Twenty years of celibacy!

I'm thinking of writing a book about it from personal experience....Do you think it will be a best seller? Of what not to do?
I should be married and have teenage kids by now....
Where did I fuck up?

We think alike, this is just too scary.... :evilgrin:

As a matter of fact, I'm itching to go there, but we are on the same team so I won't talk about teenagers and priests. All kidding aside. If you haven't done the deed for 20 years, then what is there left to write about?

Kidding aside, I think a companion who is suitable for you is out there in some form or another. It's up to take steps and try and meet that person.

I'm not trolling for dates here, I just thought I'd drop a bombshell about what makes me a most unhappy person deep inside...

I'm betting I will be avoided here even more than ever because after all I'm a freak...

And I never thought you were here trolling for dates. Also don't use metrics from society and people around you to measure your own fullfilment. There are no rules written that you have to be married and have teenage kids at your particular age.

Be content with yourself first, and seek companionship if that is something that you want......

I did not aim my comments at you at all, you have been very encouraging and helpful!

It's my own fault for bringing this all up in the first place...

and given all kinds of advice and slogans about how you should be thankful you aren't stuck with someone to keep you company and a family to take for granted. The grass really is greener, folks. I hate to repeat a saying I have always despised, but it seems true.

and I know where I fucked up. I can't live on celery and cottage cheese and gym sweat.

It ain't so bad, better to be alone than with someone crappy.

Is exactly what I've said to myself over and over again...

It ain't so bad, better to be alone than with someone crappy.


However I do not wish to grow old and die alone....Really!

we all really live alone and die alone (she was married for 53 years!) and her husband died 10 years ago so I think she is right. Just make sure you love that one person you have to spend the rest of your life with.

as much as we try to connect with other people, or even that "special someone", we're alone in this world. Utterly, helplessly, hopelessly alone. No one will ever get to know "the real you", "what makes you tick". That's a myth and really hurtful to people's psyche. Look at you, you're lamenting that you've spent all this time alone. All of that "get married, have a significant other, have kids etc." stuff rings hollow. It isn't there. It's a trap, a myth, very much like other myths that I won't get into.
The bottom line, even if you HAD found that "special someone", you'd STILL be having these feelings. We are alone. We are alone in this shell and this mind that we call ourselves. One may be able to fool ones-self temporarily, filling you life with "things" and "people", but in the end..............
Sorry if this hasn't lifted you from your doldrums, but I've seen all side of this issue and this has been my ultimate assessment of life. AND, I work quite well within it's parameters. I'm a happy person. After I accepted these truths, that is.

"Twenty Years of Sex!"

I just realized I lost my virginity twenty years ago TODAY.

I don't think you fucked up, btw, you just went in a different direction than you thought you would. Nothing wrong with that, right?

And it's not too late for sex unless you are dead. Then it's probably too late.

Hey you're a liberal guy, you live in Portland, that's a good start right there, in my opinion!!!

Really....other than that it's despondency until the day I die...

once you accept who you are, there is nothing to be despondent about. You need some soul searching. You'll have to figure that out for yourself. That's something no one can tell you how to achieve. Just, BE.

so we won't talk about my age!

But thanks, I think?

Hee hee. I think it'll be funny to tell my husband when he wakes up that it's been 20 years for me so I better celebrate it.

It's been longer for him (it wasn't me) but he doesn't remember when, so he can't "celebrate" it.

What a weird thing to remember the exact date. I even remember the exact time because I was looking at a clock.

Well, necrophilia does exist, so even then is not too late, just maybe too late to get to enjoy it. :P

Sounds like my marriage.

depending on how it's written, the approach you take.

I doubt you started out twenty years ago planning to be celibate this long. How did that happen? (I don't expect you to answer here). What was the journey like? Why did you never have any kind of encounter or one-night stand?

What kind of connection do you have to children-- friends' kids, or nieces and nephews?

There's a whole lot more, obviously, but the unfolding of your long term celibacy is the interesting part, not any potential complaining about not getting laid all these years.

"the one" who got away? *hugs*

goes along with an intimate relationship. I was married once (divorced 29 yrs) and do have 2 children.

Who said you f-ed up? You just might be smarter than the rest of us.

and i thought this last month has been agonizing...

I've been celibate for only 12 years, after a nasty breakup with a pervert ex-boyfriend.
You make me look sexually frustrated by comparison :)

Actually I confess that I sometimes had an intimate relationship with myself.

What I tried to do was to make my life alone as beautiful as it could be and in so doing, I was fortunate to find someone who wanted to share in that beauty. But I was very fortunate. It could have gone another way.

Now I've been happily married for a long time. Sometimes my wife and I lapse into bouts of celibacy owing to the fact that after about a decade together we decided to stop using birth control for a two short periods. The results of those decisions have impacted our sex life ever since.