Question about crushes - Democratic Underground

Doctor_J

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Fri Apr-01-05 11:08 PM
Original message

Question about crushes

Say you're in a relationship, but have found yourself jonesing for another. At what point does it pass from "normal and harmless" to "hurtful and malignant"?

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Left Is Write

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Fri Apr-01-05 11:10 PM
Response to Original message

1. I'd say "jonesing" is not a good sign.

I think crushes are normal, especially if they are usually relatively short-lived. A harmless crush might not be so harmless, though, if it has turned into longing and real desire.

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Doctor_J

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Fri Apr-01-05 11:17 PM
Response to Reply #1

4. Well, if it turns into desire,

should you run with it, or run away from it, come back to earth and work on your relationship?

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Left Is Write

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Fri Apr-01-05 11:29 PM
Response to Reply #4

6. How important is your relationship to you?

There is no crush worth risking my relationship with my husband. For me, I'd run away.

I can't make that decision for someone else.

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GreenPartyVoter

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Fri Apr-01-05 11:12 PM
Response to Original message

2. It's hurtful when you:

find yourself preferring to spend time with (or thinking about) the crush instead of the SO

find yourself comparing the two and SO is on the losing end

You talk about the crush openly and constantly so that the SO eventually gets a clue.

Have you entered the danger zone yet?

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Doctor_J

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Fri Apr-01-05 11:19 PM
Response to Reply #2

5. I am more trying to analyze this clinically

my kids are both in relationships, and it's interesting to watch how they handle interference.

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MominTN

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Fri Apr-01-05 11:12 PM
Response to Original message

3. Run

if you want to keep your relationship.

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