New Corporate Buzzword Bingo word: "granularity"

As in "we will deal with the higher-level, holistic view in this meeting, but you will reconvene with your groups to dig into the granularity."

:eyes:

x(

I hate when I use corporate-speak.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

:rofl:

Did you use it the way I described?

Cause I think i didn't get enough granulated sugar in my sugar cookies!

:crazy:

"learnings" (which has replaced the perfectly good "findings")
granularity
ugh.

and them disseminate them.

Make sure you have metrics, too. And optics to your metrics.

And dig deeper...always, dig deeper...

and maximizing our efficiencies.

That's as bad as failing to nurture focused strategic partnerships! :banghead:

:spank:

This goes back decades, kids.

But as with many buzzwords it gets abused on an arbitrary basis.

:D

when I retired from IBM.

I have been charged with this responsibility

or

I have been tasked with....


It annoys the bejeezus out of me.

:shrug:

"here's the overall vision of the corporate restructure. you get to go meet with your boss later today to see how your life will be impacted." my meeting is in 11 minutes. wish me luck.

I'm glad I work for a small company.

how's your health???

and my health is fine. Nothing that cannot be managed with ease. A few days off and then I get on the big bird for Califonia.

BTW, I'm about to post an angry thread about having to be constantly reminded that I will miss the meet-up by all these friggin' "Boston" posts.

i'm sorry.
i wish you could come.

I'ld hate to see the cat fight in your room upon my arrival.

... used that word constantly.

This is someone who could take eager, young new dot-com employees -- at the height of the good times -- and turn them into bitter, cynical nihilists in about two weeks' time.

Ugh!

It was his favorite English word.

Actually, it was an interview for a higher-up position within my company, and I ladled the corpspeak on quite a bit. So many initiatives, so little latitude for schedule adjustment....

;)

TESTICULATING:
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING:
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed, or a project failed, and exactly who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER:
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS:
The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement -by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY:
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream, only to get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM:
An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING:
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm and peoples' heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. Also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.

SITCOMS:
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".

STRESS PUPPY:
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whining all the time.

XEROX SUBSIDY:
Euphemism for nicking free photocopies from one's workplace.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE:
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE:
The rarefied organisational layers that start just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" -needless paperwork and processes.

404:
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found" (meaning that the requested document could not be located).

OHNOSECOND:
That minuscule moment in time when you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've just hit 'reply all').

WOOFIES:
Well Off Older Folk.

CROP DUSTING:
Surreptitiously farting while passing through a CUBE FARM, then enjoying the ensuing sounds of dismay and disgust. Usually leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING.

so we can better actualize the mission for each silo, while maintaining optics to our best practices, in the effort to right-size or structures and optimize our strategies. And you have to do this opportunistically. Also - enable some efficiencies while you're at it. Provide a holistic view and better alignment of core values.

Also - could you enable the redeployment of appropriate existing resources? That'd be great.

of Newspeak. Too many euphemisms and too little honesty.