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Cheerleading camp or a cruise with your dad?

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WilmywoodNCparalegal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 05:47 PM
Original message
Cheerleading camp or a cruise with your dad?
Ok, so I'm getting into a heated debate over another forum for people going on a cruise.

It's about this 9 yr old girl who lives with her mom and is scheduled to go on cruise with her dad, step mom and family.

Now, the dilemma arises from the fact that this 9 yo girl is heavily involved in competitive cheerleading and there is a mandatory camp she needs to attend at the same time of the (prepaid) cruise.

My stand on the issue is that she should go on the cruise because the time she will get to spend with her dad is irreplaceable, while a cheerleading camp can be "made up" in some way.

What do ya'll think?
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KitchenWitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 05:49 PM
Response to Original message
1. Agreed
plus the fact that the money for the cruise will be lost.
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 05:49 PM
Response to Original message
2. Hmmm Will she get booted off the team? It might not get made
up as easily as you think. :(

Let me know how this turns out. As a coach I am interested to know. (And no, I don't boot kids off my team for having conflicts of interest. But some will do that.)
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Technowitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 05:49 PM
Response to Original message
3. Ask the 9 year old what she wants
I might try to talk it through with her though, to help lay out all the ramifications.

Kids can come to amazingly intelligent and compassionate decisions, once they understand all the facts.
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Speck Tater Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 05:59 PM
Response to Original message
4. She needs to do exactly what she wants to do.
Edited on Mon Mar-21-05 06:00 PM by fiziwig
This is as good a time as any to learn to stop bending your life into a pretzel just to meet the expectations of others.

(ed:sp)
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crispini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 06:01 PM
Response to Original message
5. Huh, tough call.
My thoughts are that if the family has already paid for the cruise, well, I'm sorry, but I'm booked up on those dates. My calendar is strictly first-come-first-served, that's how I make my decisions, and don't expect me to change my plans just because "something new" has popped up. It's only fair to allow people plenty of warning.

BUT, what are the ramifications of "mandatory?" Can she not be on the team if she doesn't attend the camp?
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 06:21 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. Then, too, which costs more? Camp ain't cheap, and neither is
Edited on Mon Mar-21-05 06:21 PM by GreenPartyVoter
competitive cheerleading if the family buys her uniform/accessories and gear and classes and travel to and from the meets. (So I think the concern over the prepaid cruise has to weigh the cost of cheering, esp if she gets cut from the team for not going.)
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Radical Activist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 06:28 PM
Response to Original message
7. A cheerleading camp for 9 year olds?
Can't they wait a few years to make their daughter a sexual object for sports games?
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 07:23 PM
Response to Reply #7
13. It's a competitive team. Probably doesn't cheer at games at all.
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 06:33 PM
Response to Original message
8. I think there must be a lack of communication in that family
And I think a lot would depend on what the kid wants herself as well as what sort of relationship she has with her dad and step-mom. If that relationship is at all difficult or awkward, forcing her to go on this cruise if she has her heart set on the cheerleading camp could only serve to make her resentful which would set the whole dynamic back still further.

Ideally, the cruise should not have been booked until everyone was clear on everyones' schedule. So my answer would be that it depends on a lot of factors but treating the kid's obligation as something that is somehow less important is not the answer, IMO.

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Ready4Change Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 06:39 PM
Response to Original message
9. "Mandetory" cheerleading camp?
I think some people in the cheerleading community need some sense of perspective.

Let's see, submit my childhood life to an activity with no redeeming social value and with little prospects of career, etc...

Or spend time as a youth with family.

I feel the same way about gymnastics. It's a good activity, good for physical development, feelings of self worth, etc...

But it has to be kept in perspective.

9 year olds needs play time. They need time with family. They need time away from the "work" of school, and olympic dreams and cheerleading and beauty queen fantasies.

Just my .02
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WI_DEM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 06:42 PM
Response to Original message
10. She's 9 years old she has plenty of time to be a cheerleader
My vote would be to go on a cruise with her family.
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Lars39 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 06:43 PM
Response to Original message
11. I remember being 9 yo
Edited on Mon Mar-21-05 06:46 PM by Lars39
and I don't remember EVER being consulted about family vacations. Even thinking about opting out was not on the horizon.
Family comes first.
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Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 06:45 PM
Response to Original message
12. Although 9ys old seems a bit young for mandatory cheerleading camp
I don't knock Cheerleading as many do here. Like any sport (and YES it is a SPORT) it requires dedication and practice - something we don't have enough of today.

BUT...the whole mandatory camp thing at 9 years old just seems odd...
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Worst Username Ever Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 07:23 PM
Response to Original message
14. Cruise n/t
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ikojo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 07:25 PM
Response to Original message
15. I agree...as a child of divorce I would have loved spending time with
my dad at nine years of age. Sure she will be upset about missing the cheerleading camp but when she is in her 30s she will remember the cruise more fondly (I hope) than the cheerleading camp.
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Pithlet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 07:28 PM
Response to Original message
16. I'd make her go on the cruise.
Plenty of time for cheer leading and other school activities. And not only because the tickets are prepaid and nonrefundable, although that helps. When she grows up, she'll be glad someone made her spend time with her family on the cruise, and the memories will mean so much more.
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Nailzberg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 07:33 PM
Response to Original message
17. I think the importance of camp is overstated
It is fun, and you work your ass off, too, but considering all the other time being put into practices and clinics, throwing a girl off the team for a family commitment is pretty lame. I hope that this isn't the case here.

I think the girl should go on the cruise.
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Fleshdancer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 07:35 PM
Response to Original message
18. I think this is a pretty tough situation
Competitive cheerleading is a sport and she has a team that is counting on her. Going to this camp probably takes a level of discipline that can be good for kids that age...especially when they can see that putting in the hard work leads to success. That's not exactly a bad thing.

However, spending time with her family is important too. How often does she see her dad? Is it possible to either explain the situation with the cheerleading coaches so she can go on the cruise or talk with the father to schedule a different "vacation" where she goes and stays with dad for a few weeks?

What does the nine year old think?
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Bzzzz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 07:44 PM
Response to Original message
19. Cruise...
hands down. Besides, cheerleading is soooo overrated. How many professional cheerleaders do you know????
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 09:59 PM
Response to Reply #19
20. It's an up and coming thing
http://whatisprox.com/

But really, what does it matter if you can turn it into a job? It's good to have hobbies, too.
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steve2470 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 10:01 PM
Response to Original message
21. I agree with you, being a daddy myself nt
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bobthedrummer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-21-05 10:10 PM
Response to Original message
22. The cruise with dad is "irreplaceable" indeed.
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