I just found out my mother's pet crip was paroled. What should I do?

Background Info:

My father was very controlling. He wouldn't let my mother go places. If she did get to go somewhere, he would freak out if she wasn't home by the exact time she said she would be. When he died, my mother went ballistic. She now had free reign and sought to control everyone else.

She also went a bit nuts. While working as a correctional officer at the local prison, she had become friends with a crip from LA. After she retired, she kept in contact with him. When he had some troubles, she helped him break parole by letting him move in with us. I had no say in the matter and it freaked me out. He had a huge rap sheet and despite my mother's assurances that this gangster had merely been in the wrong place at the wrong time (many, many times), I was afraid of him.

Then she helped him move into an apartment in Modesto, which was totally against the terms of his parole. This convict was her pet project. She warned me against telling anyone in the family, making me promise to keep my mouth shut, yet wanted to involve this man in my life.

A lot of weird-ass stuff happened. The crip went down to LA and got himself shot up by rival gangsters. They hit him seven times, but he still didn't die. My crazy mother drove down to see him every week while he was on the mend. It's an 8 to 9 hour drive and she went every week. My brother, the correctional officer, still doesn't know a thing about it.

Finally, he got picked up on a parole violation and went back to prison. Recently, I used the Megan's Law pages to keep tabs on him. He was listed as incarcerated, but today while telling the story in another thread I opened up the Megan's Law pages again and discovered that he has been paroled.

Sweet Jesus...should I tell my brother and stop this shit from happening again???? My brother is violent and cruel, so I'm a bit worried about his reaction. Still, I really don't think this is a good secret to keep.

until you mentioned that your brother is violent and cruel i was all for calling him...but now I don't know. is there anyone else you can turn to besides him?

Has mom said anything about him contacting her or vice versa? Maybe she doesn't know? Can you call his parole officer or is that private?

It sounds like he never hurt your mom or you directly - phyically or otherwise, is that the case? Not that she should enable him to violate parole or anything, but is he a threat? It sounds like you were saying that he was still involved with the gang life, but I am not sure. If that's the case, then of course, it's dangerous.

sorry I am not more helpful. :-)

:hug:

by anyone who's 'gunnning' for him. I mean, it's like 50 cent almost; shot 7 times and didn't die. How many of those shots missed and hit stuff around the guy???

...not listing your phone, and forgetting you ever had a family. OK, maybe not moving to the east coast-- that's beyond the pale. Seriously though, you can't change your mother or your brother, but they're both worrying you. It's an irreconcilable situation, at least as you've described it-- distance is the only remedy, IMO. I speak from some experience-- I haven't communicated with most of my family in decades, and that's just fine with me (they're uber conservative fundy repigs of the worst stripe). I don't know where any of them are, and would not recognize them on the street. THEY NOW CAUSE ME NO PAIN OR DISTRESS WHATSOEVER.

And you can't force adults to protect themselves from folks like your mother's friend. But you can protect yourself from the emotional fallout that's sure to follow your mother's poor judgment. I'd wash my hands of the whole thing if I were you, and I'd stop trying to track the guy. He's your mom's problem, not yours.

...becoming involved in my life again. A large part of me believes he wouldn't hurt anyone, but I'm just afraid enough to worry. If he believes only my mother and I know about him and something goes wrong...well, you see...

I understand your situation, and I'll light a little pagan candle for you. Guidance and protection, Ladyhawk . . .

:wtf:

You need to do some brief counseling with someone who knows about trauma and family dynamics. Take some time and find them and just lay it out. This is way too ocmplicated to figure out online and you'd have someone who has seen many situations like this in your corner. Give it a shot. You may start at the local program for domestic violence. Just tell thlem what you need and you'll get help. You're in a pretty good area for that. Good luck and do something for yourself soon.

At least that way I'm not the only one who knows about this. My mother can do whatever she wants as long as it doesn't adversely affect others. I suppose she'll be spending a lot of time in LA again, but if she helps him break parole again...I don't know.

ok, that's all.

You should become a writer

and tell them what's up. Is he allowed to live with a corrections officer?

young to move away?