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Headlines We'd Like to Read, April 1, 2005

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skip fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 10:15 AM
Original message
Headlines We'd Like to Read, April 1, 2005
Falwell's Near-Death Scrape Leads to Revelation: He's Really a Ted Kennedy Liberal!


(well, a bit long for a headline . . . but maybe not on this of all days)
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LiberalEsto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 10:19 AM
Response to Original message
1. Pope jumps up,
Edited on Fri Apr-01-05 10:20 AM by LiberalEsto
shouts "April Fool" in Latin. Millions of Catholics stunned, then cheer Pope's recovery.





I'm not trying to be tasteless -- wouldn't people love it if that were true?
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Commie Pinko Dirtbag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 10:34 AM
Response to Reply #1
6. I've always thought
you can do extremely outrageous humor without being disrespectful. That mental image is just TOO much.
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punpirate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 10:23 AM
Response to Original message
2. Bush Pounds Sand
Would turn out to be a story about him golfing and getting stuck in a sandtrap with this press....
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skip fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 10:54 AM
Response to Reply #2
7. But SOOOO evocative!
Got any wood?
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Jack Rabbit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 10:25 AM
Response to Original message
3. Bush and Cheney indicted for war crimes, resign
Edited on Fri Apr-01-05 10:25 AM by Jack Rabbit
!!
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jdots Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 10:31 AM
Response to Original message
4. Ann Coulter dumps Condi for Micheal Jackson
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 10:31 AM
Response to Original message
5. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
MisterP Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:39 PM
Response to Reply #5
19. Smiting means exactly that, you're smiting. Uhh, it means--smiters smite
the smitten, with smiting.
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skip fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 10:57 AM
Response to Original message
8. Wolfowitz Pawns World Bank to Halliburton
(subtitled)

Looks Forward to Final Future
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skip fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 10:58 AM
Response to Original message
9. Bush Found Delusional in East Wing
(subtitled)

Asking Staff If They Have Any Wood
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skip fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 11:01 AM
Response to Original message
10. Falwell Claims to Have Met King in Coma
(subtitled)

Has Breakdown When He Finds He's Related
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Bullwinkle925 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 01:03 PM
Response to Reply #10
35. Martin Luther or Elvis Aaron?
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BurtWorm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 11:02 AM
Response to Original message
11. Intelligence Panel Finds None in White House
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Aiptasia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 11:04 AM
Response to Original message
12. GOP drinks the kool-aide.. Bush reaches for the pretzels..
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Zuni Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 11:05 AM
Response to Original message
13. Ann Coulter is really michael jackson!
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skip fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 11:42 AM
Response to Original message
14. Terri Schiavo's Parents Claim Stuffed Animal Talked
Edited on Fri Apr-01-05 11:44 AM by skip fox
(c0ntinued)

and told them a story of two children, a girl and a boy, who lived in a cabin beside a perfumed stream with fresh candy hanging like melons from all the trees and birds who loved to be ridden hovered above the mountains while every day was Saterday and it never rained . . . etc.
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skip fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:00 PM
Response to Original message
15. Trying to Channel Christ, Bush Has Final Breakdown
:toast:
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skip fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:06 PM
Response to Original message
16. Ann Coulter's DNA Matches Alien's
Edited on Fri Apr-01-05 12:07 PM by skip fox
:toast:
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skip fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:26 PM
Response to Original message
17. Bush Excludes Three Cabinet Members frm Town Hall Event
(subtitle)

SS Claims They Ask Too Many of Their Own Questions
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BurtWorm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:38 PM
Response to Original message
18. Jesus Makes Appearance Just to Say Religious Right Is Wrong
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tjwash Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:43 PM
Response to Reply #18
21. "Minutes after Jesus' press release, he is nailed back on to cross."
nt
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skip fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:50 PM
Response to Reply #21
28. sweet
:toast:
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BurtWorm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:40 PM
Response to Original message
20. Supreme Court Rules Bush's Very Existence Violates Constitution
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Endangered Specie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:43 PM
Response to Original message
22. NASA successfully tests faster than light space ship
:)
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Seabiscuit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:43 PM
Response to Original message
23. All Neocons dragged out of bed in legirons headed for Gitmo!
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Seabiscuit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:45 PM
Response to Reply #23
24. Jesse Jackson exposed: really Don King in drag.
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Zuni Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:48 PM
Response to Original message
25. Hannity caught with armload of kiddie porn
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CO Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:50 PM
Response to Reply #25
31. In a Motel Room With a Boy Scout Troop and a Goat
:-)
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BBradley Donating Member (645 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:48 PM
Response to Original message
26. Plane full of Republican politicians collides with
plane full of 80's hair metal bands.
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Zuni Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:49 PM
Response to Original message
27. DeLay feeding tube removed
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Zuni Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:50 PM
Response to Original message
29. Falwell a frequent guest at Neverland Ranch
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Allenberg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:50 PM
Response to Original message
30. Johnny Cochran Convinces St. Peter...
"I got OJ Free, Can't Send Me to Hell For Eternity"
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skip fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:53 PM
Response to Original message
32. "Why can't we all just get along?" New on CA Licence Plates
:toast:
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skip fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:56 PM
Response to Original message
33. Virgin Mary in Washerwoman's Sponge
Edited on Fri Apr-01-05 12:59 PM by skip fox
(subtitle)

Prays for Miracle of E-Bay
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skip fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 01:01 PM
Response to Original message
34. O'Reilly Discovers Dictionary: Hides in Shame
:toast:
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skip fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 01:09 PM
Response to Original message
36. Rove Blushes at Cheney Speech
or maybe just "Rove Blushes" (short and sweet)!
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Zuni Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 01:13 PM
Response to Original message
37. O'Reilly spotted pantless on NYC subway
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skip fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 01:21 PM
Response to Original message
38. Nanny Confesses: O'Reilly an Illegal Alien
Edited on Fri Apr-01-05 01:22 PM by skip fox
:toast:
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skip fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 01:58 PM
Response to Original message
39. Wolfowitz Confirmed at Mental Illness Center
Edited on Fri Apr-01-05 02:04 PM by skip fox
:toast:
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skip fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 04:04 PM
Response to Original message
40. Bush Maintains Existence of WMDs Will Be Found
Edited on Fri Apr-01-05 04:05 PM by skip fox
(subtitle)

Claims Christ Told Him Where They Were

(subtitle 2)

Will Also Continue to Fight for Private Accounts in SS

(subtitle 3)

Rove Reported Ill
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skip fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 04:28 PM
Response to Original message
41. Magnolia Trees Revolt: Southern Reign of Terror Ensues
:toast:
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skip fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 04:45 PM
Response to Original message
42. Neocons Propose Elimination of All Dictionaries: Claim We're in a Post-
Definition World Anyway
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