Stupidiest thing a man who has been caught cheating can say?

CatWoman

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:41 PM
Original message

Stupidiest thing a man who has been caught cheating can say?

1. She meant nothing to me.

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LostInAnomie

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:43 PM
Response to Original message

1. I was just fucking her...

... I make love to you.

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HeyManThatsCool

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Sat Mar-05-05 06:02 PM
Response to Reply #1

48. Yes!!!!!!!!! Eddie Murphy

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HEyHEY

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:43 PM
Response to Original message

2. "I'm sorry"

"Nothing worse than a man running down the hall with a rock hard dick talking about 'I'm sorry'" - Eddie Murphy

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SarahB

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:43 PM
Response to Original message

3. I agree.

I could conceive of forgiving someone in that situation if something happened where they connected to someone and took it to a physical level, but a statement like that is pretty much saying, "I just dehumanize and use women without regard to anyone's feelings." Pretty creepy.

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Withywindle

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Sat Mar-05-05 05:36 PM
Response to Reply #3

40. Exactly!

That makes it 10 times worse.

So why'd ya DO it then, asshole? Why didn't you just cut a hole in a pumpkin or something?

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cestpaspossible

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:44 PM
Response to Original message

4. "It's not what it looks like"

I can explain

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hickman1937

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:44 PM
Response to Original message

5. "I'ts your fault that I cheat"

Followed by a catalogue of her supposed faults.

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CatWoman

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:45 PM
Response to Reply #5

7. and the other variation

"All the guys have had her"

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barb162

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Sat Mar-05-05 10:57 PM
Response to Reply #5

66. chop off his dick for that narcissistic crap.

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Lucky Luciano

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:44 PM
Response to Original message

6. She reminded me of you so much

Would you prefer that she meant the world to him?!

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TyeDye75

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:46 PM
Response to Original message

8. Its just sex

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uppityperson

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:48 PM
Response to Original message

9. I didn't mean to.

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pabloseb

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:50 PM
Response to Original message

10. Only men cheat???

:shrug:

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CatWoman

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:51 PM
Response to Reply #10

11. of course not

but women are more creative in their excuses, IMHO.

This thread is about male excuses.

That ok with you?

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pabloseb

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:53 PM
Response to Reply #11

20. Yes :) n/t

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uppityperson

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:52 PM
Response to Reply #10

16. No, not saying that, just limiting topic of topic

start a topic on stupid things women say or add it on it here.

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Anarcho-Socialist

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:51 PM
Response to Original message

12. "Well you could be less cold in the bedroom"

Although can any justification for cheating be considered unstupid? Cheating is a stupid thing to do to start with. Most justifications end up being as cruel as the act itself.

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KittyWampus

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:51 PM
Response to Original message

13. Question- What's The SMARTEST Thing A Person Who's Cheated

can say?

I personally have no idea.

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steve2470

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:52 PM
Response to Reply #13

15. I'm sorry and let's go to counseling. nt

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pabloseb

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:55 PM
Response to Reply #13

22. Just tell the true reason

whatever it could be.

Cheating is not such a big deal for me (that includes being cheated on of course), but I guess I'm in the minority :)

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fit4life

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:56 PM
Response to Reply #13

26. Smartest?

Here's half of everything I own, the house, my balls, and all of my retirement accounts. Can I keep my car?

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Lucky Luciano

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Sat Mar-05-05 05:05 PM
Response to Reply #26

33. That would not be very smart!

A smart response would be something that led to him getting away with it while keeping his wife in love with him and keeping all of his stuff if she wants a divorce!

*That* would be smart!

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fit4life

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Sat Mar-05-05 06:01 PM
Response to Reply #33

47. Ok, "realistic" instead of smart...

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DS1

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Sat Mar-05-05 06:25 PM
Response to Reply #47

53. There were some times where I wasn't getting what I needed from

relationship and I found those empty holes filled by someone else, but after some soul searching I came back to my senses and realized that you are the one I truly love.

~intermission~

But damn, I sure did love filling those holes, goddamn, we'd go at it like animals, CSI would have a fucking field day scraping my DNA off the walls and pillow case and sheets and carpet and telephone, lamp, mini-bar, do not disturb sign, curtains, windows, inside the toilet's tank :D

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CatWoman

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Sat Mar-05-05 06:30 PM
Response to Reply #53

56. Martin

you're a wild one.

Not that there's anything wrong with that :D

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DS1

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Sat Mar-05-05 06:33 PM
Response to Reply #56

57. Nah, I'm just creative

My imagination came unequipped with brakes :-)

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Redstone

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Sat Mar-05-05 05:41 PM
Response to Reply #13

41. Sex? Woman? What woman? WHO ARE YOU?

The sons of bitches got to you, didn't they? You remember, don't you? YOU DON'T REMEMBER? Jesus Christ, pack your stuff. We have to get out of here, RIGHT NOW!!!

Redstone

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all.of.me

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Sat Mar-05-05 06:00 PM
Response to Reply #13

46. don't do it in the first place!! n/t

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steve2470

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:51 PM
Response to Original message

14. "That was my twin brother" nt

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Anarcho-Socialist

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:52 PM
Response to Reply #14

17. LOL

That gave me a belly-laugh.

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CatWoman

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:55 PM
Response to Reply #14

23. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!

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stopbush

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:52 PM
Response to Original message

18. "I know those wmd are around here somewhere..."

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CatWoman

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:55 PM
Response to Reply #18

25. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

:thumbsup:

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madison2000

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:53 PM
Response to Original message

19. you weren't supposed to find out

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Robeson

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:54 PM
Response to Original message

21. What woman? You're just imagining things!

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fit4life

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:55 PM
Response to Original message

24. I was thinking of you while I had sex with her!

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WI_DEM

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Sat Mar-05-05 04:59 PM
Response to Original message

27. "What most women don't understand is a man philandering

has absolutely nothing to do with their wife or girlfriend."

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name not needed

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Sat Mar-05-05 05:00 PM
Response to Original message

28. Hey, this isn't where I parked my car!

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nothingshocksmeanymore

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Sat Mar-05-05 05:03 PM
Response to Original message

29. She lost her keys. I was helping her look for them

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Misunderestimator

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Sat Mar-05-05 05:49 PM
Response to Reply #29

43. Like a scene from La Boheme...Che gelida manina.

As Rodolfo searches on the floor with Mimi for her keys...

btw... that didn't really happen did it?

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Me.

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Sat Mar-05-05 05:03 PM
Response to Original message

30. She Came On To Me

It's all her fault

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NNadir

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Sat Mar-05-05 05:05 PM
Response to Original message

31. This YOUR sister?

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nothingshocksmeanymore

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Sat Mar-05-05 05:05 PM
Response to Original message

32. She was teaching me the fine art of amateur gynecology

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steve2470

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Sat Mar-05-05 05:05 PM
Response to Original message

34. " Isn't it bad enough that she gave me the CLAP ? " nt

Edited on Sat Mar-05-05 05:07 PM by steve2470

:argh:

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Schema Thing

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Sat Mar-05-05 05:16 PM
Response to Original message

35. "I was only attracted to her mind"

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Schema Thing

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Sat Mar-05-05 05:16 PM
Response to Original message

36. *loud AHEM* "a little privacy here please?"

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JVS

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Sat Mar-05-05 07:11 PM
Response to Reply #36

61. Actually that's brilliant

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CO Liberal

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Sat Mar-05-05 05:20 PM
Response to Original message

37. "What The Hell Are YOU Doing Here?"

:-)

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Fenris

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Sat Mar-05-05 05:21 PM
Response to Original message

38. "Sorry, I just kind of fell in."

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KittyWampus

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Sat Mar-05-05 05:21 PM
Response to Original message

39. How About A Three-Way?

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pabloseb

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Sat Mar-05-05 05:43 PM
Response to Original message

42. I just wanted to scientifically confirm

that you're the best lover, so I had to make an experimental comparison.

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TreasonousBastard

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Sat Mar-05-05 05:57 PM
Response to Original message

44. I used a rubber, so it's not really sex.

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all.of.me

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Sat Mar-05-05 05:58 PM
Response to Original message

45. she wasn't as good as you, though!

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Liberal_Andy

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Sat Mar-05-05 06:15 PM
Response to Original message

49. "If I don't do it, sombody else will!"

Dr. John :yourock:

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flvegan

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Sat Mar-05-05 06:16 PM
Response to Original message

50. "It wasn't me." a la Eddie Murphy, "Delirious"

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realisticphish

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Sat Mar-05-05 06:21 PM
Response to Original message

51. No, that was you having an out-of-body experience! nt

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DS1

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Sat Mar-05-05 06:22 PM
Response to Original message

52. I needed something other than a warm bucket of water

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Bouncy Ball

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Sat Mar-05-05 06:29 PM
Response to Original message

54. Well, see, I think Saddam Hussein put those WMDs

in her "spider hole."

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fishnfla

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Sat Mar-05-05 06:29 PM
Response to Original message

55. nobody misses a slice off a cut loaf of bread

"i didnt do it on purpose, it just happened, like the tsunami"

"i felt sorry for her"

"if you cant be with the one you love, love the one you're with"

"we're mostly just friends, is all"

" we really didnt sleep together, um, it was like Clinton and Lewinsky"

oh man

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u4ic

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Sat Mar-05-05 06:57 PM
Response to Original message

58. Nothing against you

it's only nature...after all, nature designed men to 'spread their seed'.

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JVS

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Sat Mar-05-05 06:58 PM
Response to Original message

59. "I love you!"

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no_hypocrisy

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Sat Mar-05-05 07:11 PM
Response to Original message

60. "Are you going to believe me or your lyin' eyes?"

Allegedly this is a quote from Willy Nelson when caught en flagrante delicto.

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matcom

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Sat Mar-05-05 07:12 PM
Response to Original message

62. Yes, honey that was me but......

i used DS1's dick

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CatWoman

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Sat Mar-05-05 10:50 PM
Response to Reply #62

63. all two inches of it?

:evilgrin:

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Hans Delbrook

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Sat Mar-05-05 10:53 PM
Response to Original message

64. You don't know how hard it is on me, loving two people at the same time

And yes, a friend's (soon to be ex) husband actually had the UNMITIGATED gall to say that to her after he admitted he had been cheating on her for over a year - with a young girl they both worked w/. (And while my friend was pregnant w/ his child.)

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.:mad: He's so lucky I don't believe in giving in to my crazy impulses anymore.

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CatWoman

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Sat Mar-05-05 10:56 PM
Response to Reply #64

65. Or

and this is true:

You don't know how hard it is making love to two women at the same time.

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Hans Delbrook

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Sat Mar-05-05 11:02 PM
Response to Reply #65

68. These two should get together and fuck each other. nt

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MrOctober

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Sat Mar-05-05 10:57 PM
Response to Original message

67. Excuses are garbage

Cheating is INexcusable. I've been cheated on by girls and it sucks, but I don't hold it against all women. Some girls are just scum, along with some guys. We are a cheating society. 50% of marriages have cheating in them or something like that. It sucks.

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Arkana

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Sat Mar-05-05 11:03 PM
Response to Original message

69. "Oops...I made a boo-boo."

Now THAT'S stupid.

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Stop_the_War

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Sat Mar-05-05 11:04 PM
Response to Original message

70. Honey do you wanna join in and make it a threesome?

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edbermac

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Sat Mar-05-05 11:31 PM
Response to Original message

71. Why yes dear, I did have sex with her...are you really upset by that?

Why don't you go into the kitchen, cook me a nice big delicious meal and then afterwards we can sit down to talk calmly about this and I'll try to see where you're coming from...oh, and could you get me a beer while you're at it?

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derby378

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Sat Mar-05-05 11:33 PM
Response to Original message

72. "Who you gonna believe, me or your own eyes?" (n/t)

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stpalm

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Sat Mar-05-05 11:38 PM
Response to Original message

73. "I think I can handle both of you- hop in and join the party!" (nt)

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stpalm

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Sat Mar-05-05 11:40 PM
Response to Original message

74. "I was just helping move her bed towards the wall!" (nt)

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edbermac

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Sat Mar-05-05 11:41 PM
Response to Original message

75. I couldn't help it...my mistress was out of town...

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kodi

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Sat Mar-05-05 11:43 PM
Response to Original message

76. hey baby, what's wrong with you? your sister don't mean nothing to me!

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RetroLounge

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Sat Mar-05-05 11:44 PM
Response to Original message

77. "Don't blame me, I'm drunk..."

Edited on Sat Mar-05-05 11:46 PM by RetroLounge

"Oops, sorry, I tripped..."

"Well, at least she swallows..."

"Why yes, she is half your age."

"Damn, how did she get here?"

RL

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Blue-Jay

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Sat Mar-05-05 11:45 PM
Response to Original message

78. MIDORI MADE ME DO IT!!!

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tinfoilinfor2005

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Sat Mar-05-05 11:48 PM
Response to Original message

79. You didn't really see what you thought you saw...

a friend of mine actually had this line used on her.

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GOPisEvil

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Sat Mar-05-05 11:50 PM
Response to Original message

80. Oh, so THAT'S what monogamy means.

I thought it was when you had your breast exam, and since I don't have them, I figured it didn't apply to me.

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dpbrown

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Sat Mar-05-05 11:51 PM
Response to Original message

81. "She just showed up at the door."

Oh, wait. That's what Neil Bush said.

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