Worst joke ever...

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan.
His old man's a Rolling Stone."

that is pretty much the worst.

:D

*groan*

and see what reaction I get. It made me laugh.

I think it's funny.

No, just kidding. It does suck.

:P

cause that made me laugh!

with Roy Rogers?

Roy was very proud of his new boots, but they got dirty out on the range one day, so he cleaned them up and left them on the porch to dry. Next thing he knew, he saw a panther running off with them. The panther sat down under a tree and tore Roy's new boots to shreds.

Well, Roy just saw red, and he sent a hunting party out after the cat. A few hours later, the hunters came back. The lead hunter had a cat slung over his horse's neck. He dismounted and walked up to Roy and said,

"Pardon me, Roy: is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?"

A mechanic sent them to a fruitstand because he heard Nuns traveled in "pairs!!"

Go ahead laugh, I know you want to.

He opens the door, a snail is on the front porch. The guy picks the snail up and throws him as far as he can. Three years later, another knock at the door. The guy opens the door, its the snail again and the snail asks him, "What was that all about?"

and then i think "poor snail"

That was awful, haha.

and says "ouch, my nose."

The bartender says: "Buddy, why the long face?"

Send down four skin divers
FORESKIN DIVERS!-get it?:+

The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"

They could never leave the valley, because every time they tried to, the ogre living at the top would always kick them back down.

One day, a rabbi happened upon the Trid village and heard their story. Angered, he went to talk to the ogre. The ogre watched with disinterest as the rabbi walked back and forth in front of him. Finally the rabbi confronted the monster, and demanded to know why the ogre hadn't booted him back down into the valley.

"Silly rabbi," said the ogre, "kicks are for Trids."

disclaimer (no baby seals were harmed in the telling of this joke.)

It was because of Ferdinand Feghoot that the great composer Richard Wagner found himself under arrest on the planet Madama Butterfry in the year 5735. Feghoot had told him of the planet whose inhabitants claimed that every opera theme had been stolen from them. "Vhat!" cried Wagner. "Only Teutonic ideas are good for grand opera! Vhere is this planet? Come, ve take your space-time machine. I vill show you!"

Upon their arrival, they went through customs, where they were ordered to declare any arias, operas, etc. Wagner sneeringly gave them a list. Immediately he was arrested and charged with grand theft. "This is an outrage! Vhat themes could I possibly have stolen from you?" demanded Wagner, and the officer offered to give them a tour.

First, they came upon a vendor camped beneath a tree. His sign announced, "Root Bottom Stanley! Best deals in the galaxy! Absolutely no being in the universe undersells me! Garfinkels, $2 each." Nearby was a modest stand manned by a mole-like person. His sign said simply, "Garfinkels, 6 for a dollar."

"Vhat does this have to do with me?" said Wagner. Ferdinand Feghoot replied, "Tree Stan Undersold."

Next, they moved on to a storage shed filled with jars of fruits, preserves, and so on. A thin rubbery organism grasped the opening of one jar, crying out in a thin plaintive voice, "Please, can't I have some jam? Please, just a taste? Oh, how I long for it!"

"Doubtless," said Feghoot before anyone could speak, "This is the Nibble-Longing Lid."

Finally, the travelers were taken to a dock where a frog-like creature sat trapping shellfish. His topknot glowed fitfully, barely visible in the evening twilight. Mournfully, he kept to his task.

Wagner flew into a rage. "Vhat rubbish! Vhat could this possibly have to do with me!"

"Dim Oyster Sinker," said Ferdinand Feghoot.

Here's one for the science geeks:

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

Atom #1: "I lost my electron!"

Atom #2: "Are you sure?"

Atom #1: "I'm positive!"

:hi:

An ornithologist on an expedition to to darkest Blovenia comes up a tiny little bird with golden yellow feathers the likes of which he had never seen. He decided he must have it for his collection, so he brought it home. When asked what kind of bird it was he realized that since he discovered this rare bird it was up to him to name it, so he called it the Rarey, in honor of its extreme rarity.

But as the years went by the bird grew and grew until it was nearly 6 feet tall. Unable to feed and house it any more the man decided it was time to turn his beloved pet loose in the wilds. He loaded into a wheel barrow and pushed to a nearby cliff, knowing that once he dropped it over the cliff its instinct to fly would take over and it would fly away.

Just as he was about to raise the wheel barrow and dump the poor bird his neighbor came by and gazed over the cliff into the deep canyon, and remarked. "That's a long way to tip a rarey."

How does he smell?

Awful...

:rofl: