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Favorite colloquialisms: "I could eat the ass end off a dead wino"

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Tom Yossarian Joad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-17-05 07:23 PM
Original message
Favorite colloquialisms: "I could eat the ass end off a dead wino"
Or "Tighter than Dick's hat band."

(Who the hell is Dick anyway?)
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Bok_Tukalo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-17-05 07:26 PM
Response to Original message
1. "He doesn't know within fifty miles where he shit last"
<eom>
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mikebl Donating Member (99 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-18-05 12:11 PM
Response to Reply #1
27. my favorites
straight as an indian going to shit

higher than balls on a giraffe (as in the price of something)
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Dogmudgeon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-17-05 07:26 PM
Response to Original message
2. "Smack my ass and call me (girl's name here)"
As for the girls' names, so far I've heard Susie, Judy, Sally, and Pinky.

And Fred. For some reason.

--p!
More confused than a blind man in an art gallery
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Bunny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-17-05 07:45 PM
Response to Reply #2
15. Tie me to the bedpost and call me Ruth.
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Bouncy Ball Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-17-05 07:30 PM
Response to Original message
3. It's colder than a witch's titty in a brass bra.
Sorry, but that one always cracks me up.
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KG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-17-05 07:35 PM
Response to Original message
4. colder 'n a well diggers' ass!
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KittyWampus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-17-05 07:40 PM
Response to Reply #4
7. Ghost Of Saturday Night?
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sasquatch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-17-05 07:42 PM
Response to Reply #4
10. That never made any sense to me
What is it that makes the well diggers ass cold.
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sasquatch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-17-05 07:42 PM
Response to Reply #4
11. That never made any sense to me
What is it that makes the well diggers ass cold.
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KG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-17-05 07:43 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. for real?
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leftofthedial Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-17-05 07:35 PM
Response to Original message
5. dig a hole and go to hell
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Dave Reynolds Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-17-05 07:38 PM
Response to Original message
6. Throw your hands up and fall through your asshole.
Funny visual from my father-in-law.
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KittyWampus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-17-05 07:41 PM
Response to Original message
8. Sorta Related, "Dickhead" Always Results In My Getting A Visual
of a dick-head.
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-17-05 07:41 PM
Response to Original message
9. Butter my ass and call me a biscuit.
Edited on Thu Mar-17-05 07:41 PM by JimmyJazz
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Cuban_Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-17-05 07:43 PM
Response to Original message
12. "Pretty as a speckled pup"
:)
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Bunny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-17-05 07:44 PM
Response to Original message
14. He shits too close to the house, but he's okay.
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sasquatch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-17-05 07:45 PM
Response to Original message
16. "It was darker then a black steers tuckus on a moonless night."
:D
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TOhioLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-17-05 07:46 PM
Response to Original message
17. My grandpa's favorite...
...referring to an icy day...'It's slicker than snot on a doorknob out' Sorry about the visual. :shrug:
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Malikshah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-18-05 12:44 PM
Response to Reply #17
36. My grandma's fav. "You can't swing a dead cat without hitting ..."
Edited on Fri Mar-18-05 12:45 PM by Malikshah
Used for ubiquitous things

BTW-- I'm a cat lover and cat owner-- So folks reading this back off or else Kes will go medieval ninja kitty on your behind.

:)
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HalfManHalfBiscuit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-17-05 07:54 PM
Response to Original message
18. Raining like a cow peeing on a flat rock n/t
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fudge stripe cookays Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-18-05 12:44 PM
Response to Reply #18
35. I always heard it as....
"Louder than a 3-peckered goat peeing on a flat rock!"

FSC
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-17-05 07:57 PM
Response to Original message
19. Up shit creek in a chickenwire canoe.
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KG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-17-05 08:00 PM
Response to Original message
20. cooler than the other side of the pillow.
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ulysses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-17-05 08:02 PM
Response to Original message
21. crazier than a shithouse rat
:hi:
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Whimsy Donating Member (45 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-18-05 01:40 AM
Response to Original message
22. Picnic
She (or he) is one sandwich short of a picnic.
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Dogmudgeon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-18-05 11:55 AM
Response to Reply #22
23. One chip shy of a full board
--p!
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jus_the_facts Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-18-05 12:01 PM
Response to Original message
24. rode hard and put up wet.....
:D
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July Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-18-05 12:03 PM
Response to Original message
25. Nuttier than squirrel shit. nt
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-18-05 12:04 PM
Response to Original message
26. Slicker than a melt. Number than a pounded hake.
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kmla Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-18-05 12:22 PM
Response to Original message
28. "Wouldn't have him up my ass if I had room for a boxcar."
"That guy's so stupid he doesn't know shit from a good grade of peanut butter."

"You are lower than whale shit."
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guitar man Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-18-05 12:29 PM
Response to Original message
29. Dumber in the head
than a hog is in his ass!
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TahitiNut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-18-05 12:38 PM
Response to Original message
30. "Hurry! Hell ain't half full!"
My grandfather's G-rated rant at speeding drivers.
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kwassa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-18-05 12:39 PM
Response to Original message
31. Hot enough to roast the balls off a brass monkey
Said to me by a woman who looked like my sweet little grandmother.
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kwassa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-18-05 12:40 PM
Response to Reply #31
32. Just between you, me, and the lamppost
something that should be secret between us
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kwassa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-18-05 12:42 PM
Response to Original message
33. One taco short of a combo platter
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ChoralScholar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-18-05 12:42 PM
Response to Original message
34. Dumber than a box of chicken beaks. EOM
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libnnc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-18-05 12:44 PM
Response to Original message
37. "didn't know whether to shit, run or go blind..."
as in: was so confused or flummoxed.

or

"didn't know whether to scratch my ass or wind my watch..."
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Blue-Jay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-18-05 12:46 PM
Response to Original message
38. "Raining like piss pouring out of a boot"
That one is from my dad.
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m_welby Donating Member (508 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-18-05 01:02 PM
Response to Original message
39. there are so many...
Inherited from my father. a couple of my favorites...

'You can want in one hand and shit in the other' (always when we would ask him for something)

'In and out like a hens ass' (when we would go in and out the door repeatedly, and no i dont understand it)

..and then there's the classic...

He doesnt have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of (referring to someone of limited means)
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