Women love to be called "hottie" by strange men.

Like, you know just some strange guy behind you in line at Taco Bell or something, when you're there by yourself.... you hear "Aren't YOU a hottie" said breathlessly behind you, and slightly above you. (I think it's important to put a little context behind the scenario, since we all know it would be less threatening if the person were a complete non-threat.)

in our world of perfect equality and peace that situation can be nothing more than an honest appreciation of a woman's beauty and healthy sexuality

What WAS I thinking?!? :D

remember misogyny doesn't exist so no action can possibly be misogynistic

which is why it should be ok to call someone a racist term. If racial inequality doesn't exist, a claim I have seen around here in what another poster aptly put as "whiteous indignation," how can it be offensive?

(And now I shall sit back and wait for someone to jump all over that analogy.)

I'm not averse to being complimented on my looks, but I'm rather reserved and don't like overly familiar greetings from strangers.

If we started talking and, after a few minutes, the guy said "I think you're hot!" that would be preferrable.

said "you are FINE". Now that, she took as a compliment.

It can be used in a variety of ways... it could be used lasciviously or it could be a sincere appreciation of the person as a whole. Hot implies something altogether different.

both male and female. I wasnt aware it was offensive. ooops. :P

Read again... :P Any word can be used offensively. I thought I was clear that I thought fine was a good word. You're mighty fine, in fact. :P

silly me. :smoke: :smoke: "hottie" is kind of a cheesy word, now that you mention it, fine will work. !! even though I used it often I never muttered it under my breath at anyone in passing..:P

And you are fine, too, since we are on the subject!! :hug:

I liked the opera picture from yesteryear and the special ones you had done when you were in CA last for Teena. those were very fine! :hi:

I appreciate the compliment. :hug:

oops. :P

so there :P

Only if the strange man was a DUer (let's be real, there are many :P), it would be ok. Under any other circumstance, no way! :grr:

:scared: :hi:

If someone got all stalkery and weird who I didn't know, that might be a little freaky. :D

I didn't read all that into the original post.

I had no idea this would become a pissing contest. It's a little bit amusing... a little more sad.

When men on average are taller and stronger than women? It's been my experience when a man has said that to me, and that has happened quite a few times, that it said with sexual connotations that are not welcome, therefore, the "breathlessly."

What's sad? I'm curious how many women would be offended by it.

When I've had guys say things like that, which isn't often, it's either very matter of factly or very rudely.

I guess I don't feel that ascairt in a Taco Bell or something like that... it's a public place, well-lit, there are other people there, so... as for me, I'd feel pretty safe.

and men should be cognizant of the fact that women have been conditioned to be afraid, because horrible things have happened to women who don't question the advances of strange men, especially ones who would blurt out "hottie" as a "compliment."

Only a man who doesn't understand the very real problem of violence against women, or someone who just doesn't care about the connotation, would use a term like that.

And it's sad to see women who don't understand it even more.

I've been a victim of sexual violence... I've been conditioned in the same society you have (if you grew up in America)... yet I still choose not to live my life in fear.

It's a choice. It's not forced on us.

Living in fear, and being aware of dangers around you are entirely different things. We really should stop posting to one another. We will never get anywhere with this.

As long as I'm in public, in a well-lit area, with other people around, I don't think it's a dangerous situation. The heavy breathingness you implied in the OP creeped me out a bit, though.

If you want to stop discussing it, that's your choice - and it's fine by me, of course. I'm a hardhead and really do strive for understanding... so I'll probably not stop responding if I think there's something that I can clarify to further our mutual understanding.

using a word like "hottie" in my opinion is not really being aware. And most importantly, it's accepting that man's objectification of you. I refuse to allow a stranger to objectify me.

You and I will never agree on this. I need no more clarification.

I think you're assuming a lot.

If the OP of the original thread had specified things like the guy using heavy breathing or the situation taking place in on a dark street where no one was around, then that would color my reaction, of course.

As for allowing strangers to objectify you... I accept the world as it is. Women happen to be beautiful creatures. Yes, you're a person inside and valuable for who you are. But on the outside -- which is all this stranger will probably ever know -- you're a beautiful work of art, and some think it's actually nice to say so.

It's sad that that's all some care about... but why assume that that's who that person is inside? Why assume they can't appreciate a woman for who she is in addition to what she looks like? Just because they use the term 'hottie'?

That you really just don't get it.

On edit... you should talk about what I do with my own thread...

After all, where did this flamebait originate:

"Men only compliment a woman's looks if they're trying to sleep with them."

if you say so.

:shrug:

you're a jar full of beautylicious.

:P

pass me a cracker, I'm about to take a dip of beautylicious.

would not use, or perhaps, not even know the term "hottie."

But as I said in the other thread, I would prefer just a smile from a casual admirer and an attempt at real conversation from someone who had more in mind.

in that context probably don't want to be bothered with real conversation with you

be my son.

not of using hottie but of complimenting people on their beauty. There's only been a couple of hundred times when I saw someone so beautiful my tongue swelled up, froth formed, and I couldn't make words. In that instance I just sorta grunt.

I also think everyone has some beauty, you may not see it at first but actions and words can make a person very beautiful.

:silly:

about 6 years ago and everyone calls women gal, I hate that. Maybe it's just me but it sounds sexist.

"Guys and Gals" just makes me think it's a senior citizen talking. I don't find much offense in gals as a word, since it is usually in that context, it's just old-fashioned. Now, if they said "Men and Gals" or "Men and Girls" (Girls I hear far more often)... then it is sexist and demeaning.

northern saying? I don't remember it growing up in the south. I was rasied using only "woman or lady".

We could have 70's flashback day at DU then everyone would be "Foxy" :)

in the Northeast, now back in the South... I think it's more a generational thing... and I remember hearing it from southerners as well as northerners. :shrug:

LOL on Foxy... groovy man.

A lot of it is entirely subjective.

it sometimes depends on the man, I mean if Brad Pitt calls someone foxy that might be OK but if AquaLung calls that same woman sexy she may feel threatened.

People still judge books by their covers a lot of the time. It's disappointing.

I still haven't gotten anyone on DU to call me, "A slice of lucious man-meat". I mean come on almost 3000 posts and someone here has to at least think of me as store brand man meat right?

You're so right, you lucsious slice of man-meat, you.

:P

cotto salami. WTF is cotto anyway?

Hell, I dunno.

:shrug:

I thought they were either some kind of organ or from a cotto tree.

one follows you down the street where you live muttering "pussy pussy pussy pussy" under his breath, and you're afraid to go into your building because then he'll know your address.

Now all I get is the occasional old guy saying something like "Well hello sweet young miss!" and then we both laugh. Some things about getting old aren't so bad.

Had something like that happen, though the words used were more about sucking something of his, and he actually did follow me into my apartment building... caught the door as it was closing... I hightailed it up to my apartment by the stairs, was able to get the door opened and closed just before he slammed against it.

Mine walked me by on the street and sneered/muttered, "I smell your bloody tampon, woman!"

Which was strange considering a) I wasn't bleeding and b) I don't use tampons. :P