Somebody knock some sense into me, please.

People are dying, people are starving, people are homeless.

Usually I'm grateful that I have a place to live, food to eat, everything that I need.

This afternoon I looked around my apartment and started feeling sorry for myself because I realized that everything I have is something I needed and was either given to me or the cheapest I could find to buy. I don't have a single thing that I CHOSE.

Why should that matter? Am I succumbing to our materialistic culture? Should I throw out the 13" TV (that was given to me) before I sink into a deep depression? HELP!!!!

you didn't waste money.
you didn't fall victim to stupid advertising and spend your money on useless junk.
maybe you could choose a few items for yourself without going nuts....a few books? (check your public library...they often sell old volumes pretty cheap.)

or try giving away a couple of items YOU choose....doesn't have to be wildly expensive, but it feels good to give stuff to people who appreciate it.

but don't feel bad about anything you mentioned here..

(as in there's one born every minute).

I have a question though; have you been following the Terri Schiavo case and if so have you been watching more tv than usual? Because the feelings you are describing are exactly how advertisers want you to feel, it's their target emotion.

delete - replied to the wrong thread

But I think you're right--this is scary.

I immerse myself in community where people brag about getting things for the cheapest price or for nothing. I also belong to freecycle.org in two counties. Once you get into that cheapskate, "got over on you, sucker that paid full price" kind of mentality, you can sneer at people that pay out the wazo for stuff that you wrangle for free or next to nothing. You get tightwad pride.

I've read tightwad gazette, and my mattress came from freecycle, but I've never heard of stretcher.com and I'll have to check it out. I think I always have felt good about not being overly materialistic, at least until today, and what I probably need to do is to try to return to my former mindset. Thank you.

you enough to give you things. Many people don't have that, or even something close to that. and be proud of your thrift, it's a virtue. Most rich people didn't become rich because they spent unwisely.

I am WAY more proud of my bargains than I am of the expensive crap I put on credit before I grew up. It embarasses me to have expensive things, they remind me of foolish days and remaining credit card balances.

You are better off, believe me. (I have a hand-me-down couch next to a $500.00 chair in my living room, and my TV sits on found (in the trash) wooden typewriter crates.)

edited: forgot a parenthese

from a shelter.
then you will have chosen wisely.

....when I had pets in the past, I found I was buying better things for them than I ever would for myself. At the moment my budget wouldn't even cover birdseed, but you do have a good point.

There is nothing wrong with having hand-me-downs. It's a form of recycling. If you have a problem with the appearance, try to rearrange things so that they are more to your liking.

If you are not dissatisfied with the appearance, but just with the fact that they are hand-me-downs, stop worrying. My friends and I are always exchanging things, taking hand-me-downs, etc. I try to find homes for things, and when I can't, I take them to a thrift shop. Many items are usable that people just can't use anymore. It's better that they have found a home with you than landed in a trash dump, causing more pollution.

Even people with money participate in this merry-go-round of passed along items. If something is useful to you, take it. It's a great way to "shop".

The advice re buying books at the library is good. I donate books to the library because I have no room to keep them. They sell those books for $1 apiece. Great bargains.

When a neighbor of mine had to move suddenly, I spent the whole night taking 500 books out of his apartment into mine because I just couldn't bear for them to hit the trash. (The building employees would have discarded them.) The library was thrilled with the 400 books I gave them, and I have been reading and donating the other 100 a little at a time.

Be happy that you can acquire things for free. It's a benefit to the environment and to your budget.

I'm not really dissatisfied with the appearance, and I certainly don't mind hand-me-downs. I consider my library card my most important possession. Sometimes I buy new (important) books on the credit card, and when I've read them I give them to a librarian friend who reads them and then passes them along to friends and family (who include several other librarians with library purchasing decision power) before donating them to a needy community college library.

I certainly am happy that I can acquire things cheaply or for free. I actually had a DVD player that I'd bought new (cheap, but new), and after I'd seen all the movies I'd missed (that included most of the classics, most from the library and quite a few from free trials with DVD-by-mail companies) I couldn't stand seeing it just sitting there and I donated it to a childrens' charity.

What set me off was that I'm trying to stop smoking, and I looked at my cigarette rolling machine and realized that it is a top-of-the-line model (I've had it several years and it cost about $40). Then I looked around and realized that absolutely nothing else I have is top-of-the-line. Then I remembered that I didn't just choose the cigarette machine, but struggled for years with cheaper models that were harder to use or broke down quickly before I bought it.

There are still a few things I think I need. A small table (my big dictionary, purchased at a friends of the library book sale, is sitting on a cardboard box covered with a throw I won at a senior center raffle) and a small file cabinet, both of which will come from thrift stores as soon as I find them. And a base for my mattress--IKEA has one for $50 which I plan to get as soon as my friend with the pick-up truck has time to help me get it home.

It isn't that I don't have new things, or that the things I do have are hand-me-downs, it is that I realized that I don't have a CHOICE. Or could it be that I actually made a subconscious choice? If I have everything that I need, why is having a choice important to me?

not to go into debt to acquire these things. That is the wisest choice you could have made.

I'm sure you've seen other people struggle with credit card debt. You must also know that things are about to get a lot worse for those with credit card debt.

Some people choose their own furnishings and equipment, but at the same time choose to be in debt. In that sense, you have made a choice, and it was a wise one.

I fear for anyone in credit card debt right now. This is going to be a horror.

Anyway, you are probably more critical at this time because you are quitting smoking. That interferes with trying to have a serene attitude.

Good luck.

Absolutely!

Been there, still there a little bit.
Having no choice in furnishings,etc. is very demoralizing to one's sense of independence.
It can really do a number on the self-esteem.
I had to learn to give myself permission to buy anything other than necessities,
which was hard, because I'm not really materialistic.

What I discovered I was missing was music and art.
Little by little I've been striving to bring things that
make me happy(because I chose them) into my life.

A new/used cd of music I like, a small plant, a tablecloth,
artwork,etc. Just something I can glance at or listen to that brings me pleasure. Nothing expensive,just meaningful.

Yeah, just call me Martha. :)

That really sounds like it could work for me. Thank you.

go into debt to get the "things" you want.
But where does that end? More stuff?

that is not a sane choice, and I am deeply concerned for the generation growing of age right now because they already had everything, what is le3ft?

but that is a different question

Sounds like you have what you need. What you need is good weather, some good wine, good conversation and a good read.

That will fix you up.

I seem to have it all. I just got some library books, the weather here in San Diego is perfect, and you can't ask for better conversation than DU.

In fact, I'm smiling for the first time since the doldrums (or nicotine withdrawal as the case may be) came over me yesterday.

Choice or no choice, I couldn't ask for a better life or better friends. Thank you.

Despite the fact that I was unreasonably feeling sorry for myself, nobody mocked me or trivialized the problem, and everyone came through with positive feedback. And you got me through it.

YOU ROCK!