Time for another joke thread?

I'll start.

A barber is giving a haircut to a priest one morning. Comes time for the priest to pay for the haircut. But the barber says, “I can’t take your money. You’re a good man. You’re a man of God. You help people when they are in need. This haircut is on the house.” Impressed, the priest thanks him and leaves.
The next morning, the barber finds a dozen Bibles in front of his shop.
Later that day, the barber is giving a haircut to a policeman. Comes time for the officer to pay for the haircut. But the barber says, “I can’t take your money. You’re a good man. You’re a man of the law. You help restore order and rescue people in danger. This haircut is on the house.” Impressed, the officer thanks him and leaves.
The next morning, the barber finds a dozen doughnuts in front of his shop.
Later that day, the barber is giving a haircut to a lawyer. Comes time for the lawyer to pay for the haircut. But the barber says, “I can’t take your money. You’re a good man. You’re a man of the court. You help resolve conflicts and make sure justice is served. This haircut is on the house.” Impressed, the lawyer thanks him and leaves.
The next morning, the barber finds a dozen lawyers waiting for free haircuts.

I had this one forwarded to me a while ago:

A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?"
The father replied: "Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine."