Do you have friends who overdo it w/their cellphones when they're w/you?

I've got a couple of 'em who are going to drive me away from them forever, the rude bastards. They're both involved in coaching/managing collegiate sports, and they're on their phones all the time talking to various scouts and other coaches from all over the country. Normally we go to coffee several times a week together when we're taking breaks from our work. The minute we're together, supposedly to relax for a half hour, their phones are ringing nonstop, and I get stuck sitting there listening to their boringly repetitive conversations about this prospect or that prospect. They talk really loud, too. This goes on even if we get together in the evening, and it's rude as all hell. Funny, though, I've noticed that if we're out with our wives, they don't bring their phones, but when they're with me, it's ring ring ring ring. I'VE HAD IT!! :mad:

It's what I would do.

The thing is, you shouldn't have to tell someone that. They should simply know.

Come right out and say EXACTLY what's on your mind. Hinting is what lets them ignore you.

Here's how I'd say it, "Excuse me, but it really bugs me when we're out and you spend more time on your phone than you do talking with me. You take these calls, and I end up twiddling my thumbs and bored out of my skull. It makes me feel like you've put ME on hold for the duration. Would it be possible for you to put your phone on silent mode and let your voicemail pick up the calls for the next half hour, please? Thank you."

Yes, a person should know that taking lots of calls or being on the phone for an extended period of time is rude. But lots of people have major blind spots when it comes to their own rudeness and inconsideration. For whatever reason, etiquette hasn't caught up to the technology.

Oh, and I wanted to add one thing further: I do have a friend who used to do that. Finally, I had to ask exactly this, that she not take calls while we're together -- which isn't all that often. She's such a good friend, she realized that what I was asking wasn't at all unreasonable.

Thanks :)

--here's the perfect opening for you: Go out with one of those friends and wait for him to take a call, as sounds like is inevitable. As soon as he's done, then bring it up immediately. That'll hammer home the point.

I'll wager you anything, they'll say, "Hey, sorry bud, didn't know it bugged you. My bad."

cheers!

No one does this to me because I do not tolerate it.

Tell them -- we can get together ONLY if you turn your phone off.

You know why they don't do this with their wives? Because their wives have already demanded they cut out this bullshit.

It's a weird thing about friendships in America -- people don't think they need to show you consideration or respect, that they can treat you shabbily and because you're "a pal" you won't mind. Manners and grace are just dragged out for people they want to impress. That's BULLSHIT -- who but our friends deserve anything less than our best, and the respect of giving them our full attention when we are together?

People are just dumb, and cell phones seem to bring out the dumbest in people. They need to periodically be re-educated when they behave like assholes.

"who but our friends deserve anything less than our best, and the respect of giving them our full attention when we are together?"

You hit the nail on the head with your entire post. Thank you!

When they're babbling away, call them. If they have call waiting, which I bet the rudies do, they will put the other call on hold, and there you will be, looking them in they eye, and saying over the phone.

"Sorry, gotta go. I didn't want to interrupt you in person, but you're bugging the hell out of me, and I'm going to have coffee with somebody who knows how to turn off their cell phone for 15 minutes."

Stop having coffee with them. Have a nice quiet coffee break by yourself. Explain why you are doing so.

and it was sooo refreshing and relaxing to get a break from the phones.

I hate it. I'm trying to pour out my heart and he answers his phone. The worst is when he checks the messages.

Of course, if I need to call him it's always the messages.

It drives me crazy, especially since this particular friend and I don't get together often. So rude.