Papal Election Brings End to Worldwide Sin Binge

VATICAN CITY—In the interim between Pope John Paul II's death and the election of his replacement, unsupervised Catholics seized the opportunity to sin without fear of reprisal, sources confirmed Tuesday.

"For two weeks, it was like Mardi Gras all over again," said Bryan Cousivert, a Catholic from Arizona. "People were drinking, cursing, and engaging in premarital or even extramarital sex. More importantly, everyone was being totally open about it. No one was worried about doing any penance at all!"

Continued Cousivert: "When the cat's away, the mice will play."

Paulo Verrazetti, a resident of Rome, said he and other Italians respectfully refrained from reveling until after Pope John Paul II's funeral.

"We all mourned John Paul II's death," said Verrazetti, who was at St. Peter's Square for the former pope's funeral. "But when Vatican officials said that final 'Amen,' you could feel something change in the air. Someone screamed 'festa!' and pretty soon Catholic women were going wild, running topless in the streets. Last month, seeing a woman with no clothes on would have sent me straight to the confessional. But without a pope around, well... Let's put it this way. For a couple weeks, Catholics the world over adopted the motto, 'If it feels good, do it.'"
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You bet there's more at The Onion: http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4116&n=1

I could of enjoyed a good sin binge and now it's too late. Dammit! Here I am running a business, raising good kids, and being responsible - yawn - and I missed out on my debauchery opportunity.

;-)