Cocky Pope-Hopeful Ready to Make Some Changes Around Vatican

VATICAN CITY—With Pope John Paul II's health in decline, there is speculation as to who will succeed him as the head of the Roman Catholic Church. Cardinal Oscar Andres Rodriguez Maradiaga announced Monday that he is more than ready to accept the challenges of the papacy.

"When the Sacred College of Cardinals names me pope, I'm gonna shake things up," Maradiaga said. "And I'm not just talking about giving the Popemobile a new coat of paint. I'm talking about big moves that will reconfirm the Catholic Church's position as the supreme, full, and immediate power in the sectarian world, may God grant us peace."

Maradiaga, a charismatic cardinal from Honduras, said he is "not afraid to goose the stodgy rituals" of the Catholic Church.

"First thing, let's get the online theological tour done," Maradiaga said. "We were slated to have Phase II complete in December 2003, but click on 'altar' or 'cross' and you still get nothing. Let's get our Sunday Mass and special liturgical celebrations online, too. As pope, I want to touch as many people as I can, and streaming video is just the ticket for that."

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