anyone else feel like an alien in their own family?

I come from a very concervative, Southern Baptist, and ultra-racist family. Yet, here I am as a Liberal, converting to Judaism, lesbian. It is seriously hard on me when I visit my family. I have to come home, take a MEDICALLY PRESCRIBED anxiety pill, and sleep for hours just to clear my mind. I see them once a week, as we live in the same town.

Talk to the rabbi, he (or she) may give you good hints

But one thing you have to understand, we all walk our own routes, and our own ways... and at times we have to leave our relatives behind

Hey my father watches fox every time he comes to visit not because he is a Puke mind you... English is his oh what fifth language? They use small words, but I cannot stand FOX... so I leave the room any longer... Heck I cannot stand CNN.. He even tried the other day to talk about the Pope and I am like, dad... he really does not matter that much and yes I know about his life... (We are Jewish so don't ask)

Now if you ever need to talk about things we are yuor other family... here at DU

who were good, solid, civil-rights-lovin' LIBERALS until about the mid-90s when they flipped out or something and started supporting their precious "second amenment rights." I have no idea what motivated this transition. They are the reason I have the values I have today, but...they've changed so radically it's hard to look at them anymore. Though she spends a lot of time ripping "bleeding heart Democrats," my mom refuses to vote Republican (she's pro-choice) but my dad...yeah, he's insane. Actually, he almost pulled his head out of his ass this past fall and didn't vote for *, (I actually had him talked into voting Libertarian for a while ) but at the last second he balked and...yes, I feel like an alien when I try to talk to them. Mainly because, although they had issues with * and were, to their credit supportive of my love for Kerry, they refused to get involved with volunteer work (I know, what was I expecting?) or donations. I think my mom bought a button but that was it.

Best thing I could ever have done for my sanity.

Probably nowhere near to the extent that you do, but my family is rather conservative (though my dad thinks Bush is a moron, haha), especially on social issues. Very clean-cut looking, very active in sports and such (not just my immediate family either), pretty hardcore Pentecostal background.

Then there's me: very outspoken leftist, agnostic (and largely skeptical), very non-athletic, dreadlocks, piercings, etc.

While my brothers are out playing hockey and making the rest of the family proud, I'm usually here, working on some art or something, which while my parents do encourage me to be creative and to make art, they see it as more of just a silly little hobby.

But whatever, it's not that bad.

My niece came out a very long time ago, it was kinda obvious from a young age, (to most of the family) But not my Mom & Dad, (her grandparents)

The pressure that was put on her for awhile..was bad. But spelling it out to 2 depression era babies...was harder.


Mom & Dad were always respectful, but Mom always held out hope for a husband and kids.

My family orignally consisted of 6 sibling and mother and father. Mother was Dem. All the rest....ahem...Republican...yea, and Catholic. Don't get me started!

I don't talk politics w/ any of them - lost cause.

I think this is time for one. Tell them to drop the politics when you visit or you won't stop by anymore. My dead fathers family gave me the same shit and now I refuse contact. Parents are different. But, you should never have to go through this shit. I don't know, but I only take pills to alleviate pain and I would prefer to get rid of the source of the pain before needing to cure it.

Good luck.

My father is a major Republican. He is not a fundie (thank Dog) and deals ok with me being gay, but he is all about the Protestant work ethic - he worked his ass off for 35 years despite having a disabled daughter and a wife with cancer, so therefore everyone else should suck it up too and not make excuses. If you don't or can't, you're lazy/irresponsible. Never mind that he has a bad heart and a drinking problem, oh noooo that has nothing to do with how difficult it is for him to express his emotions or show weakness. He votes for the Repukes because he thinks they keep his taxes low. The last time I visited, I was boxing up some of my old stuff to mail home, and ran out of packing tape so I was using duct tape. He griped about that, because he says it's expensive. And of course, he's rich enough to live in a huge house, own rental properties and stocks out the wazoo, and not have to worry about how much frigging duct tape costs!

This is why I also did what Seabiscuit did: I moved to California. Although I'm planning to leave soon, because on this I do agree with my father: it's too damn expensive here!

It seems like many children of conservatives grow up to be liberal. But other than Alex Keaton on Family Ties, I don't know of any liberals' kids that grew up to be conservs. I think it would be very difficult for a child who was raised to be open-minded and accepting of diversity to turn into a raving fundamentalist bigot.

Welcome to DU! :hi:

Would you mind if I asked you about your conversion experience? I
find stories like that very interesting. Thanks.