best idea. There is no way that 460 will be "treated" which means it would be a long uncomfortable ride for her and well it's just not a good idea.

A very dear family friend. A really sweet story of a neighborhood where everyone pretty much raised the whole neighborhood's kids. The dads all coached to local football team-made up completely of kids in that one neighborhood (they even had letter jackets)- and everyone's house was open to where ever the kids got tired, thirsty, or hungry when they were playing. They still have a neighborhood picnic every year it really is a one of a kind type thing especially in this day and age. All the families have moved out now but they all stay very much in touch, they even have an official report on the fund balance after the picnic (still kept in an old green stamp notebook).

She passed away Sunday after a long bout with cancer.

I agree with your decision, however. I figure if we get the amount they are calling for, the kids will go back to school somewhere about May.


:crazy:

with up to 7 inches in Lynchburg

I have heard 2-6 on WWBT. BTW- Channel 6 is usually spot on for the city and 8 is usually the most accurate over all.

And that's really about it!

but Whoisalhedges and I were once contract killers. We have resigned now and are both in the witness protection program. God, how I miss him. His laugh, his touch, the smell of whiskey on his breath. I think about him every night as I gaze lovingly at my 357 magnum, the one he gave me when I covered for him one night because he had the flu. Those were good times.

Anyway, probably TMI, but how I miss that man.

you will be smitten - forever. :loveya:

we can never, ever be together again.

loving and leaving is his way, it was the hand he was dealt.

your fourth bottle of wine by now with plans of hanging out later in that lovely 5 star Inn I booked for the two of you...and yet, you pine for another...alas. alak. STM will be disappointed to hear that you have feelings for another...a fact which I am going to tell him immediately... :o

Whoisalhedges and I are over, I don't even know where he is. .....STM... hubba, hubba.

Al and 12 of his best male buddies (I'm humbled to be included) were on a retreat in a cabin located in a rugged morraine near Lake Geneva.

We had run out of whiskey. Al immediately he made us get into a boat, and to go ahead to the other side of the lake, to Bethsaida's Liquors, while he himself held off the boat's owner. After we had taken leave of him, Al went up the mountain to pray.

When evening had come, the boat was in the midst of Lake Geneva, and Al was alone on the land. Seeing us distressed from rowing a boat filled with several cases of spirits, for the wind was contrary to us, Al came to us, walking on the lake, I shit you not.

He would have passed by us, but when we saw him walking on the water, we supposed that it was a ghost, and cried out, especially CSTT, for he was very drunk. We all saw him, and were troubled. But Al immediately spoke with us, and said , “Cheer up, fuckers! It is I! Don’t be afraid.”

Al got into the boat with us; and the wind ceased, and we were very amazed among ourselves, and marveled; for we hadn’t understood about the loaves, but our hearts were hardened. But that's another story.

in his colon and when it hatched he squeezed it out and masturbated all over the baby ostrich and made it wear a Burger King crown

ten flaggons of water into Crown Royal. Or when he came as tongues of fire exorting us all to disrobe with his undying words "strip bastards or face my greasy wrath!"

Crown Royal Manhattans make me feel dirty.

I said, "That's alright, Al. It happens to every man sometimes." :P

:P

He was young and was about to be de-flowered and.... . Poor dude.

Wait a minute, just what are we talking about?