Savage Love's reader's advice for 15 year old girls

http://villagevoice.com/people/0517,websavage,63354,24.html

This should be titled, "If I Knew Then What I Know Now..." I want to invent a tme machine and give this column to my sorry ass back in '86...

Just a few choice selections:

Here is what I wished I knew when I was 15: Some guys will fuck mud. Just because a guy is willing to have sex with you, it does not mean he likes your personality or finds you physically attractive. That said, it's really not that hard to get guys to sleep with you. Lots of guys probably already want to, they just aren't saying so. However—and herein lies my most important point—no matter how much porn your watch or how much Our Bodies, Ourselves or Savage Love you read, it doesn't mean you're prepared to deal with the emotions that can come with having sex. I found that out the hard way, and I'd rather that other girls don't have to go through the same thing. —Rachel F.

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What do I wish I knew at age 15? That I should live my life as if I would never have a man. I wish I had known that I should be financially self-sufficient, that I should cultivate interests in things I enjoy, that I should grow friendships that will stand the test of time. I wish I'd known then that I should make a life for myself that I enjoy and find fulfilling. And then if a guy comes along who can complement, not be a substitute for, my life he is the gravy, not the whole damn meatloaf.

And I wish I had known (and this is important) that a good, emotionally healthy man will appreciate me for being a human being with a full life outside of any sexual or romantic relationship. Any man who expects less is not someone I want to waste a Saturday night on, let alone the rest of my life. —Joyful in Baltimore

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The best advice I ever got was when I was in my 20s; I was able to pass it on to my 14-year-old sister (poor kid went to Catholic school, didn't even know what a clitoris was!): A hard-on is not a terminal illness.

Just because a boy is suffering from a bad case of wood, doesn't mean you have any obligation to go further than you are comfortable with. Even if he whines. Even if he begs. And if he gets rough, get outta there! But honestly, don't feel guilty, his erection is not your responsibility; he's got lots of experience taking care of himself. —Just Another Dame Enjoying Dick

There are a lot of things I wish I would have known when I was a teenager. Relationships aren't at the top of my list and my life shows it now. I'm 32 and single and I haven't been in a relationship for ten years. Never married and I never judged myself poorly for not getting involved with someone. But I'm a guy so I guess I have a different perspective on this.

can be applied to teenage boys as well. May I direct you to the letter he ran a few weeks ago specifically for teenage boys? http://villagevoice.com/people/0511,savage,62041,24.html

Don't you wonder why teenage girls seem to be brainwashed into believing that having a boyfriend is the most important thing and that they, not the boy, are the ones who have to work hard by looking good to get a date. Unfortunately, for me, my mother was part of this brainwashing. I also didn't know that the guys who I wanted, but didn't want me, were stupid jerks anyway. Why would I really want to date a guy who didn't want to go out with me because I was more accomplished than him in academics and sports?