Help!! Ex-wife wants sole legal custody of kids. Why?

I just don't get what advantage she gets by doing this since I would still get visitation and the right to petition for joint physical custody.

What are the advantages/disadvantages of joint/sole legal custody?

Thanks in advance.

edit: I am a California resident if that matters.

She gets more child support than if the custody is joint.

I have sole physical custody of my son but joint legal custody, eventually my son (who is 14) could decide to live with his dad, thus the joint legal custody, and all we would have to do is amend the custody agreement.

Is your ex going for sole legal custody - if so I would fight it, as amending custody arrangements is more difficult if it is a sole legal custody arrangement.

My understanding was that child support was based upon physical custody of the kids. My ex kept the 4 bedroom house and with my child support payments all I can afford is a studio.

The nasty thing is in addition to having the house she earns 20k more per year than I do and I still pay her. I love America.

I think you may have meant to post this to the previous poster. I get the same amount of support with sole physical custody, as I would get if I also had sole legal custody.

I am not sure what it is in California.

Sounds to me like the OPs ex is setting the both of them up for a lot of legal fees fighting the whole custody thing out.

$$$$$$$....is it your ex or her attorney that really wants this?

without so much as a note telling me when they would be gone or coming back.

Stuff like this makes me understand why white guys vote repuke. They figure it's liberals taking their kids away.

Oh, brother. What in the hell are you talking about?

and he might just go into a bitch about the government screwed him, took his kids, his money etc. He'll figure if a law seems to advantage women to his detriment it's liberals that caused it.

Fathers get shafted in this country. Don't doubt it.

. . . are accurately susceptible to political or racial labels, such as black, white, GOP, or liberals is totally devoid of any factual bases.

Its not that simple.

Calm down and try to think logically.

Thanks,

Floog

Contractor A has just lost his house, his kids, his dog and everything but his pickup (bald tires) and his tools. Half his take home pay goes to his wife, a teacher, who makes $15K more than he does for child support. She lives in his ex-house with another teacher who ALSO makes $15K more than he does. He can afford a studio near the train tracks.

Contractor B is also getting a divorce. His stay at home wife also gets: the house, the kids, the dog and everything else. She gets to tag him for alimony for 2 years while she goes to junior college.

These two guys get together and decide that no matter what happens in a divorce the guy gets screwed. The laws advantage women, therefore feminists, therefore liberals are the ones screwing them. The GOP gets two more votes plus several guys they work with who are still married.

I work with these guys. This is EXACTLY what they say. You can tell them the law is equal till you're blue in the face. They just call you a lying fool.

SEE YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

. . . Joint Custody still designates a primary custodian. The other parent gets liberal visitation, has to be informed of all aspects of the children's lives, has say so, authority, over the child's care, medical treatment, social activities, religious upbringing, et cetera.

Yes, child support can decrease if the non-custodial parent has a lot of visitation time with the child.

But the biggest advantage for the non-custodial parent with Joint Custody is that he or she has some control over the child's life.

is there some trick that I'm missing. I would like to be involved in these decisions. I actually have a much better grasp of medical issues than she does but she's a teacher so it's even.

Can she change the kids last names or have them adapted by her new boyfriend if they marry? What's the catch?

she has no right to change their names or have them adopted by someone else. She would also have no rights to collect child support.

The Joint Custody Plan can include whatever matters are agreed upon or ordered by the court.

No, she can't change the kids' names. No, her boyfriend cannot adopt your kids, unless you disappear and stop paying child support, under certain circumstances.

...and how it legally defines those terms you're using.

In TN for example, all of the terminology changed effective Jan. 1, 2000. Custody used to mean all custody, now it's just legal custody for purposes of who is "primary care giver" (custodial parent or guardian). Joint custody used to refer to shared decision making, but now it more or less refers to a legal decision in which the parents split custody and time with the kids 50/50.

Here, even if your ex is given legal custody, it still doesn't give him/her legal right to all decision making with regard to the child's upbringing. Both sides have to work out a "parenting plan" which spells out in exacting detail which parent is responsible for what.

The 4 main catagories are: Religious upbringing, Education, Other Activities (be it school, sports, arts, etc.), and Non-Emergency Medical procedures and treatments. Unless it's so specified in the parenting plan than any one parent has sole decision making control over any or all of the 4 areas, both parents have to agree before any such decisions can be made for the kid(s).

The parenting plan also spells out exactly how visitation is handled, from who provides transportation both coming and going and what days and times.

As the judge told us both at our final: You can do things however you both agree to do them regarding anything to do with the kids. If you can't agree, *this* is what you will do instead."

I'd check with an attorney who is in the know of the specific legal terminology of your state and county courts. Asking for advice here is risky if some legal term in one state has a different meaning in your state.

Hope this helps and best of luck!

Hammies!

Is there an area of child rearing on which the two of you vehemently disagree? I.E. religion, medical care? Is one of your children physically or otherwise disabled?

How old are your kids?

Memorize that web address, and visit it. Often. Spend some considerable time there.

My simple advice is to NOT give in to her, period. DO NOT!! The advantages from HER perspective of sole legal custody is she can go wherever she wants, move wherever she wants, join any religious cult she wants, WHATEVER - and you have no say and most importantly NO RECOURSE. You already have very little voice in the daily care of your children simply by being the non-custodial parent. Don't give up the tiny bit you do have.

A fun thing about moveaways too - she can move 3000 miles away taking your children, and you'll likely get stuck with the large bills that will be run up while trying to spend time with them.

Bad idea.

eom.

BUT, here's a hug. :hug:

This sort of thing is can wear on a person.

until the next crazy insult.