If you are in a relationship is it ok to have crushes?

There are a number of lovely ladies that I work with and I talk to Stephie about it. This isn't an issue for us (in fact it always makes for hilarity) but I'm wondering what the concensus is here as I know everyone's different.

Whether you believe it's OK or not to have crushes in a relationship, you're going to have crushes.

What you do with those crushes, however, is another matter entirely, and if you end up sneaking around, hiding things from your SO, or acting on the crush when you don't have an open relationship, etc., then you've got problems.

agree.

You're absolutely right.

I had to end a relationship once because I could not feel the same way about the guy after I knew he had a crush on someone else.

I was just so hurt because he didn't try to hide it.
Although, I have had crushes (successfully covert) and it hasn't effected the relationship.

I think catching a guy at girl-watching is kinda funny.

Myself, I have no interest for anyone else except for my significant other. I blow off women no matter how hot they are because I have someone there for me. The thing that sucks is I have more opportunity when I'm in a relationship then when I'm not. When I'm not it seems like NO woman wants anything to do with me. However, a friend I work with talks about how HOT this girl or that girl is and openly admits to his fiancee. I recall a coversation Him: "I was thinking about talking to (Supervisor's first name) about sitting me next to that hot girl as motivation to hit my quota" Fiancee"You're pathetic"(with a laugh) He tells me he asked his fiancee if he could bring a woman home with him. I guess it all depends on the relationship, some women(some guys are like this too) I've met you can't even have an ex :silly:

crush.

I have a TV crush, a work crush and so on.

It just adds a little excitement to the day.

:)

All staff meeting - wanna be my date?

Going to the school auction - I'll be your date!

Grocery shopping? Be my date!

that's too cute.

Just don't act on it. You cheat on Steph and I'll hunt you down and stick hot bamboo shoots under your fingernails.

I just wanted to make fun of people who like Aerosmith - like you numbnuts!

But I'll take it.

For fun, I keep a running list of my celeb crushes. If I was in a steady relationship, my list that includes Katie Holmes, Colleen Haskell, Alyssa Milano, Kaley Cuoco, Eliza Dushku, Scarlett Johansson, Natalie Portman, Jennifer Connelly, Amber Tamblyn, Amanda Peet, Sharon Case, Lauren Woodland, Ashley Jones, Andrea Corr, and others would cease.

And make sure crushes aren't taking up your time when you should be thinking about the person you are in a relationship with.

Jennifer Connely looked better before she got all skinny. She was one of the 1st girls I ever had a crush on - when she was in Labyrinth.

I don't mind skinny as long as it's not rail thin. Anyway, she's looking better lately again. :-)

Better personality. And right now, she's looking just as beautiful again. But Salma is great, too. She is also on my list.

I mean, wow -

http://www21.addr.com/~almeath/photos/newer_a/html/ballure3.html

Also, "crushes" can send the wrong message. I'm a single female, and I cannot count how many married men have had obvious "crushes" on me.

It's a wierd thing to sense a crush, especially if I am very attracted to the man in question, only to find out he's actually married. Kinda sucks, really!

When I'm in committed relationships, I keep my eye on my boyfriend only, and I wouldn't be comfortable if he developed crushes on others. Just my individual take on this.

At least, I've never looked at a guy and thought, "Okay, I'm going to have a crush on him." It's always been, "Oooh, myyyyy!"

But as I learned the hard way, if a man starts talking about his crush to his ladyfriend and won't shut up about her, it's a sign that the relationship is doomed.

I keep telling you CSTT, I'm a happily married man, not that I don't apprectiate it.

Besides, I'm a HUGE Aerosmith fan!

PUHLEEEZ! :eyes:

I'm gooooiinnggg dooowwwnnnnnnnnnnnn

:cry:

As for me, I don't define a crush as thinking someone is hot. I define a crush as having feelings for someone, being infatuated with them.

That said, I do not think it's ok to have crushes while you're in a relationship. I think it means there's something amiss in the relationship, actually.

I have noticed that when I'm happy in a relationship, I will notice attractive and interesting people and think 'my, they're a good catch', but those thoughts never transform into an infatuation. It is only when the relationship starts going bad that the possibility of me becoming infatuated with another person develops.

Maybe that's just me.

:shrug:

I just find some women dreamy, such as yourself :loveya:

then I've got a crush on you, too, baybee!

:loveya:

trying to police your own emotions tends to lead off the cliff in my own experience... doesn't mean they are going to get acted upon anyhow.

:shrug:

Because it's inevitable and involuntary. Much healthier if you and your partner can talk about them and laugh about them and have "crush contests," IMO. Part of the best part of a true crush is unattainability; you know it'll never happen and you don't actually even want it to really happen, but fantasy is worthwhile in its own right.

The guys in my life who tried to make me feel guilty about appreciating the "widespread beauty of nature" were the ones who didn't last long and aren't missed.