Can we all agree that living at home with your mother is the ultimate sin?

Sarcasm, of course. It's just interesting. Both here and on our right wing parody site, it seems like saying someone lives at home with their parents (especially in their parents' basement!) is the ultimate stereotype for both the left and the right.

Is that the most terrible thing we can find to criticize about people?

:crazy:

what if your parents had a really nice basement? And coming from a new yorker, isn't it nicer to live in your parents basement than to pay 1600 a month to live in some stranger's basement?

for adult children to live at home until...well, until they feel like *not* living at home. But them furriners are all a bunch of momma's boys anyway, so that would make sense, eh? ;)

Spottin fools frontin fly, girls act material
(You live at home with your mom!)

I spot MC's on BET with the fake zirconia bezel Rolex
Lookin like virgin with the see-through back bought from
the Indian kid off the rack -- sterling silver delivery
Y'all tryin to fool me actin bougie with the platinum wannabe
It look real, stainless steel appeal, that's not the Presidential
Let's keep it confidential; you ordered that fuckin kit
in the ad in The Source boss -- step up your rep up
in genuine fashion I caught your ass in;
with your name on the rented car lease

http://www.ohhla.com/anonymous/dr_dooom/served/you_live.doo.txt

on edit: A woman who is merely *old enough* to be your mother, on the other hand, is perfectly kosher.

Your mama?

:P

old fashioned. There's nothing wrong with it. :hi:

if that was the worst *sin*.

I mean, if Freepers = people who live with their moms, and LIEbruls = people who live with their moms, then it seems like we should all be getting along a little better! :crazy:

If everyone would try a little tenderness as they go about their day - I'm sure the ripple effect would be beneficial.

I know a musician in that position and he has access to a .44, he's living with his frail elderly mom, this guy had his parental rights terminated long ago. He was also involved in a fatal fight outside a Green Bay tavern.

For decades he has opened his family's house to many musicians to jam in the basement on the weekends.

I stopped hanging out there about 4 years ago because of the vibes he gives off:crazy:

your own intuition.

Sadly alot of unsavory people also end up staying at home and they do it because they have no consience.They havent got a reason,they are not trying to heal..They don't care and they want to be taken care of because they can.How much did this guy give back? I bet if his mom wouldn't have him there he'd have to change his con,seek out vunerable lonely women with money or something,,charm them into free loging with his "dreams of making it in music"..

but I do worry with the .44 being there.
The TPR is a cross I know I couldn't bear yet he just carries on. Woe.

They just have to have no consience.
Blackouts and control games shows he has a significant lack of consience IMHO.

addiction is a disease first.

Because I have PSTD.I wish I could make it and"be normal" and all.I tried to and it almost killed me.I can't afford to lose therapy and be unable to get medicine and help. I can't afford to heal any other way.

How ignorant and self serving of such remarks.

I'd like to ask a rich republican asshole,

Does he care about those who he screwed in the business world to keep his parasitic ass well padded?
Does he REALLY care about the well being of the people he dominates?
Does he care about the possible hundreds of people that he gaslights into letting him off the hook for abusing them just to get a thrill of making them jump when he wants them to?
Is life all a big game to this ass..

Try poverty motherfucker,endure love, try being left to suffer and make it alone from scratch and pull bootstraps like he expects others to do and feeling concern for others at the same time, Having conscience and having a heart is harder than winning a fucking game. .Republicans are bullies and they are fake when it comes to success and love in their lives.
People like this creep should be seen for the greedy reptiles they are. And the GOP should be seen as the deviant criminals they are,treated with no more compassion ,given no trust ,no money,no power,or excuses for their self serving predatory heartlessness .
Fuck the republicans they are lizard hearted sociopaths out to win.
They will destroy everything around themselves to dominate it all and win.

:hug:

I wish I could hug you back. for real. I always feel really guilty and insecure about all this. I can't"make it" in the usual sense because I got too many triggers. and I am still blaming myself alot. When repug assholes talk like this it makes me want to punch thier lights out.
Because I knowe full well they have NEVER had to feel what I feel.

I'm sorry you're in the situation you're in, but you're making the best of it, and that is all any of us can do.

It's the only way they can make it, financially. She's 29 and she has lived on her own. But she's a teacher, her dad's a teacher, and her mom's a bookkeeper.

They converted the garage a long time ago to make it her bedroom. And they took a tax refund a few years back and added on an office and bathroom to her garage bedroom. It has outside access. So she has a nice private little suite. The house was paid off a few years ago and it's tiny, but it suits their purposes.

All three of them contribute to the household finances. They invited her to move back in with them because she was teaching right there in the same city and the same district as her dad and where her parents were living. She had gotten a master's degree and had assloads of student loan debt.

They love each other very much, are very close and get along quite well. My friend does all the cooking (because that's what she's best at), her mom cleans the inside of the house (except the grown daughter's room) and the dad does all the outside work and the laundry (the mom has a slight disability so can only do so much).

They travel together, go camping together and enjoy one another's company. She is an only child and they have always been close.

She also has a serious boyfriend now. He lives in an apartment nearby. He gets along with her family, too.

I see nothing wrong with that and I pass no judgement on people for their living conditions, as long as no one is breaking any laws.

...and I am somewhat embarrassed that it's an acceptable negative stereotype here on DU.

My husband lived with his parents until we moved in together and got married. That's how he managed to save enough money for a down-payment on our house so early in our marriage. :shrug:

is something wrong with that ?

That was my point in starting this thread. I'm tired of it being the punch line.

for women versus men. :shrug: Had your friend been a man, I wonder if the response would be different.

I see nothing wrong with what your friend is doing. What she is doing is financially smart.

If I had my druthers, it would never have come to this. So, I guess I am a bad person.

There is NOTHING wrong with it, if you ask me.

True. But I wouldn't if I had the choice.

a Big Darth vader figure..I bought him when I was a kid.He's well played with.

lived in the cottage behind our house and an uncle too. Later our blended family rented to the uncle and his wife-it's natural until something like this tragedy occurs.

Also, it's a guy thing to deride living arrangements past a certain age.

My father lost his faculties and his vision due to a stroke five years before he died and was in a wheelchair and required 24 hour care. I worked all day and went home at night and took care of my father. After he died 7 years ago, my mother was in and out of the hospital for one thing or another (broken hip, pneumonia several times)

Had I not helped them, they would have lost everything.

And to think..the people hurling that insult think THEY as a straight person have something to tell ME about family values. :eyes:

When my father died, my mother did not want to live alone. She persuaded (and that's the nice way of putting it) the youngest of her five children to move back in with her. He was the easiest to latch onto because he lived in town and wasn't established in a relationship or a career. A jack of all trades, master of none who drifted in and out of a variety of jobs.

She helped him out financially, it's true. He never could have afforded on his own the standard of living he enjoyed living with her. For his part, he worked, more or less steadily, and looked after Mom's car, home and, most importantly, Mom herself. He always had a project going on her behalf - planting, painting, tiling, refinishing, repairing. He took her fishing, camping and traveling. He was her security and protection as well as her companion. He was someone she could cook for, and talk to, and laugh with. She was a rather solitary person who needed him as much as he needed her.

And though some of the kids refused to see it, he was our peace of mind in regards to our mother. None of the rest of us ever had to drop everything to go help her or take care of her. Throughout her final illness, we came to help as often as we could, but he was the one who bore the brunt. For 16 years he was loyal to her, and when I executed her estate I tried to repay some of that loyalty.

BTW, he met a wonderful woman not long after her death, and they have been happily married for several years.

Here's to my lil bro, and all kids who look after their folks! :loveya:

it has fallen to me..I don't begrudge it but it hasn't been a bed of roses AND I buy groceries not just for my mother but for another family member who has had hard times...it would be CHEAPER for me to live elsewhere

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

...but the ultimate penalty.

If I had to live with my mother again, I think I would use a contingency plan that would involve a shotgun, a fifth of Scotch and a badly written note.

I couldn't stand living with my Mother again. It would drive me crazy and an innocent bystander might end up being hurt. I guess my strong sense of independence is a result of her extremely controlling behavior. I can't even accept help from her. It always becomes an excuse to criticize my choices and attempt to control me, even if its in a small inconsequential way.

whenever his landlord kicks him out for living like an animal. This guy fits the bill in terms of the stereotype we're speaking of: he's an alcoholic, jumps from job to job because he's never happy; he is verbally abusive to his mother and never helps out around the place. At 76, she does his laundry, dishes etc. although she won't go in the room he sleeps in because he's forbidden it. Oddly, the man is very intelligent and is always impeccably dressed. Of course, so would I be if Mommy did all my ironing!

Let her out, for God's sake! The woman can't just sit in the dark crocheting tea cozys for the black market all day long!

We live very seperate lives, she doesn't cook or clean for me (or even for my daughter, very much); it is good for both of us financially, and good for my daughter's connection to family and stability. If I followed my ego totally however, I'd be gone, that's for sure. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't be more tuned to my ego, and less to practicality. Then again, maybe I'm just bothered because I don't have freedom of speech to say "hah, the fundy gunman lived with his mom!".

It implies that you might need mom to help take care of your daughter, and grandmom has to be better than some sort of paid nanny or whatever.

I also don't judge folks who live w/their ailing parent(s), since I may be in the same boat one day (as the only one who lives in the area).

He owns the house and supports her financially. She cooks and cleans. His deadbeat brother crashes on the couch for months at a time. Actually, I really respect his dedication to his family. I don't think I could put up with half of the shit he does.

but I believe that a little bit of European tradition played into this. My great-grandparents were immigrants and lived with my grandfather until they died. My grandfather owned a big house and he hated to be alone and actually enjoyed it when his sons stayed at home, especially after my grandmother died. At one point we had about 8 people living there (including an old friend of my grandfather who was down on his luck) and it was great. The house was full of life and activity. Slowly but surely everyone moved out or died. By the time my grandfather passed away it was just my father and I living in this house all alone. It was sad really, we had to sell it and buy a smaller place.

With that said as soon as I'm out of college and have the financial means, I'm gone!

Corporations NEED that money, foo! If you stay at home, then they only sell one sofa, one washer/dryer set, two tvs (instead of maybe four), etc, etc, etc.

*sigh*

;)

They have noticed this thread too.

Are you surprised? :P

I know that Tony's mentioned that it's common/expected that, in his culture, unmarried males will live with their parents until they marry.

yet so many are having to do just that right now because of the economy (even I have been contemplating it. I haven't been receiving my child support on any regular basis and the bills are getting higher and higher-even w/ two jobs). I used to make fun of it but now I am starting to understand it.
I just hope for the basement!

sponges off or takes advantage of his or her parents.

Someone living with his or her parents out of necessity and contributing to the household in a way agreed upon by all parties seems like a case of "whatever works for them."

A friend of mine is very well to do and he bought his Mom's house and gave her "usufruct," the right to live there as long as she lives. Anyone who would think he is pathetic or dependent because he lives with his mom has it completely wrong. A lot of older women, especially divorced older women, benefit from this. Now if the adult child has never worked and is living with his Mom, OK, something is wrong, agreed.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

It's karma for something very bad you did in a past life.

I'm still trying to make enough money to get an apartment with some roomates and live in my kick-ass college town year-round. But so far I still live in the dorms.

And there's nothing wrong with living in your parent's basement provided you have a job or are going to school.

Now being a mooching freeloader is a different story...

until he was 29. His dad traveled a lot and his mom didn't like being alone at night. Plus he worked 60+ hours a week and couldn't see paying rent on his own place never to be there. It was a good arrangement for all.

...my buddy Dave is 50 years old and has never lived away from his parents. His maturity level is about that of a 16-year-old.

I describe Dave's relationship with his mother as "emotional incest." I shudder to think of what's going to happen to Dave when his mom dies! I seriously doubt he'll be able to cope.