favorite "Clerks" quote!

Moran.

Of course he's cum-drunk.

so many lines...

"I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am"

"My 'ruse'?"

"Yes, your cunning plan to trick me."

:7

"You get me slapped with a fine, you argue with the customers and I have to patch everything up, you get us thrown out of a funeral by violating the corpse, and then to top it off, you ruin my relationship.

I mean, what's your encore? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?"

makes me crack up EVERY time

"Do you have that movie with that guy who starred in that movie last year?"

He refused to film the scene in front of the kid where he's ordering videos.

"Yeah, hello, this is RST Video, customer number 4352, I need to place an order. Okay, I need one each of the following tapes: "Whispers in the Wind", "To Each His Own", "Put It Where It Doesn't Belong", "My Pipes Need Cleaning", "All Tit-Fucking Volume 8", "I Need Your Cock", "Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers", "My Cunt Needs Shafts", "Cum Clean", "Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts", "Cum Buns III", "Cumming in Socks", "Cum On Eileen", "Huge Black Cocks and Pearly White Cum", "Men Alone II: the KY Connection", "Pink Pussy Lips", and, uh, oh yeah, "All Holes Filled with Hard Cock". Uh-huh...yeah...Oh, wait, and, what was that called again? Yeah. Happy Scrappy Hero Pups."

The video always cuts away during his order.

ok maybe not they are all great scenes

Sorry I don't have the quote, but I'm too tired to go look for my book with the screeplay in it.

"There are a bunch of fine-looking chicks in the world, but not all of them bring you lasagna to work. Most of them just cheat on you."

I love that; that recurring statement only adds to the hilarity of what's going on throughout the whole movie. But "Berserker" and all comments relating to it are definitely up there on the funniness scale, too.