This Can't Be True Can It? It's Just So Strange, Odd And Bizarre!!

PRESIDENT ADVOCATES SINGLE PRAYER HEALTHCARE SYSTEM

UPS - Washington, D.C. - Approximately 81.8 million Americans, one out of three people under 65 years of age, were uninsured during 2003-2004, Said President Bush at his news conference today.

Bush continued, “Also, one out of three non-elderly Americans are without health insurance. This constitutes an enormous epidemic that requires immediate attention,” “It is high time that this problem rises to the top of our national agenda,” President Bush concluded.

The President argued that “government is never the solution, it’s intervention just causes problems.” He suggested, therefore, that “if our wonderful market-driven capitalistic entramanures can’t solve the health care crisis, and neither can the government, then we must turn to the Lord.” The President is a born-again, fundamentalist Christian who has said,”...sure I hear voices all the time and, trust me, they are communications from someone I completely trust and have turned my life over to.”

The President stated that, because of his close ties to “true believers” he will be able to send out a “healing prayer team” to every single uninsured American who has a life-threatening illness.

When contacted by a reporter, the Reverand Bama Boomer, pastor of the Church Of Armageddon in Broken Urinal Georgia, praised President Bush’s faith-based approach to the national health crisis. Rev. Boomer stated that he had been reached by telephone by Bush’s Department Of Health, Education, And Chastity and had been asked to lead one of the healing prayer teams. Boomer reportedly stated, “We got a real mess to clean up here in Broken Urinal. Lot a folks is real sick and they sure hasn’t got no health insurance.”

The Reverand continued,”but prayer is powerful. I 'a been handling rattlesnakes in church on Sundays fer years and I ain’t been biten yet. It’s that kind of faith in prayer that will heal the seriously sick and terminally ill. It’s a real substitute for the care provided by a licensed Medical Doctor.”

Sister Shawnaleeza Brown of the Christian Center Of Hope in Los Angeles said she had also been contacted by the Department of Health, Education and Chastity. Sister Brown primarily works with troubled youth in South Los Angeles. The center is funded under a faith-based federal grant which pays $l,000,000 yearly. Stated Brown, “I will pray for any uninsured gravely ill child of the Lord if they has kept their vows of chastity. Otherwise, they be sh** out of luck.”

Then the numerous misspellings and general grammatical nightmarishness of the whole piece would be.

ALL HAIL BUSH!!!!

Landover Baptist is at it again, my fav-or-ite parody site - :)