New Living Will

This was sent to me by a friend.


New Living Will

I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind
and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial
means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of
peckerwood politicians who couldn't pass freshman composition if their
lives depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes (much less than 15 years) and I
fail to sit up and ask for a cold beer (rum & coke), it should be
presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is
reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, parents, children, and
attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a
day.

Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a
special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that
these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention
instead to the health, education and future of the millions of
Americans who aren't in a permanent vegetative state.

Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case. I
don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're trying to scrounge
for their run for the presidency in 2008, it is my wish that they play
politics with someone else's life and leave me alone to die in peace.

I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to
legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these
people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and crusade
on my behalf. They should mind their own business too.

If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a
political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make
his or her existence a living hell.

_______________________________________
Signature

__________________________________
Witness

and it cracked me up.

Thanks for sharing :)

Can I steal that? I want it just in case............