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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 06:55 PM
Original message
Please help me get through this time
while I decide whether and when to file for divorce.
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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 06:57 PM
Response to Original message
1. Oh yikes... That's a tough one...
Here's hoping it works the best way possible for you. :hug:
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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 06:57 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. Thanks girl
I can't live without love any more.
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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 06:58 PM
Response to Reply #3
6. Can't blame you there.
Even the worst relationships are hard to leave when you once loved someone. Sorry you have to go through it.
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thecai Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 11:05 PM
Response to Reply #3
19. My Loneliest Time...
...was when I was married. I can relate.
Divorce is painful, but an empty marriage can be deadly.
Follow your heart, if you KNOW it's over, move on. If there's any hope, keep trying. But it only works if BOTH parties want it to, and if BOTH parties work together.
Best wishes and hopes for you!
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 06:57 PM
Response to Original message
2. Sure, honey - whatever you need. We're here for you.
It's not an easy decision.
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 06:57 PM
Response to Original message
4. oh man
:hug:

That's really tough.

:hug:
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greatauntoftriplets Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 06:58 PM
Response to Original message
5. I know you've been unhappy for a long time...
My best to you and your son.
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Bunny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 06:59 PM
Response to Original message
7. Boy , that is tough.
I think the worst part is making the decision. We all deserve love - it's sad to live without it.
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 07:00 PM
Response to Original message
8. Can't, sorry.
Edited on Fri Apr-15-05 07:01 PM by HypnoToad
Never been married.

Never got past first date.

It's better to have loved and lost... or so Shakespeare thinks.

Would like to, but I have no qualifications for doing so.
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tammywammy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 07:01 PM
Response to Original message
9. As a child of divorced parents
(who then remarried and might possibly get divorced again-they're always on the verge)

I'm wishing you the best with making this difficult decision. I'm really close to my mom, and I know how hard it is to decide these things.

:hugs:
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MazeRat7 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 07:02 PM
Response to Original message
10. Mine was signed by the court on Wed.....
Edited on Fri Apr-15-05 07:02 PM by MazeRat7
It was the end of a 25 yr marriage... My choice, my doubts....
Be sure you are clear in your motives, I can already tell my decision will be second guessed by me for some years to come.

MZr7
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thecai Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 11:12 PM
Response to Reply #10
20. Sorry, MazeRat7
How sad. Healing takes time, and sometimes people remarry. Divorces are not carved in stone (well,except mine).
You may always have regrets about the divorce, but w/o divorce you could always have regrets about the marriage.
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sendero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 07:06 PM
Response to Original message
11. Ya know....
.... divorce sucks but everyone deserves to be happy and love and be loved. If that's not happening, you know what you have to do.

It will be tough, but it will be worth it in the end, it really will.
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4_Legs_Good Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 07:08 PM
Response to Original message
12. Ack! Good luck
and our thoughts are with you. Let us know if there's anything we can do for you!

david
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salib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 07:16 PM
Response to Original message
13. I do not know of any good ways to do it
But I can think of many bad ways to do so. Mostly, the bad ones are when you stick around beyond reason.

Still, I found I had to do everything possible to stay so that I "did the right thing." In the end, do not know if it was the right thing. Do not know what is. Promises are what they are. They are also two-way streets, as is said. They are also impossible sometimes.

Probably no help, but just my thoughts.
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MissMarple Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 07:18 PM
Response to Original message
14. I'm sorry, sweetheart. But you have to do what is best in the long run.
:hug:

Now, do you have an attorney? It is never too early to start protecting yourself. If this sounds cold, it's not. It's just, sadly, a necessary thing. If you don't it's time to find a good one and go in for a talk. Please.
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mourningdove92 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 07:38 PM
Response to Original message
15. Look deep in your heart & decide if you are sure this is the end.
My heart aches for you. I know how painful this is. Been there, done that.


:grouphug:
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WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 07:42 PM
Response to Original message
16. Whatever you decide, we're here for you
:hug:
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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 08:05 PM
Response to Original message
17. Thanks, everyone.
I'm going to start looking for an attorney. I'm hoping to find one who isn't a total


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OldLeftieLawyer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 11:26 PM
Response to Reply #17
25. HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is that me?

I'm taller in person. And my tail is curly.


:yourock:
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Kathy in Cambridge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 08:13 PM
Response to Original message
18. We're here for you. Also, if you can afford it, go to counseling.
an objective voice that's not your friends or family can give you an objective view and provide support. Take care of yourself. :hug:
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Nicole Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 11:16 PM
Response to Original message
21. I wish you love, peace and
happiness, whatever you decide to do.

That was the hardest thing I ever did.
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leftofthedial Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 11:19 PM
Response to Original message
22. man. it's an epidemic
good luck
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OldLeftieLawyer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 11:24 PM
Response to Original message
23. If you ask that question,
you've already made your decision.

Now that you've decided, get about it quickly. Like ripping a Band-Aid off a wound, that's the only way to do it.

Get it started. It's the first step into your new, happy life.

You're captain of this ship now, all by yourself, and that means you will make no errors. Everything you do will be your decision, and, for that reason, you'll do everything right, because it's all yours.

Good luck. I've been there, and, believe me, you're in the worst shape right now. It can only get better once you take the reins.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 11:25 PM
Response to Original message
24. Divorce is hell. ;-(
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 11:27 PM
Response to Original message
26. Good luck...
May your new life be everything you lacked in your old life. May you find yourself free, unencumbered, responsible only to yourself. May you discover happiness.

Tucker
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