Settle a disagreement

I have a friend, Jay, whom I've known for 3 years. Over that time, we have been just friends.

Lately, Jay has been taking me out, buying dinners and drinks and not letting me pay for anything. He even came to my house and brought lobsters and steamers.

Is Jay getting sweet on me? I told him last weekend, "If you keep being so good to me, I'm going to think you're getting sweet on me." His response was "you never know."

I asked a mutual friend of ours what she thought and she said that I'm not the same person I was a year ago (which I think is true both physically and emotionally--I'm a much happier person these days), and that she thought for sure that Jay was interested in being more than friends.

My kids say that Jay is interested.

But people don't feel that way about me. They never have. Jay was seeing a woman and that didn't work out. He's just spending time w/ me so that he won't be lonely... right?

from the information provided it sounds like he liiiiikeeesss you!

Hello????????

LOL, don't be so hard on yourself. Jay is diggin' on you and you may as well accept it.

at least in New England it does.

He's sweet on you. :)

sounds like an opportunity

Just ask him and go on from there.:hi:

and enjoy

:evilgrin:

You know, like he likes likes you.

unless they are interested in more than 'just friends'. That is the undying, unwritten law of male/female relationships. He is DEFINITELY interested. The real question is -- are you interested in HIM?

Thats not necessarily true. A friend of mine will pick up my tab if I'm low on cash, and I KNOW he is not interested in me. Trust me, I'm so not his type, and he's madly in love with his girlfriend.

If there is no reason for him to be spending the money (like knowing you are low on cash), and he does it on a regular basis, then yes, it means he is interested.

:P

Very much so.

but that's a bit racy. As a guy, let me give you a 99.9% assurance that he is interested in you. Since we all know women decide who we're with, get busy evaluating the guy: yes/no; hire/fire; amusement/something more.

No way I would do all that for "just a friend"

Just a friend: alternate paying dinner & drinks
just a friend: order pizza

Something more: always pay
something more: well, I wouldn't do lobster, but that's just because I'm allergic.

Is he playing Barry White CDs in the background too?
:D

but he did burn a bunch of CDs for me of music that I had mentioned I would like to own.

sweet on you :)


:hug:

And why shouldn't he be?

onLy question is... do you want him?

I think he might we sweet on you?:loveya:

Pretty much the same as when male Crows bring shiny things to females. He likes you down to his brain stem.........

It's fun to watch at the bird feeder!

"Millie and Jay sittin' in a tree.....K-i-s-s-i-n-g...etc" (giggles)

I think he likes ya. How do you feel about him?

it means HE knows. Otherwise, he would have brushed it off and said something to make sure you knew you were just friends.

He's sweet on ya! :)

:-) He sounds like a great guy.

But are you interested?

He's a sweet guy. Other than the fact that he voted for *, I think he's warm and funny and intelligent and thoughtful. Could I stand being around a guy like that? Sure.

But I'm TERRIFIED. I am a LOUSY judge of people, so while I'm sitting here saying what a nice guy he is, there's a part of me that says, "There has to be something seriously wrong with him" because when it comes to picking men, I always pick the bad ones.

There's a reason why I'm still single at 40.

Don't get serious or anything. If you can help it, it's easier said then done, of course.

A good girlfriend won't let you get involved with a guy she thinks is scum.

I personally couldn't date someone who voted for bushy though- I like my men mean, lean, and liberal :D

and they seem to like him well enough. They didn't spend a lot of time together.

All of my girlfriends are out of town, so they haven't had an opportunity to meet.

the dating quandary.

males get scared, too. LOTS of people miss great oportunities solely because the male doesn't have the confidence to state his case, and the female waits for him to make a move.

think it over carefully, decide whether you have feelings for him, and if you do, open the door. in this case it sounds like a sure thing, IMO, but if you want a relationship, assume some of the risk yourself and help the guy out.



then, PLEASE, work on his politix!!!! :evilgrin:

a woman with a club and dragging her off by the hair. This is almost as obvious.

i have a girl friend who is like that. we spend lots of time together, talk on the phone several times a day and she comes over every Friday to watch me cook for the family and drink beer. My husband thinks she's sweet on me (i would be flattered if so) but i tell him were just very close. who knows......

If you look at things from the perspective of "people don't feel that way about me. They never have" then you'll never see when they are truly interested. Don't be surprised if he makes more of a move, if you let him.

It's the wall I put up so that I don't have to risk being hurt.... again.

I've used it most of my life. All I can say is, it feels really good not to anymore. If I hadn't dropped my guard i never would have been able to get along with the Prophetess, and I am convinced she is my match. So much so, everyone calls us bookends.
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return" Moulin Rouge

You're so sweet, and look at all the changes you've made in your life recently. That type of hard work doesn't go unnoticed, believe me. I say go for it - he's a lucky guy! :hug:

what a nice thing to say. Thank you!

Yes, he is definetely "sweet" on you. If it were going to be any more obvious, an anvil would have to fall on your head. It seems like Jay, the friend, has watched your mental, physical and spiritual changes over the past year, likes the changes, and wants to become more than just friends. Now then, the ball is in your court. Do you wish to encourage him or not?

And please, please, don't sell yourself short. I know, I know, you've got tons of excuses as to why you think you're unworthy, but they're all so much BS. It seems that you are a wonderful person, and I'm not just judging from your posting here, though that is part of it. It also seems that your friends think that you are a wonderful person, and that Jay thinks likewise. You can poo-poo this all you want, but if Jay is half the man you say he is, he is going to see through all of the smokescreens and BS you try to put up, and love you for you. And yes, I've had to deal with this esteem problem with my wife, and her BS didn't work on me:evilgrin:

So again, the ball is in your court. It sounds like Jay is a nice guy, and is interested in you. If you're interested in him being other than friends, than indicate that to him. If you want to go slow, and I can't blame you, I'm sure he'll understand and will do so. But please, please, don't run away from this opportunity just because you don't think you "deserve" it. You indeed are worthy of of love and companionship, and Jay thinks so to.

I'm just lousy at picking men.

(On edit: I'm kidding of course. I do have some self-esteem issues, but I am getting better. Healing is a long process.)

And that is one of the things Jay likes about you, HAH! He also probably thinks that you are warm, funny, intelligent, cute, etc. etc., even though you don't think you are. And you know what, HE'S RIGHT! You know why he's right? Because his viewpoint is much more objective than yours! HAH AGAIN!

If you can't tell, I've been through these discussions before, etc. etc.:evilgrin: I see below where he wants to go out with you this weekend. Do it, and if you're comfortable, go for it. Life is too short to let things pass by just because you doubt yourself. Go out and have a great time!

Jay wants to go out tonight for dinner and drinks. We have a mutual friend who tends bar, so we'll go and visit w/ her.

He also wants to take me to Foxwoods when I'm on vacation at the end of next week.

things everyone has said here today; but let me emphasize: YES he's sweet on you! And I was saying that to myself before I even finished reading your paragraphs.
Go for it! Go at a pace that you find comfortable...He's already waited and watched for a year, my dear. That means he has the long view in mind. My husband was the same way when we were courting/dating. He didn't push me. And now we're married almost 40 years.

AND BTW: CONGRATULATIONS!

:toast:

Don't sell yourself short - sometimes the most obvious thing in the world is something we are afraid to see, so we close our eyes to it.

I used to think that no one was ever interested in me, but then I met the Prophet. And as I thought about past experiences with other men, I realized that they might have been giving me the signals that I just wouldn't (couldn't?) pick up on.

Open yourself up to the possibility and see where it takes you. Good luck! :toast:

making an honest effort to win your heart.

You've given me quite a bit to think about. I'm going to put the thoughts aside for today though and just enjoy this evening. I guess if he tries to kiss me, I'll know... right?

Don't wait for him to kiss you... if you feel like kissing the guy, GO FOR IT! This is the 21st century you know... ;)

Bella, who never turns down free food and kisses whoever she damn well pleases ;)

He has the hots for you

He isn't interested; he's obsessed.

I don't know if I can handle "obsessed".

Get after it!

we haven't even held hands yet!

hold hands, talk, flirt . . .

he clearly is interested in you. Are you interested in him?

You just lost a bunch of weight and you do not see yourself as Jay does.

He likes you...

as a work in progress.

What I see now that I didn't see 85 lbs. ago is that I am capable of much more than I ever could have believed.

Jay is definitely sweet on you.