Testing my three year old for autism, I need some DU prayers and vibes

My three year old flapps his hands when he gets excited, he is beginning to read, he can count past 30, he is talkative, he plays on the computer and can navigate the internet some. He is very smart for his age.

But because he flapps his hands when he gets excited my mother in law is worried. She and my father inlaw saw a special and they both are saying that they think Luke might slightly autistic. After doing some internet research I am getting kind worried. I just set up an appointment for him with the pediatrician and with a pschologist, I'm getting really freaked out and I just wanted to ask DUer's for their prayers and good vibes.

Thanks,
Melody

Curious tho - did you find something in your research that indicated flapping hands because of excitement could be a sign of autism.

for months when he was learning to talk he would point to every light and tell us about it, then it was balls, now he is obsessed with cars.

I think that behavior is normal, but my in laws are very very very worried about this. Mainly because when my son stays with them, it is like they have to win him over from scratch. They have to regain his trust every time.

Again I think that may be normal but they are sooo worried that they are making me worried, so just to be safe I am making appointments with his doctor and a pshcologist I know that specializes in the field.

think you are correct re dynamics of inlaws.

My inlaws thought I programmed son to hate them as he said "no" to everything...totally normal for a three yr old.

Take heart.. son was not allowed into kidergarton as he couldn't identify colors despite me telling school he was color blind. Had to order test from the state to prove.

He was just accepted to Royal Holloway graduate program in London.

Can tell you are a terrific Mom and you will look back at this as so ridiculous some day...just like me.

Kids do weird stuff - my daughter has tics - it's not a big deal. Now if you were to post that he echos/mimes speech or can recited dialog from movies, but can't communicate, that would be different.

I wish you all the best, and not to give you false hope, but it doesn't sound like you'll need it.

...out to you!

Sounds like the kid will be OK.

I'm sending all the good vibes I can muster. :hug: Think positive thoughts.

I know that when it comes to our children we often think the worst to prepare ourselves for whatever could be. I hope it turns out to be nothing at all. From what you have said, your son sounds like an incredible child. :hug:

http://thomasblog.typepad.com/

It is a fellow member of the Liberal Coalition, but the author has a child with Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism.

Good website and it has a petition to get more tax breaks to the parents of special needs children.

Bryant
Check it out --> http://politicalcomment.blogspot.com

early on and is now a successful doctor. Your child sounds very bright.

"flapper" but not autistic. He uses it to "blow off" his extra excitement.

jumping up and down, flapping hands, lol. the joy bursting out of every pour

A neighbors kid hopped up & down. Pent up energy.
The inlaws need to back off. Your child sounds far from autistic.

necessarily a sign of autism, but I disagree that the inlaws need to back off. Please understand this isn't meant to be a criticism of your viewpoint, but I see another side to this every day.

It sounds like the inlaws adore him (and I hope this is the case) and I wish I had more inlaws, friends, aunts, uncles, etc. bringing up concerns about development rather than less.

There is a chance that they've caused unnecessary stress by voicing their concerns, but I've seen a LOT of parents who act as though everything is fine when it's not (and this is not directed at the parent in this thread).

I cannot tell you how many times parents say to me, "I know he's not saying a lot of words by himself, or really answering questions yet, and I know that some noises really bother him and that he likes to twirl around, but Johnny is so smart! He remembers every line from the Spongebob movie, and he's reading already, he can count to 20, and he knows everything there is to know about cars. He adores cars! It's all he'll play with, and he can tell me every part, color and even the make and model of some cars."

And hearing things like this, I can't tell you how many times I've said to parents, "You know, I think you should speak to the pediatrician to rule out factors that may be impacting his speech and language abilities." It's my way of legally raising a caution flag.

Even after seeing behaviors that are not typical, many parents do not follow through (mainly due to fear, I'm sure - and I am sympathetic and understand this to a point - sometimes due to inexperience). But if there's something going on and parents don't see it, thank goodness there can be others in the family who are brave enough to speak up.

middle of nite focused out in distance and do this dance with his fingers, back and forth and back and forth. so autistic

he is in fourth grade now.

he is brilliant. highest scores on all the tests, he read encyclopedias at four, reads adult books now. a nice child, likes to follow rules, likes to be nice, easy to raise, thinks far beyond lots of adults. see the whole

but

a challenging child to teach, though maturity is making it easier. they wanted to drug him in kindergarten, first, second and third grade. only now they arent talking about it. thru time i came to a lot of conclusions of tools i could give him and suggestions to teach to help him

be wary how they label him and what they want to do

i always told son, he cant use his weakness as excuses, he merely had to embrace them, understand this is part of the whole that he is, and continually making these parts of him stronger. but no one was out to change him.

Someone once told me that we were all, to some degree, autistic.

BTW, I have a cousin who has always flapped his hands when he finds something exciting and/or funny. He does not suffer from autism.

Chin up!

as for care. In fact a single idiosyncrasy might not be too much to worry about. Because he is three and trying to communicate more than he has learned as of yet he punctuates physically. Some youngsters who have not learned enough language zoom ahead by making their own language and sharing it with siblings(roundly ignored as baby babble by adults).

First you have a kid who is bright and wants to learn and must have great hand eye coordination skills which accelerate learning. second he is three years old and could use some care for mentally speeding in a juvenile zone. Metabolism could be a more important concern. You don't mention anything peculiar about social interaction. Even if not autistic he should be helped not to concentrate too zealously on the isolating activities to the detriment of his formative years. But he does like to talk which is a plus.

Nothing you report, as you report it, is really alarming. Some budding geniuses seem to slow down after these prodigious spurts and voila, lamentable normalcy.

Always check with your pediatrician before diagnosing with waiting room magazines or in laws.

Come and meet us in DU's spiffy new Disability Issues forum:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topics&forum=250

he plays on the computer and can navigate the internet some

It'd sure be nice to have another ally out there... in another ten years maybe... :-)

K-A
your "atypical" DUer

was 2 he started saying 'huh?' to just about everything said to him. We could not get through to his mother (my daughter-in-law) that this was normal 2 year old behavior and he was NOT deaf. She put that poor child through almost 18 months of running from doctor to doctor and spending all kinds of money on tests because she (it seemed) WANTED someone to tell her something other than it was normal 2 year old behavior.

Kids at that age have very little ways of expressing excitement. So they flap, they dance, they jump up and down, they turn in circles. My youngest would even run backwards when he'd get really hyped up.

So, have some tests done, but I think you're going to find that what you have is an extremely bright child whose ideas are running faster than his ability to communicate them and the hand flapping is a form of body English to try to get them out quicker.

:hug:

who's now 13 used to flail his arms around when he was excited when he was 2-3. We just figured he must have been Italian in a past life. He's absolutely fine now and probably stopped flailing his arms around when his communication skills improved.

Prayers and good vibes to you of coourse. And maybe consider trying to visualize him thoroughly happy and healthy in the future.

Maybe also consider getting second and third opinions if you are not happy with the initial prognosis. Not suggesting that might happen though.

thimerasol in vaccine and flu shots? Please take a look at this web site nomercury.org

I hate to admit this but I flip around on the TV in the morning and have caught Imus talking about a connection between vaccines and autism. In-fact I just called another one of my daughters this am and told her to go to this web site. My grandchildren are all fine so far but people really should be aware of this possible mercury/thimerasol connection to autism. Be sure to peruse the whole site and just block your nose about Imus. Plus there is a way to possibly reverse the damage done by thimerasol/mercury.

I hope all is well with your child.

So as not to confuse anyone, I am writing this under one of my daughters screen name. In other words I am Riding's mother.

been discounted by recent reams of research. Please check NIMH and university/child development websites. I'll be glad to recommend some websites for you if you like.

Sending good energy your way and tons of positive vibes to both of you. I hope everything turns out. Be sure to post any news. :) :hug:

How are his communication skills? He's very young, but does he seem to understand age appropriate humor? Can he engage in recriprocal communication (i.e. listen and respond appropriately)? And, does he talk and play with his peers, or shy away from contact?

he follows them around and plays well with them.

Vocally he is doing very well, he is a very good talker and has been since he hit 2, sentences and structure. Humorwise, I think he is normal, he laughs when I act silly, he loves to watch his daddy juggle and he thinks that it is hilarious when things or people on tv fall down.

I've seen a lot of hand flapping and toe walking among young kids. Most of the time this is just developmental and means nothing. It won't hurt to have him checked out though. Make sure a speech/language pathologist is part of the assessment. Best wishes! :)

component, but having said that, I work with a lot of kids with autism who are communicating rather well. However, they have difficulty with pragmatic language (social issues) and many young children prefer playing with older kids rather than kids their own age, since the older kids help them compensate since they EXPECT them to be younger.

So, while great communication is a terrific asset, it's not in and of itself proof that no other disorder exists.

Not trying to be a party pooper, just trying to add some info.

My aunt just saw some TV thing about autism and now she's convinced my son's autistic. :eyes: His verbal skills are a bit behind for his age but other than that he doesn't behave like an autistic child at all.

Sounds like they saw the same thing. I wouldn't worry about it, the intentionally scare people on those shows to generate ratings.

LK did the hand flapping thing for a bit, then his language skills improved somewhat and he found better ways to express excitement. He's almost four and sounds a lot like Luke, reading a bit, interested in computers, really smart.

I'll be thinking good thoughts for you and Luke.

How's toilet training going? (My mom's solution was to let me run around the backyard naked. It worked.)

I learned to read and talk when I was four, and the first things I read were "The Watchtower" and "Awake" magazines. (Man, did those scar me for life...)

Fortunately the Jehovah's Witnesses asked my mom to leave, and the Quakers took us right in. (Oh, and I have some amusing Catholic stories too!)

But honestly, I was a pretty sweet kid until my teeanage years, when I put my parents through hell. A lot of teens do that, just not the way I did.

You have my prayers, and "good vibes."

My kids couldn't count past thirty or read until four/five, and they're fine, straight A's and well socialized. Hopefully the 'special' doesn't apply. I respect the sciences in these matters, but still always stay skeptical when it comes to me and mine. Typical parent, I'll bet.

Hi, my wife has been doing daycare out of our home for about 5-years and we have two of our own children so I have been around a few kids. She has one child who is much older than your boy and he does the same thing. Other than that he is a normal, outgoing, intelligent and healthy kid. My own boy, when he was that age, used to blink his eyes really fast in succession and we started to get worried about it too. We took him to a specialist, they did some developmental tests and he was normal. We stopped paying attention to it and he eventually stopped doing it. I'm no doctor, but it seems to me that what I was seeing is a child's inability to express themselves in a well-developed manner. If it were me I would tell the in-laws to get bent and wait it out for awhile.

Just my .02

Jay

I wouldn't consider autism...as language impoverishment or delay is a must for a diagnosis of Autism. If it turns out that he has some Asperger's (usually have to wait until past the age of 7 for a stronger confirmation), it may be challenging but far far far away from your child's life being ruined.

I have an 8 year old who is autistic spectrum, and sounds much like your son. At least you are catching it early, no matter what it turns out to be.

Hugs, prayers and positive thoughts to you and your family!

And I had to drop the hint years ago that there was a problem.

Her 7-year old is mildly autistic. Talks now and makes eye contact, but still prefers to be by himself.

Her 6-year old on the other hand doesn't usually speak more than one one, flaps hands, and is pretty much "in his own world."

PM me for any questions. I know about autistic children bec I used to babysit 25 years ago for a child w/ autism.

There is an epidemic of autism and most all public schools have autistic classes.

Google for developmental stages in children. It's very good.

who is ADHD and has gone through hell and back
with the public schools . I'm so proud of you for
getting this test now before your child gets thrown
into school .

I wish I had done testing before mine entered school.

My prayers and strength are sent to you and yours .

:hug: feel free to pm me if you ever need a shoulder .

tells you, don't borrow trouble. Sounds to me like he's connected to the world and you will find out good things. Ask every question you ever had. I had six year olds who did that when they were happy or excited. Let us know how you are. We love you and your son.

She is very talkative to her mom and I and other significant people in her life, including kids. She is somewhat shy at playgroups with lots of kids. However, she gets that from her dad (me). Moreover, after getting to know a few kids for awhile, she warms up and loves to play with them. She has a very sweet temperament.

I don't believe that she is at all delayed, but she has not even begun reading, and she can count to 12. She can operate a mouse or a touchpad on the laptop nearly as well as I.

She flaps quite a lot when she is excited. I find it endearing. Although, at one time, I was a little worried. Mostly, I was worried for the same reasons as you. Although I did not see the TV special, I knew that arm-flapping was one of the many signs of autism. However, she does not seem to show the other signs and she engages in surprisingly sophisticated debates about whether or not cookies are good for her, or whether or not it is time to go night-night.

I think that this is kind of a neat story. We also have an infant son. When we took him for a well-baby check at the pediatrician's office, he let out a stream of pee, right on the pediatrician's pants. My wife was standing there, holding a clean and dry cloth diaper in her hand. It would have been very easy for her to place the diaper over the stream of pee and prevent a messy situation from getting worse. However, my wife stood straight up, got very excited, and started flapping her arms!

I guess that is when I realized that my daughter has inherited some of my shyness and my wife's arm flapping. However, she communicates well with others and is a very sweet girl.

I am wishing you the best -- and hoping that you do not worry too much! My good vibes are going your way!

and some Autistic kids aren't affectionate and some are. Other clues are lack of communication and poor eye contact. It's a spectrum and all are affected in different ways. In addition it is sometimes not so easy to diagnose at such a young age. There is lots of information and help out there these days as well as several autism message boards on yahoo groups where parents can find help and support.

Take care, I'm sending good vibes and prayers your way. :hug:

to you because I have a 9 year old with High Functioning Autism, which if your son has Autism it sounds like he'll also be high functioning. When I went to post it the thread was locked and moved. I don't have time to re-write the whole post (I'm at work) so I'll just say please PM me if the test comes up positive. My wife and I have been and are still going through it, we can probably help.


*Edit* There is a link here you may be interested in. Apparently a preservative called Thimerasol, which has been banned on use for animals, has been being used in childrens vaccines. Since they started using it incidences of Autism are up over 1000%. Alot of parents are suing..

http://www.monheit.com/thimerosal/t_what.shtml

for more info on Thimersol and the lawsuits just google: Autism Lawsuit

Oh and this was ment to be a response to the original post... sorry

We will get him tested to be on the safe side, but I feel much more calm about the entire situation.

I love you all. Your advice, prayers, and good vibes were exactly what I needed.

I'll keep you posted.

Again, thank you so much.

Melody

but perseverate about topics (thinking Asperger's here). I've worked with three kids whose language was a little delayed, but not much - but who would always steer the conversation toward what THEY wanted to talk about.

Autism is pretty damn hard, especially for parents. But, speaking as a trained psychologist, from what you said Luke doesn't sound autistic. Or at worst only very mildly so.

Obviously he's intelligent. And he is connecting with the world around him. That doesn't describe autism.

Let's face it, little kids are weird. That's just the facts. But Luke sounds like he is interested in the world he lives in, he is making connections.

So keep your Drs appointments... but whatever they say get a second opinion.

I don't think you have anything to worry about - except his intelligence and curiosity is going to drive you crazy in a few years.

And if he does turn out to be autistic (which I don't think will happen) there is nothing like a parent's love. If he is autistic, he'll need you more than ever.

But it doesn't sound like autism to me. It sounds like a bright little boy who doesn't fit the stereotype of a toddler.

I wish you and him the best.

Khash.

My youngest brother flapped his arms constantly as a young child, we still have adorable pictures of it. Now he's a completely normal, awesome 14 year old. Don't worry, I bet your little one is fine! Good luck!

:hug:

The hand flapping could just be self-stim. Common in austism but really common in young children. Self-stim is just a way for them to control a situation where they may feel overwhelmed. Rocking back and forth is one of the most common forms.
Hell, I was 24 and scared and I tried rocking one night. It really does calm you. I might have to try that again someday.
I really wouldn't worry-there are so many other symptoms that your child probably doesn't have. And there would have been warnings-usually earlier than this. It's good to go for the test but I would put most of it in the back of my mind, if I were you.

:hug:

:hug: Melodybe

My three year old flapps his hands when he gets excited,

There is nothing wrong with that! :bounce:
Sitting still is greatly overrated.
Some of us need to be in motion. :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

he is beginning to read, he can count past 30, he is talkative, he plays on the computer and can navigate the internet some. He is very smart for his age.

Great!

But because he flapps his hands when he gets excited my mother in law is worried. She and my father inlaw saw a special and they both are saying that they think Luke might slightly autistic.

It's possible. Autistic traits are quite common, and there is a wide
spectrum. Most people with autistic traits are not disabled by them. The computer industry is full of people who are smart and
somewhat autistic.

If the only traits you are seeing are some stimming (which is what the hand flapping is), high intelligence, and being ahead of his age level on a number of important milestones, then your son seems more blessed than afflicted at the moment.

I just set up an appointment for him with the pediatrician and with a pschologist

Do be wary of some of the attempts they might make to "fix" him.

The professionals often seem to have an obsession with stopping us
from stimming. I don't understand it. They often prescribe dangerous drugs to prevent it, as well as expensive and questionable behavioral techniques. Stimming is only a problem if somebody else makes it a problem.

I think stimming is a natural defense against becoming excessively
sedentary. As such, we should cultivate it, rather than attempting
to suppress it. We need to develop more and better stims.
We can do stealthy stims too, since some people don't understand.
Twirling my feet while I'm seated, for instance -- done that since
I was in kindergarden -- teachers had a thing about sitting perfectly
still, but they couldn't see through the desk ;-).

Lack of exercise tends to make me stim more. I tend not to stim at
all for a while right if I've just gotten a LOT of exercise.

Dancing is the best stim of all,
Does your son show any inclination to dance?

:bounce:

is 3 right? He's a child, so he flaps his hands when he's excited. I flap my hands when I'm excited. It's a normal thing. If your son was autistic your pediatric would of seen signs of it by now. Children tend to do strange things when they are young.

Is he very sociable? Does he look people in the eye and interact with them as most kids would? What else makes you worry about him?

Good luck, and may nothing be wrong.

he is he loves it. When his cousins or friends come over he follows them around and plays with them.

Eyecontact is something I hadn't paid attention to but I will be more observant. As far as I know he doesn't seem to have a problem with eye contact, he looks at you when he talks to you and he loves playing games where you cut your eyes. Peekaboo is also still a fun game for him.

The appointment is Tuesday @ 2 and I'll tell ya'll the prognosis.

I really am feeling better about all of this, thanks to everyone who shared their own stories.

Thanks to everyone for their good thoughts and prayers, I feel it ya'll.

Where would I be without DU? Sanity in a the shape of a screen and keyboard, I am so touched that so many replied.

Again I love you guys!

Take care,
Melody

PS: I also made a point of calling my Senators (Lott and Cochran) about the bankruptcy bill and telling them how evil they are. Joe Biden also got a call, cause he especially gets on my nerves. I told his office that I don't even live in Delaware but I would make a point to send money to whoever was running against him.

And on the bright side I think I finally convinced my repub father in law not to be a republican, as of today he is calling himself a liberatarian.

Thanks again DUers!:grouphug: :yourock: :headbang:

like peekaboo. The eye contact creeps them out. I sincerely think your little guy is perfectly fine, and very intelligent and sweet.

(from the mom of a fine little guy, now age 22)

my son has Asperger's a form of autism...he flapped his hand and tippy toe walks even now...
but he is highly functional and will be in the chess tournament tomorrow....

and for his family as well.

Being autistic myself (well, asperger's) and have managed to survive.

Not easy, but it's possible.

If he's got it, it can't be cured. I wouldn't want to be cured. I've done nothing wrong. I just want a society that treats people well, as a society working forward collectively. Not this greed bullshit that most politicians (of both sides) seem to prefer.

:hug:

Get other opinions.

it is so easy to have children labeled at such a young age, they carry this label all their lives and many times there is nothing wrong.

My son has autism and it's not the end of the world. . .it's just a different world. My best to you and your family.

:pals:

worked with who were autistic tended to be slower rather than ahead of the game.

I had my own little boy evaluated for certain reasons.. not that we thought he was autistic per se but that something was going on. And we were right, he does have sensory integration issues.

So, good luck and prayers, and trust that whatever is determined that everything will be ok in the long run. :)

I can only hope things are okay, BUT!!! - if he comes back with a diagnosis of autism or PDD, please please please don't put him in a box you've labeled "autism" and mourn.

I've worked with too many kids who are diagnosed with autism who are doing so incredibly well, that everyone is happy and proud and amazed at their progress.

FYI, kids flapping hands when they're excited happens, autistic or not. It's the kids who flap their hands for self-stimulation that I'd worry about.

Best thoughts to you at this time!

I don't have the kind of experience that you have, but I have dealt with some autistic kids in the classroom. Agreed 100%.

If he did not connect with people I would be worried, but he does, and he has a great personality.

He is most at ease with most people, he is a very nice kid. He is kinda moody and introspective, though. But that doesn't worry me, he's smart and this is a crazy world we live in. I'm sure he's aware of alot that is going on around him. I tell him I love him all the time, we come from a tough lot and I think that he'll be alright.

I just got freaked out b/c my m-i-l was talking about his diet. Something about bread and dairy being bad. On which I call BS, b/c organic bread and dairy is exceptionally good for you. It says good longer to.

I've talked to a number of pschologists here today, and I feel a lot better. Smart kids live in their own worlds, for me, growing up a liberal southern girl was very interesting. Luke is alright, he's just smart, and that makes me feel proud.


Well thanks again everyone,

Take care,
Melody

BTW I'm slightly dyslexic or I am just unusually bad with spelling and grammer, one of the two. So to all the grammer nazis out there I want to apologize, I will never learn the comma. I'm sorry.

is reknowned for his uncanny accuracy in diagnosing PDD among clients. Compared to most doctors, it's not easy to get a diagnosis of PDD as he follows a very stringent list of criteria in order for a child to be considered as having Austitm, PDD-NOS, or Asperger's. From how you describe your son, he wouldn't come close to being diagnosed with PDD. Of course, I cannot say with certainty as we haven't met your son...but I wouldn't worry too much.