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I am offended when you disparage my cooking.

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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-27-05 01:06 AM
Original message
I am offended when you disparage my cooking.
Here is why you shouldn't.

1) What do I look like, a short-order cook in a greasy spoon? This isn't a restaurant. Shut up and eat.

2) Sometimes in life you have to eat what you should, not what you want. Suck it up.

3) I put a lot of work into this meal and don't want to sit down to tableful of longfaced mopes. Show a little gratitude.

4) Try something new once in a while! You may like it!

5) You don't like what I serve, you make dinner, Mr. Five-Year-Old.
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Fenris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-27-05 01:12 AM
Response to Original message
1. DU is a hotbed of anti-gourmondism, and I won't stand for it!
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sundog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-27-05 01:14 AM
Response to Original message
2. don't disparage disparaging
ok?

:P
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TrustingDog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-27-05 01:17 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. is that a new herb, disparage? do you pinch it or chop it?
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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-27-05 01:19 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. When I broil a steak over the open fire in GD,
I sprinkle some disparage on it.
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sundog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-27-05 01:22 AM
Response to Reply #4
7. make sure you marinate it in some lambaste first
It really brings out the flavor :7
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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-27-05 10:02 AM
Response to Reply #7
9. LOL!
'Course I tenderize it by tearing it a few new assholes, too.
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KitchenWitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-29-05 12:46 AM
Response to Reply #9
15. meat also needs a good slathering of troll as well
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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-29-05 12:50 AM
Response to Reply #15
16. I serve julienned troll on the side.
along with fricassee of disrupter.
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KitchenWitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-29-05 12:50 AM
Response to Reply #16
17. yum
Is flamebait in your dessert course?
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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-29-05 12:52 AM
Response to Reply #17
18. Thread Flambé is delicious
I pour gasoline on it, then light it with shouting matches.
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sundog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-29-05 01:01 AM
Response to Reply #16
19. and for dessert, Bullshite Flambe followed by a Tinto Cao Sour Grapes Port
to top off the evening
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-27-05 01:20 AM
Response to Original message
5. We have a rule at my house.
Several rules, actually.

1. Kiss the cook and say "Thank you."

2. Choke it down, even if it gags you. You can vomit later in the privacy of our luxurious guest bathroom.

3. If you can't choke it down, share it with our cat.
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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-27-05 10:03 AM
Response to Reply #5
10. I'm getting those engraved on stone
and mounted in a prominent place in our kitchen. Thank you.
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-29-05 12:32 AM
Response to Reply #10
12. You're welcome . . .
And if your dinner guests forget the rules, you can always "remind" them with a whack over the head, using the stone tablet bearing "The Rules." :)
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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-29-05 12:44 AM
Response to Reply #12
13. I was thinking
that the next time they greet my handwork with frowns and disparaging comments I'll auction off their dinner on eBay.
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-29-05 12:46 AM
Response to Reply #13
14. Good idea!
And make sure that your guests are among the bidders! If I were you, I'd make them "buy back" their dinner with their "allowance." Ingrates!
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samplegirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-29-05 01:44 AM
Response to Reply #13
21. lol lol lol
to damn funny
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miss_kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-27-05 01:21 AM
Response to Original message
6. Mom? Izzat you?
I thought you were DEAD!
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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-27-05 09:50 PM
Response to Reply #6
11. I may not be your mom
But I'm somebody's mom! So shut up and eat!
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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-27-05 01:26 AM
Response to Original message
8. woh....it's........
cryin' time again....you're gonna feed me...
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samplegirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-29-05 01:43 AM
Response to Original message
20. lol
you forgot one......It might grow hair on your chest.
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