So why is it that the Irish are pretty much the only ethnic group

whose jokes are primarily about themselves? I'll start.

Irish foreplay: "Brace yourself, Bridget!"

Redstone

Irish 7-course meal? A potato and a six-pack.

Here's one James Joyce used to like telling...

"What's the only way to get from one end of Dublin to another without passing a pub?"

You stop at every one.

A drive-by in Limerick.

What's black & blue and floats in the Irish Sea?
An Englishman who tells Irish jokes.

I'm Irish, I'm allowed.

In the DU Irish group...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topics&forum=298

:hi:

Are you promoting something again?!? :eyes:






:pals:

first born child, I'll be there.

Three Irishmen drowned digging the grave.


I'm English, I'm allowed

An Irishman moves into a tiny village in County Kerry, walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a
table, alone. An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders three more. This happens yet again. The next evening the man again orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town is whispering about the "Man Who Orders Three Beers." Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of the town. "I don't mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you always order three beers?"

"Tis odd, isn't it?" the man replies, "You see, I have two brothers, and one went to America, and the other to Australia. We promised each other that we would always order an extra two beers whenever we drank as a way of keeping up the family bond."

The bartender and the whole town were pleased with this answer, and soon the "Man Who Orders Three Beers" became a local celebrity and source of pride to the village, even to the extent that out-of-towners would come to watch him drink.

Then, one day, the man comes in and orders only two beers. The bartender pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for the rest of the evening: he orders only two beers. The word flies round town. Prayers are offered for the soul of one of the brothers.

The next day, the bartender says to the man, "Folks around here, me first of all, want to offer condolences to you for the death of your brother. You know--the two beers and all...."

The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, "You'll be happy to hear that my two brothers are alive and well. It's just that I, myself, have decided to give up drinking for Lent."

'Tis the season! O8)

And well told.

1 lb of meat
3lb of potatoes
1 bottle of Guinness Stout.

Instructions:
Drink all of the stout. Forget about the stew.



Xithras <-- Grandfather was a full blooded Irishman. The rest of the family wasn't as lucky ;)