If I worked in a department store, I would.....

You fill it in!

Ok if I worked in a department store, I would speak in a faux British accent at random times, ask people if they're being served, whip out a measuring tape and start measuring their inseam (especially if I worked in electronics or fine china), and build crazy props like rotating cups on a bra.

What would you do?

when someone came up to me I would have a big grin and say, "YEEEEEESSSSS"

Oh! Oh! SUITS YOU!

thanks, Bouncy!! :)

so I could go sit in the break room until the crowds and long lines diminished. }(

Damn.

And say "Denny Crane".

I've always wanted to be a perfume sprayer, but I know my passive-aggressiveness would get me canned within the day.

Who is to say that patrons wouldn't appreciate being sprayed with fine imported mustard just as much? :shrug:

THAT would be fun!

I'd never ask permission, I'd just spray people.

"Let's see, YOU smell stinky (spray, spray), and YOU smell stinky (spray, spray) and YOU need some perfume (spray, spray)."

And I'd giggle too much doing it. I'm telling you I wouldn't last one shift.

I can't help myself.

I have nothing on topic to post. I'll go away now.

Hey, talk in a British accent here in the lounge. That'd be fun!

pretend the customers were in a Twilight Zone time warp.

Get a big wig, too. HUGE flouncy skirt, tiny waisted, button up blouse with a Peter Pan collar.

What a riot.

Be sure to have a hanky in your tiny purse.

"Look, it's Joe DiMaggio!" and then bang on the counter loudly and make Strange noises...BEEEEP!!!....AHHH!!...WhOOO!!

in a department store, or doesn't any longer.

:D

I quit the glamourous milieu of the department store curtain department to move to NYC. :P

Actually...you know..we may have hit on something.

Geez..The store would be so weird and strange that it would be Hip!

1. Start a church (cha-CHING!!!)

2. Sell Jesus merchandise (Jeez-Its, Jesus toilet paper, etc.) to fundies.

3. Start a department store. You are right, it would be SO wild and wonky, it'd be totally hip. The problem would be keeping ourselves from killing each other. Especially during the primaries.

"I don't 'arf fancy you!"

You could go around dropping a couple boxes of condoms into people's carts when they weren't looking.

:o

and only accept public library cards.

Oh, and I would page myself over the intercom ... often.

Why do you ask? :D

Provision of excellent customer service is a dying trade. Makes me mad.

Although I don't provide much customer service to anyone unless they ask for it -- we go on the premise that most people would rather pick out a dildo on their own.

We even have a sign up to that effect - "We don't bother our customers, but we would be happy to assist you. Please ask for help if you have any questions"

I actually like it when people ask for help. I will put batteries in toys, give my reccomendations, etc. Due to our market, we carry a lot of low end toys - and spending $5.00 more for a better version of a toy can lead to a lot more satisfaction!

One of the few times I will bother the customers is the 50+ guy in the cock rings. There are many different styles and some education is really helpful to finding the right one for you.

That, and to steer people away from the desensitizing creams. If someone walks right up to it, grabs it and brings it to the register, I'll sell it to them, but if they are studying the packages, I'll suggest lanacane from the drug store instead.

There is a local dept store in town that still gives decent customer service. If I ever need any more employees, I think I'll try to steal someone from there.

I worked at Dillards for a couple of years a long time back, and absolutely despised that job. My poor feets were never the same after having to stand IN FREAKING HEELS for 8+ hours a day.

and you can even watch TV on the security monitor if there is no one in the store.....